Would it bother you if your adult child lived far away?

If your adult child lived abroad, how much would it bother you?

  • It would bother me a lot

    Votes: 10 40.0%

  • It would kind of bother me

    Votes: 3 12.0%

  • It would bother me a little

    Votes: 4 16.0%

  • It wouldn't bother me at all

    Votes: 8 32.0%
  • Total voters
    25
  • Poll closed .
F

Felines are superior

New Member
Hi

I'm thinking of living abroad for a few years or permanently, but I worry it would bother my parents. They're healthy and independent, but they're in their eighties.

I have a brother and three nieces who live walking distance from my parents and stay in touch, so they won't be alone. I'm 55 and have no children, so I won't be taking their grandchildren away. Have one sister who lives abroad with my two nephews.

We've never been what you'd call a close family anyway, and if I move, I intend to talk to my parents in video chats once a week.

The question is: if your adult child lived abroad, how much would it bother you? A lot, a little, not at all? What is your opinion?
 

Like other members here I have family members both near and far. Some are self isolated from the core family and are rarely heard from while others suffer from separation anxiety and require daily contact. However each must be handled accordingly as I see fit. I do hope in some small measure of wisdom this advice helped you.

WELCOME TO THE SENIOR FORUM FAMILY.

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My oldest son works several states away. Home on weekends. I see him on grandchildren's birthdays. My youngest lives half-hour away. I see him once a month. I send a text once a day to let him know I'm still alive. It would bother me a little if they lived abroad, but they have their own lives to do with as they choose. I think it's nice that you are concerned about how your parents would feel.
 
My oldest daughter lives away, not another world away, but far enough where our visits are few and far between, and same for a son. Other children are scattered about, some closer than others.

Letting go for the first time was hard for me and I cried a lot. I had to grow into the idea of my babies not being babies anymore, and that life today often takes people farther away from home, because local job opportunities just aren't there like they used to be.

Over the years I have become more accepting of such, but that doesn't go to say that I am entirely happy about it, just that today's world is different than my parents generation, where people were born and raised in a specific town or city, they schooled there, met partners and married there, raised families there, and everyone remained one big happy family.

My generation things started falling apart, and as for today's younger generation, moving to find work is all but a must do situation if one wants to achieve any sort of success and get ahead.
 
My husband & I moved quite a bit and we would always invite my lonely mother to visit us as long as a month! at a time, several times a year. She also had my sibling nearby and saw her family once a week. My heart couldn't bear her loneliness after losing my dad. We all missed him so much. Still do.
 
Aunt Marg said:
I'm not laughing at you this morning, Jon, I'm just having a chuckle at the 2/3's thing... exactly 2/3's to be exact. :giggle:
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It's quite OK to laugh at me, Marg, should the need or desire arise. :)
hollydolly said:
you haven't seen your kids in years ?....:eek:Oh no, I could never cope with that...
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The kids all have separate lives that are now quite different than ours. They pursued careers and became very successful while we're more quiet, down-home folks. One kid keeps trying to get us out to see here fancy home (it's only a room or two short of a mansion) but it's too far to drive and I hate flying commercially. I keep telling her I am proud of what she's accomplished and am interested in her health, happiness and well-being but don't give a crap about her fancy home or life style.
 
JonDouglas said:
It's quite OK to laugh at me, Marg, should the need or desire arise. :)

The kids all have separate lives that are now quite different than ours. They pursued careers and became very successful while we're more quiet, down-home folks. One kid keeps trying to get us out to see here fancy home (it's only a room or two short of a mansion) but it's too far to drive and I hate flying commercially. I keep telling her I am proud of what she's accomplished and am interested in her health, happiness and well-being but don't give a crap about her fancy home or life style.
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I get that , but aren't you even interested in allowing her to give her mum and dad a hug ?
 
Felines are superior said:
Hi

I'm thinking of living abroad for a few years or permanently, but I worry it would bother my parents. They're healthy and independent, but they're in their eighties.

I have a brother and three nieces who live walking distance from my parents and stay in touch, so they won't be alone. I'm 55 and have no children, so I won't be taking their grandchildren away. Have one sister who lives abroad with my two nephews.

We've never been what you'd call a close family anyway, and if I move, I intend to talk to my parents in video chats once a week.

The question is: if your adult child lived abroad, how much would it bother you? A lot, a little, not at all? What is your opinion?
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My adult child moved 2 years ago to Texas, I live in Utah. I have 3 sons who live close to me in Utah. I thought I would die when she moved away. But I didn’t. Does it bother me a lot that, at the age of 47, she moved?

Yes, 😭. Does it still bother me?. Yes. 😂. Do I think you should move? YES.

You have your own life to live-go live it. 😍. I am 74.
 
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Aneeda72 said:
Me neither. My daughter has been gone two years but has come here on vacation twice. I miss her so much.
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exactly.. we already owned a home in Southern Spain, when my dd moved to a different part of Spain.. albeit 6 hours drive from us... but for the last 11 years we've made a point of taking our holidays in Spain deliberately so we could visit her, and she would come here every year for a couple of days most Christmases....

Now she's back home, we can finally take holidays in other parts of the world again.. if ever we're allowed to travel...
 
Aneeda72 said:
My adult child moved 2 years ago to Texas, I live in Utah. I have 3 sons who live close to me in Utah. I thought I would die when she moved away. But I didn’t. Does it bother me a lot that, at the age of 47, she moved?

Yes, 😭. Does it still bother me?. Yes. 😂. Do I think you should move? YES.

You have your own life to live-go live it. 😍. I am 74.
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Aneeda72, thank you so much.
 

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