Why people always say "nothing new" to you.

V

Victor

Senior Member
Location
midwest USA
Do people you know answer "nothing's new" when you ask them a question?
I know many acquaintances and a friend who typically say "nothing" when I ask them
what's going on or something like that. A woman who works for me has said that
for six years. I assume that either they don't care to talk (to me), it's none
of my business, or possibly they lead very dull boring lives. No one's life is that boring
really. I know their lives are quiet and stay home. This is not about COVID or shutdowns.
I have heard "nothing's new" long before that. What do you think? Is this a personal issue?
 

It takes a little longer for a conversation to get going. ‘Nothing new‘ is just a basic comment just like ‘fine’ is for a reply to asking about your health. That second question can get you answers that you wished you hadn’t asked.
 

I ran into this lady and her husband a while back. i asked "Whatchabeenupto?"

She didn't answer right away. She got this puzzled look on her face as if this were a new realization,
and said,"You know what?"
"I never realized this before but we get up in the morning and think about eating breakfast.
Then we eat breakfast.
We do nothing all morning except think about what we're going to eat for lunch.
Then we eat lunch.
Then we do nothing all afternoon until we start thinking about what we will eat for dinner.
Then we eat dinner.
We might watch a little TV and eat snacks. We go to bed and do this again the next day."
"Our whole life is about thinking of eating food and eating food.
Then we go to the store and get more food.
She walked away with this horrified look on her face that her life is nothing.

There are people who really don't do anything. There really ARE!
 
Well, in 2020, "nothin' new" is the correct response for many of us. The big event on my social calendar nowdays is going over to pick up groceries curbside.

Even before the pandemic, though "what's new" kinda depends on who's asking. If it's a casual acquaintance, it depends on what you feel like sharing with them -- I don't think a casual acquaintance would be interested in the fact that I just caught another mouse or I've discovered a new little shop I like or that I've just purchased a great new pair of pants. My sister would be interested, or friends, but that's about it. I don't go around sharing details of my daily life with casual acquaintances.

"What's new" is way too open ended a question to have much of an answer, unless something colossal has just happened in your life, IMHO.
 
I don't know that "Fine" or "Nothing" would be such a bad answer. People are just reaching out, expressing friendship by asking, not necessarily searching for answers. If you ask, "How's it going?" or "How are you?" and the person is a hypochondriac or a chronic complainer, you might get more of an answer than you bargained for.
 
Victor said:
Do people you know answer "nothing's new" when you ask them a question?
I know many acquaintances and a friend who typically say "nothing" when I ask them
what's going on or something like that. A woman who works for me has said that
for six years. I assume that either they don't care to talk (to me), it's none
of my business, or possibly they lead very dull boring lives. No one's life is that boring
really. I know their lives are quiet and stay home. This is not about COVID or shutdowns.
I have heard "nothing's new" long before that. What do you think? Is this a personal issue?
Click to expand...
Having grown up in the 60's, family, friends, neighbours, others... "nothing new" was a good thing, meaning people's health was good, no bad news had stricken them, there was nothing pressing in their lives, and in a round about way, life was good.

I see nothing strange with the answer whatsoever. It takes me back in time to a more simple and relaxed era, where people were people. Real people, real folk.
 
People used to talk about the weather when they had nothing to say. When I email friends who have lost a loved one recently or have stressful things happening in their lives, rather than asking them about it all, I lead with in the subject line, "How are things?" That gives them the opportunity to open up about what ever they want to talk about, if anything. Sometimes when I have talked to people about things that are important to me, I've gotten the reply, "Too much information." People can be gun-shy because of past responses like that. Sometimes it depends on what part of the country/world one is in. Was one raised in the big city where everyone is suspicious of everyone, or was one raised in the south where people invite you over for chicken dinner? My husband was raised in NYC. He does not easily invite people into his life. I was raised on a small farm on the west coast. Dad would always invite people to dinner and start talking to anyone he met in the store. He was open and friendly. There are a lot of possible variables.
 
Gaer, that story is sad...if it happens everyday. I think most people are easily satisfied just to pass the
time, wherever they live...unless they are so busy working. And no one is interested
in hearing about another ordinary day at work. I don't know if friends are interested whether I bought a new blanket or shirt or redecorated my apt. And likewise with them. They don't share my hobbies. Sometimes saying nothing keeps people at a distance to avoid talking to me or you. A stranger says "nothing."

Reminds me of a story: woman goes to a bakery and orders a cake. Clerk says, what do you want written
on it? Woman says, "oh, nothing." She gets the cake later, and on it is written "oh nothing." ----- true
 
It depends on the people involved.

I avoid asking some people how they are or what's new because I know from past experience that they will spend the next hour telling me in excruciating detail.

I usually stick with hello or good morning unless I really care about what's happening in another person's life.

For me, the best policy is don't ask don't tell.
 
Victor said:
Do people you know answer "nothing's new" when you ask them a question?
I know many acquaintances and a friend who typically say "nothing" when I ask them
what's going on or something like that. A woman who works for me has said that
for six years. I assume that either they don't care to talk (to me), it's none
of my business, or possibly they lead very dull boring lives. No one's life is that boring
really. I know their lives are quiet and stay home. This is not about COVID or shutdowns.
I have heard "nothing's new" long before that. What do you think? Is this a personal issue?
Click to expand...
I guess it depends on the question.
I don't know many times I've heard the question what's new with you?

If it begins with I see you are wearing a neck brace & ask What happened ?
 
Completely agree with @Butterfly's response. Depends who's asking. My life has many facets.

If it's a neighbor I might share something I noticed in our our area.
If it's a relative or friend who lives 3000 miles away I'll mention something meaningful in the context of our relationship rather than the new adorable puppy living next door.
If my kids ask I'll go into detail about things that I know will be of interest to them.
 
Phoenix said:
People used to talk about the weather when they had nothing to say. When I email friends who have lost a loved one recently or have stressful things happening in their lives, rather than asking them about it all, I lead with in the subject line, "How are things?" That gives them the opportunity to open up about what ever they want to talk about, if anything. Sometimes when I have talked to people about things that are important to me, I've gotten the reply, "Too much information." People can be gun-shy because of past responses like that. Sometimes it depends on what part of the country/world one is in. Was one raised in the big city where everyone is suspicious of everyone, or was one raised in the south where people invite you over for chicken dinner? My husband was raised in NYC. He does not easily invite people into his life. I was raised on a small farm on the west coast. Dad would always invite people to dinner and start talking to anyone he met in the store. He was open and friendly. There are a lot of possible variables.
Click to expand...
That's so true of most Brits .. we're very much a nation who don't discuss Religion, or Politics outside of our own families and or close friends, so a safe reply to a question from an aqauiantence will always either be about the Weather ( numero Uno).. or the kids or grandchildren...
 
hollydolly said:
That's so true of most Brits .. we're very much a nation who don't discuss Religion, or Politics outside of our own families and or close friends, so a safe reply to a question from an aqauiantence will always either be about the Weather ( numero Uno).. or the kids or grandchildren...
Click to expand...
I was raised that it was best not to discuss politics or religion, too. It's one of those sayings that is wise to adhere to. When I was a kid I didn't have any grandchildren. Grin. I still don't. So I don't discuss them. :)
 
This brought back a memory of a phone call I had with my mom several years ago when she and my dad were in their late 70's.
My mom called me around 5 pm just to talk. I knew they always ate dinner around 5:00. I asked her why she was calling at dinnertime and she said they had eaten at 4pm. I asked her why had they eaten so early and she replied," it was something to do."
It seemed so funny back then but now I'm in the same boat.
Sometimes life does just revolve around food.
 
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