Why women dread aging in America after hearing hateful comments about their older looking apperance I understand why

Marlene said:
@Barneyhill, Good for you!!!! I lost a friend of 30 years in 2018 because she was so upset that I wear lipstick and exercise and keep in shape that she felt it "her duty" to tell me that the other women in her group didn't like me because they perceived me as a threat. WUT? A threat to what? I didn't know any of them, so I'm not sure how I could possibly have threatened any of them for any reason (we haven't lived in the same place for the past many years). Long story short, she got very angry because I wouldn't "dress down" and "stop wearing makeup." My conclusion is this: real women friends do not demand that one another give up parts of themselves that are important (such as looking nice and staying in shape).

Now, as to younger women making remarks, that is simply ridiculous as we all age and aging does NOT take away our desire and need to feel attractive to other people. I have never had a negative experience with a young woman regarding my looks. I've been very blessed, I suppose, in that they are mostly just very complimentary.

Now, as to the fellow who made the disparaging remarks, I would have smiled and said: well now, you seem to think I care what you think. I don't. I dress and groom myself to please me, not you.

People who try to shame others into changing some behavior are merely bullies. If they have a legitimate complaint, then state it and stop with the shaming. For example, if my lipstick is smeared or on my teeth, or if someone asks whether I like one look more than another, I will be honest. However, unsolicited "advice" on a person's looks is not welcome. If I can give a compliment, I will. If I can't, there is no reason to be mean.

Ha, ha to the comment about younger guys. I'm sorry, but so what if a younger guy finds us attractive??? I don't know a man alive who doesn't find younger women attractive - turnabout's fair play, eh? We all need a bit of admiration from time to time to make sure we still have a pulse (y)

I would hope that any of us at any age could acknowledge that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is ageless. I've known beautiful people of 20 and beautiful people of 90. Geeesh, one age range does NOT have any human attribute locked up as their own (and I taught and still teach the sociology of aging, so I'm basing that statement on findings, not feelings).

P.S. I wear bright orange lipstick every single day because it brings out my blue eyes (but mostly because I LOVE it :p You go girl. . .wear the lipstick. . .claim your identity . . .and smile. As I tell my daughter: illegitimi non carborundum
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All I can say after this is that you are a Phenomenal lady and you are an inspiration stay that way always.


 

Oh goodness no. I’m certainly as eccentric but not quite that old and my hair much longer.
I do really like confidence of these photos.
Thanks for the compliment all the same.
Here’s a picture of me but with no makeup and my hair tied back
 
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win231 said:
When I see a woman with big fake breasts, I think of a cow that needs to be milked. It's hard for me to believe they actually think they look sexy.
And those women who get implants because they think their boyfriends will like them more? They're as stupid as their boyfriends.
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I have to agree with you on this one. If I got implants, it would be for me and me only..not a man. I don't have them nor need them... I am grateful for what God gave me.
 
chic said:
I see nothing wrong with trying to look your best at any age even if that means wearing winged eyeliner and red lipstick. This is Valerie Von Sobel aged 70 something. She's a unique fashionista and I think she's pretty cool.

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I totally agree. I look beautiful for me and no one else. When I am not going anywhere, I will put on a bit of makeup.. its not for hubby or anyone else, its for me. Therefore if he pass away before me, I will continue to look beautiful.
 
Barneyhill said:
You all may be curious of why I am so emotional about this issue. I is because the ladies are exactly like the description in your post. You know the ones who let themselves go. They give up and don't even try. I think I know why. It's because when they may have taken care of their appearance younger people especially younger girls jump on attack them by saying negative things like look at her she is trying to be young like one of us!

This is big problem how younger ladies over react to attractive well groomed older ladies. They don't do it quietly often these girls try to publicly shame older women. So often maybe our sisters get tired of all the flax and BS and give up the fight to stay lovely.


I remember a few ago one of my co-workers a lady in my same age group asked why I came to work wearing lipstick and face powder. And she asked do you think a young boy is going to notice you? I was surprised but I didn't let her negativity stop me from wearing cosmetics, I have worn makeup since I was 19 and I don't intend to stop using it on my face.

I was told 3 years ago I didn't have good sense because I was wearing "muted red lipstick" by a male nearly my same age. It wasn't even applied in a heavy manner this guy felt at my age my face should be striped of make-up. He also accused me of trying to act like a young girl. No, I didn't stop wearing makeup either.
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For myself I don’t think age has anything to do with it. You mention several times that it’s the younger women hating on older woman who still put effort into trying to look good. I think there are many women who don’t like women ‘at any age’ putting an effort into looking good , but that’s just women and I don’t think that will ever change.

If you dress up to look good, you get accused of being a mutton dressed as a lamb or that you’re trying too hard. If you don’t wear much makeup and don’t get too dressed up you get accused of being frumpy or letting yourself go.

It seems the best thing to do is just be yourself and not care what others think. If you dress up to please yourself, then you’ll never be disappointed in those regards. People have their own reasons for criticizing and it often has nothing to do with us.
 
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peppermint said:
Nice Keesha..
.I never go out without my hair decent,, clothes and shoes.....Also, a little makeup....
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My hair is always braided or in an updo except for hair washing day and I always wear makeup. If I don’t have any on it means it either wore off or I cried it off.

I looked through my pictures and that was the only full length picture I had of me. My husband doesn’t take many pictures of me and I don’t take a lot of me either but perhaps I should.

Walking through the forests in the autumn means it’s close to hunting season and my husband makes me wear the orange X for clothing. It’s not very attractive but it beats getting shot at.
 
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Keesha said:
My hair is always braided or in an updo except for hair washing day and I always wear makeup. If I don’t have any on it means it either wore off or I cried it off.

I looked through my pictures and that was the only full length picture I had of me. My husband doesn’t take many pictures of me and I don’t take a lot of me either but perhaps I should.

Walking through the forests in the autumn means it’s close to hunting season and my husband makes me wear camouflaged clothing. It’s not very attractive but it beats getting shot at.
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I thought you should wear orange not camo clothing at hunting season? This is the way my male relatives always do it and none have been shot at yet.
 
chic said:
I thought you should wear orange not camo clothing at hunting season? This is the way my male relatives always do it and none have been shot at yet.
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My mistake. I didn’t mean camouflaged.
I meant THIS! It really isn’t an attractive look but it’s the only full length picture I currently have of me. 0CE5F110-F147-471E-8AEF-094513106A48.jpegAnd it’s blurry. :( Yep! It’s orange.
 
Yes, that's what you'd need to wear. We have lots of woodlands where I live and game, but there is no hunting allowed. So I wear black while hiking with a bright scarf just to stand out amongst the forest.
 
Keesha said:
For myself I don’t think age has anything to do with it. You mention several times that it’s the younger women hating on older woman who still put effort into trying to look good. I think there are many women who don’t like women ‘at any age’ putting an effort into looking good , but that’s just women and I don’t think that will ever change.

If you dress up to look good, you get accused of being a mutton dressed as a lamb or that you’re trying to hard. If you don’t wear much makeup and don’t get too dressed up you get accused of being frumpy or letting yourself go.

It seems the best thing to do is just be yourself and not care what others think. If you dress up to please yourself, then you’ll never be disappointed in those regards. People have their own reasons for criticizing and it often has nothing to do with us.
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Very well stated... Dress to impress YOU!!
 
I finally went with the girls for a lunch, yesterday...I miss all of them since we all retired...Wow Is Me....anyway....I haven't seen most of them
since last Spring...When I got out of the car my one friend told me that I look so good....(I think she had sunglasses on)… Anyway, I told her
I will be going to my hair dresser, I haven't been there since my last Birthday....I was dyeing my hair every once and a while...So tomorrow
I'm going to get my hair cut....Cause I decided, it seems when you get older some people say you should keep your hair short.....

Lady, thank you for stating....Dress to impress YOU!!!!!!!!
 
peppermint said:
I'm going to get my hair cut....Cause I decided, it seems when you get older some people say you should keep your hair short.....
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Shouldn’t there be a period between these two sentences?

Im going to get a haircut cause I decided.
It seem when you get older some people say you ‘should’ keep it short.

If not, then it reads that you are getting a haircut cause others think you should have short hair cause you’re older?
 
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I think a lot of women sell themselves short, from teenage years to the grave.
As a teen I had bad skin and covered myself in layers of makeup. I went to bed with my hair in plastic rollers - somewhat painful experience. I wore foot crippling stilettos that were also painful.

Then I read Germaine Greer's Female Eunuch and understood that such practices were not mandatory. I could wear makeup when I felt like it and leave it off if I wanted to. Later I read her book The Change and understood that being an older woman past her reproductive years can be the most liberating time of life. She urged embracing our post menopausal years and becoming a crone, as befits an elder of the tribe. She was using this definition of crone - "The Crone is an archetypal figure, a Wise Woman".

Have I let myself go? You bet, but my skin has never looked better. It is clear and mostly smooth and I have rosy cheeks and lips that I never had in my youth. My short, white hair is shiny and soft to touch.. My feet, perpetually shod with sensible flat shoes, mean one less pain to cope with. When I need to I can scrub up for an outing that requires a bit more effort. I've just come home from a cruise and of course I packed my makeup, hairspray and nicest clothes. The shoes were still flat though.
 
I quit getting noticed years ago because I'm not a half dressed teenager. But that's ok. I don't dress to impress anymore because I don't care. If a person doesn't love you the way you are then whatever.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I'm not a woman. Yeah, I'm 73. You are not going to believe this, but I don't have the body of an 18 year old. I could pine away wishing my abdomen was flat, like when I was 18. I could pray that my butt was still "cute", like when I was 18. Or I could face the fact that I'm 73. I look like I'm 73. And I could accept that the aging process is a fact of life. Maybe, I shouldn't be that vain about my age to the point where it affects getting on with my life. I'm alive. I'm 73. So what if I look like I'm 73. I am.
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That was written when i was 73. Now, I'm 74. Oh. I was I had the body of a 73 year old again.
 
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