Woman avoiding me after saying she was interested in my books

debodun

debodun

SF VIP
Location
way upstate in New York, USA
At the November meeting of our local Senior's group, a woman mentioned how she enjoyed coloring. Apparently that's the rage now with some seniors. She gets together with some other ladies and they have "coloring parties". There are even adult coloring books out for this. She says it's very relaxing.

I know I have a huge box of coloring books - there must be 50 books. I acquired them in the days before I had a computer to use for pattern to decorate gift packages. Most of the the pages are not used. I told her about them and said she could have the whole box for $5. She said she was interested and would come to my house to look at them and we made an appointment. The morning of the day we were to meet, she sent me an email saying she couldn't come that day, but made no alternative date. I let it go. We didn't have a senior's meeting in December.

A few days before the January meeting, I sent her an email asking if she was still interested in the books and if so, I could bring them to the meeting. She never replied. At the January meeting I saw her come in. She saw me and went over and sat at another table. This is unusual because she's always sat at my table before. I felt she was avoiding me and it had to do with the books. I don't know why she's playing this cat-and-mouse game. If she changed her mind, why didn't she just say so? If she thought $5 was too much (that's about 10¢ a book), she also could have said something. Any theories?
 

I don't know what to advise you. If I was in that situation and it bothered me I would say to her " I am under the impression you are avoiding me. Are you? if so would you like to tell me why so I can understand if you are comfortable doing that?"
 
Maybe she simply doesn't have $5 and is too embarrassed to say so. I can't tell you how many times in the past seven years I haven't had $5 or even $1.

And coloring isn't all the rage with just seniors; it's the latest, greatest "therapy" kind of thing for lots of people. A Canadian friend in her 40s has been coloring for quite some time; my daughter who's in her 50s loves to color to de-stress; I'm 75 and just got my first coloring book for Christmas. It really is very relaxing. And it's mindless so there's absolutely nothing going through my head while I color.
 

Maybe the lady doesn't want the coloring books anymore and doesn't want to tell you, could be she bought one herself and doesn't need them. I've noticed that some much older senior people behave strangely or say strange things sometimes. Don't pay it any mind - just smile and move on.
 
I agree with Cookie, maybe she just doesn't want them and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. I'd just let it go, not everyone is comfortable saying the "no" word, and that shouldn't be held against them.
 
It could be the money. A few months ago I had a large (X3 or 4) yellow chicken suit for sale. I advertised it on my local Facebook selling page for $8 and a lady said she'd buy it. Then she told me she wouldn't have the $ till after the first of the month so I said, that's OK, I'll put it out in the UPS box in front of my house and you pick it up and pay me after the first of the month. Then she said "I won't have the gas to come down there till after the first of the month." She only lives 10 or 12 miles further up mountain from me. I felt really bad she didn't have the $8 or the gas but I didn't want to embarrass her so I let it go. And after the first she did come buy it. So sometimes, it's the money. :(
 
debodun, maybe it has nothing to do with the books. Maybe nothing to do with you, either. You shouldn't worry about it. I wouldn't be surprised if one day soon she sits with you and talks as though nothing happened.

Just an aside; adult coloring books aren't like your run-of-the-mill coloring books. The illustrations are complex, intricate, fanciful, and many are just designs like fractals or paisley, that sort of thing.
 
Do you still have the color books? If so I think I'd donate them to the next church yard sale or maybe take them to church and leave them in the lobby with a "Free" sign on them and yet young and old alike take some home.
 
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For want ever reason, it appears she is avoiding you to avoid that subject.

I would just let the subject go and never mention it again unless she does. Engage her in small talk about other things as if the whole thing has been forgotten.

.
 
I have business cards I give out with my books logo on them ( Where The Blacktop Ends) I usually count on a sale after giving out five cards, each person says I will buy your books, but a lot of times that's not true, My books on Amazon, I have read where they are trying to cheat Author's now, by not counting when a third party sell your book, you don't get paid, just disappointing to have this happening .
 
john19485 said:
I have business cards I give out with my books logo on them ( Where The Blacktop Ends) I usually count on a sale after giving out five cards, each person says I will buy your books, but a lot of times that's not true, My books on Amazon, I have read where they are trying to cheat Author's now, by not counting when a third party sell your book, you don't get paid, just disappointing to have this happening .
Click to expand...

I'm not sure what you mean because I do purchase from Amazon retailers in addition to Amazon itself. But when a retailer sells a book, they've either purchased the book themselves, either new or used from someone else who that someone else purchased it. Somewhere, somehow, someone already purchased that book meaning it was paid for. When Amazon sells the book directly without a third party retailer, the author gets a cut of the purchase price, just like in a bookstore? Or not? Am I understanding the process correctly or not?
 
From https://www.vox.com/culture/2017/5/19/15596050/amazon-buy-box-publishing-controversy


here’s what happens to your money when you buy a book from Amazon itself: A certain percentage of the cost goes to the publisher. (Amazon’s terms vary from publisher to publisher, but that share is usually around 60 percent.) The publisher uses that money to pay the author, cover its expenses, and contribute to its profit margins. Amazon pockets the remaining 40 percent for its own purposes.
Here’s what happens to your money when you buy a book through Amazon but from a third-party seller: Amazon gets 15 percent of the total sales price, including shipping, plus a flat rate of $1.85 per item. The rest goes to the third-party seller. Not a single cent goes to the publisher, which means nothing goes to the author — but Amazon has made a profit either way, and without having to shoulder the expense of shipping and warehousing.
[h=3]Why aren’t third-party sellers paying publishers?[/h]Amazon’s third-party sellers have to offer new books, not used ones, but in many cases they don’t seem to have bought their books from publishers. No one is quite sure where their books come from, including, it seems, Amazon itself. The industry publication Publishers Lunch reports that Amazon third-party sellers who worry about breaking the rules have reassured one another that they’re not doing anything wrong by citing the fact that Amazon’s guidelines “as always, [say] nothing about provenance, nothing about purchasing through distribution.” It doesn’t matter, in other words, where the books come from, so long as they are new, unmarked, and sold cheaply.
A representative I spoke to from one of the big five publishers theorized that third-party sellers might be selling some of the free promotional copies that publishers routinely send out to critics and bloggers just before a book is published — not the galleys, which are clearly marked “not for resale,” but the free promotional copies of the finished book, which have no such marking on their covers and often end up sold to bookstores like the Strand. Others have suggested that they might be buying books with minor cosmetic damage from warehouses, just damaged enough to be discounted but not so damaged that Amazon stops considering them “new.”
Olivia said:
I'm not sure what you mean because I do purchase from Amazon retailers in addition to Amazon itself. But when a retailer sells a book, they've either purchased the book themselves, either new or used from someone else who that someone else purchased it. Somewhere, somehow, someone already purchased that book meaning it was paid for. When Amazon sells the book directly without a third party retailer, the author gets a cut of the purchase price, just like in a bookstore? Or not? Am I understanding the process correctly or not?
Click to expand...
 
Now I'm confused because when I purchase a book from a Amazon third party, they usually offer both new and used. Sometimes the only way to purchase a particular book is through an Amazon third party. And sometimes they offer expedited shipment which is too expensive through Amazon shipment. I refuse to purchase a Prime membership because I rarely watch a movie on Amazon.
 
Olivia, I'm just as confused as you are, I feel they are not counting my books sold, I don't care about the money, I make good money on my two retirements , plus the other things I do, I changed my book cover one time , not the book contents amazon took my book count down to 0, so I had to start all over again, you want to keep at 200,000 , or below on your book count. I had people bring their book up for me to sign, but amazon would say they never sold the book , and my book count didn't change.
Olivia said:
Now I'm confused because when I purchase a book from a Amazon third party, they usually offer both new and used. Sometimes the only way to purchase a particular book is through an Amazon third party. And sometimes they offer expedited shipment which is too expensive through Amazon shipment. I refuse to purchase a Prime membership because I rarely watch a movie on Amazon.
Click to expand...
 
I have been an Amazon book seller for years. I don't understand what you mean by "Third party." If it is a person (not Amazon) selling a new or used book through Amazon, it is as Olivia said. The seller has already paid for the book, or someone else has. The author already got their royalty, at the beginning. They don't get to collect additional royalties every time the book is resold.
 
Like I said before, I've had people bring up to me to to sign a brand new book , not used , that they purchased direct from Amazon, but my book count didn't change, and I never was paid for these, happen more than once, now stuff like this is going on again.
Sunny said:
I have been an Amazon book seller for years. I don't understand what you mean by "Third party." If it is a person (not Amazon) selling a new or used book through Amazon, it is as Olivia said. The seller has already paid for the book, or someone else has. The author already got their royalty, at the beginning. They don't get to collect additional royalties every time the book is resold.
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