Worried and scared

Colleen said:
Great advice as always, Aunt Bea :) My father died in 1986 and my mother lived alone until she died in 2006. However, I lived in PA for many years and my mother and I were not very close (ever), so I had no clue what was happening during those years after my father died. We took a trip to visit her one summer and she had made a Will and POA through legal services at General Motors, where my dad had worked for 42 years, and left everything to the next door neighbor and her husband. That included the house and everything in it. She had changed her insurance policies and bank accounts also. She called them her "new family". I wasn't even allowed to talk to her doctor about her medical conditions. She had been "taken over" by them and when she died, she didn't even have a decent dress to be buried in. It was borrowed from the neighbor's daughter!. My mother was always dressed "just so" and had beautiful clothes. She died penniless and they got everything. These things happen a lot, unfortunately.
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Colleen said:
Nope. Not me. I worry about it sometimes, but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't expect my step-kids will be in any hurry to help me out if their father pre-deceases me. We tolerate each other because we have to. Maybe I'll be lucky enough to have dementia and won't know or care what's happening to me :(.
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It sounds like your family's sad history is in danger of repeating itself. :(
 

Tara said:
I am a 75 yr old woman retired and I will be moving to senior community soon for independent living. My brother and I shared a home and then he died. He did leave me some money from his 401k. Not enough to last to pay all the bills here.

I am youthful .not in bad health. But I have no family but my ex sister in law and she has her own family. She does help a lot though.

I have a friend who has power of attorney only because she helped me get the bank accounts together. I have no trouble making decisions.

She tells me we should see a lawyer to protect my money. But the lawyer wants a letter of competency from a doctor first.
My worry is that I am not good with the word memory recall test. What happens if I fail that word list recall? I know they look for early onset Alzheimer's? My memory is pretty good but I guess it is not perfect. I am so worried.
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I found this video on YouTube where a doc gives someone a 3 word memory test. I don't think you have anything to worry about.
 
Tara said:
I am a 75 yr old woman retired and I will be moving to senior community soon for independent living. My brother and I shared a home and then he died. He did leave me some money from his 401k. Not enough to last to pay all the bills here.

I am youthful .not in bad health. But I have no family but my ex sister in law and she has her own family. She does help a lot though.

I have a friend who has power of attorney only because she helped me get the bank accounts together. I have no trouble making decisions.

She tells me we should see a lawyer to protect my money. But the lawyer wants a letter of competency from a doctor first.
My worry is that I am not good with the word memory recall test. What happens if I fail that word list recall? I know they look for early onset Alzheimer's? My memory is pretty good but I guess it is not perfect. I am so worried.
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I don't know where you are (and laws can vary by jurisdiction), but I worked for attorneys for 40+ years and I've never heard of such a thing as an attorney asking for anything like a "letter of competency" before seeing a client. I actually find that kind of shocking.

Here, you are presumed competent unless you've been declared incompetent by a court. A judgment of incompetency by a court is not easy, and wouldn't be determined by a person's inability to remember 3 words; it would take much more than that. Assuming you were not previously declared legally incompetent (and your post certainly doesn't sount incompetent to me), powers of attorney are generally revocable by the grantor (which would be you).

I would call another attorney and get better legal advice. See if there is something like a senior citizens' law office in your jurisdiction. Or call an attorney who practices in elder law.
 
Tara said:
I am a 75 yr old woman retired and I will be moving to senior community soon for independent living. My brother and I shared a home and then he died. He did leave me some money from his 401k. Not enough to last to pay all the bills here.

I am youthful .not in bad health. But I have no family but my ex sister in law and she has her own family. She does help a lot though.

I have a friend who has power of attorney only because she helped me get the bank accounts together. I have no trouble making decisions.

She tells me we should see a lawyer to protect my money. But the lawyer wants a letter of competency from a doctor first.
My worry is that I am not good with the word memory recall test. What happens if I fail that word list recall? I know they look for early onset Alzheimer's? My memory is pretty good but I guess it is not perfect. I am so worried.
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One step at a time, Tara. Trust in your friends.
 
Maybe anxiety is causing you to forget things and then your imagination takes over making you even more stressed. I agree with others, trust your friends and get another lawyer. Good luck.
 


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