Would you tell someone they are underdressed?

timoc said:

Would you tell someone they are un dressed?​


Not if she was beautiful and didn't mind me studying her nakedness, I wouldn't ogle, but I wouldn't fall asleep I can tell you. 😊
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She actually is lovely and I think good luck to her :)
 

Years ago, I was called for jury duty. Before Voir dire the judge sent the bailiff to bring a young woman to stand before him. She wore slightly more clothing than a bikini. After a strong lecture about respect, he handed her a huge, hideous mid-calf mumu style dress with high neckline and long floppy sleeves and told her to cover herself. She asked to be allowed to go home and change and he told her if she left she would be held in contempt of court.

It was a high profile trial so the courtroom was packed with reporters and spectators so lots of jokes about Judge Mumu after.
 

helenbacque said:
Years ago, I was called for jury duty. Before Voir dire the judge sent the bailiff to bring a young woman to stand before him. She wore slightly more clothing than a bikini. After a strong lecture about respect, he handed her a huge, hideous mid-calf mumu style dress with high neckline and long floppy sleeves and told her to cover herself. She asked to be allowed to go home and change and he told her if she left she would be held in contempt of court.

It was a high profile trial so the courtroom was packed with reporters and spectators so lots of jokes about Judge Mumu after.
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Your post reminds me of my first job where the contract came with a list of rules which included clothing - no trousers, no halter neck tops, no bare arms or legs, no sandals. The office policy was that female staff wore skirt suits, long sleeved blouses (no low necks), tights and shoes which did not expose your toes!
 
Trish said:
Your post reminds me of my first job where the contract came with a list of rules which included clothing - no trousers, no halter neck tops, no bare arms or legs, no sandals. The office policy was that female staff wore skirt suits, long sleeved blouses (no low necks), tights and shoes which did not expose your toes!
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no trousers, no halter neck tops, no bare arms or legs, no sandals. The office policy was that female staff wore skirt suits, long sleeved blouses (no low necks), tights and shoes which did not expose your toes!

Same rules when I began working. We didn't even go shopping in less. Had something to do with having 'dignity' as I recall.
 
helenbacque said:
no trousers, no halter neck tops, no bare arms or legs, no sandals. The office policy was that female staff wore skirt suits, long sleeved blouses (no low necks), tights and shoes which did not expose your toes!

Same rules when I began working. We didn't even go shopping in less. Had something to do with having 'dignity' as I recall.
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I have to admit it would seem "wrong" to turn up for work in a halter neck top!
 
She was just dressing appropriate for her age. I am a sure that she would welcome being casually informed at a later date it made some of the older folks uncomfortable. In passing, "Some about fell out about your outfit. I think they were jealous." This would let her know it did bother some in the group but not hurt her feelings. I would not want to dress in a way that others uncomfortable or make my group feel embarassed. I would guess she had no clue.
 
Trish said:
I have to admit it would seem "wrong" to turn up for work in a halter neck top!
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in last few assignments/ jobs i had ..... the dress codes took up half a page to read through and sign......... they had to write out so many items of clothing as NOT acceptable....

far too many staff ( usually female ) had the WRONG idea about business casual ....
although some seemed like common sense .... someone wore it and that is why it made the list......
 
Trish said:
Today, I met up with a group of friends who all live locally, we were off to a Jubilee thingy. It may be useful for you to know that the age group is roughly 50's through to 70's and it might, I'm not sure if it does, make a difference if you know that they are mostly ladies and that everyone usually gets on.

To cut to the chase; we have a much younger (late 20's/early 30's) lady who previously caused a bit of controversy when she turned up to a triple 70's birthday party; some of our group refer to her as having been "topless" but, that's not true, she was wearing a top but it just didn't cover very much. Today, the same lady turned up in a pair of very short shorts which also didn't cover much. A couple of the men thought it embarassing but, for the most part, they didn't seem offended. The ladies however were in two camps, some (like me) thought that as it's her bottom, she can do what she wants with it but, some of the ladies thought it was disrepectful.

Fortunately, everyone kept their thoughts to themselves and I don't think it spoilt the day but, later on, some of us did have a conversation about whether it is ever appropriate to criticise someone's choice of clothing (a couple of the ladies were initially going to take the younger lady to one side). I don't think it is ever appropriate but, it surprised me how many thought it was.

I would be interested to know what you think. Would you be offended or not?
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I would not be offended. I would not criticise. I would be please that such a younger person would join the older group and would discreetly try to learn what she is looking for. It may be a chance for the group to have a positive influence on a younger generation. But maybe it's better to just enjoy the company.
 
Blessed said:
She was just dressing appropriate for her age. I am a sure that she would welcome being casually informed at a later date it made some of the older folks uncomfortable. In passing, "Some about fell out about your outfit. I think they were jealous." This would let her know it did bother some in the group but not hurt her feelings. I would not want to dress in a way that others uncomfortable or make my group feel embarassed. I would guess she had no clue.
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You may be right but, I hope that they will just come to accept her for who she is. Fortunately, not everyone was bothered.
 
Jeni said:
in last few assignments/ jobs i had ..... the dress codes took up half a page to read through and sign......... they had to write out so many items of clothing as NOT acceptable....

far too many staff ( usually female ) had the WRONG idea about business casual ....
although some seemed like common sense .... someone wore it and that is why it made the list......
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Actually, when I worked in a very corporate office they decided to have dress-down Fridays for staff who weren't meeting clients that day. One guy walked in wearing cut down shorts and flip flops. He was such a lovely guy that no one wanted to embarass him so one of the guys took him to one side and explained that "office casual" meant chinos, polo shirts and perhaps moccasin style shoes. :)
 
albin said:
I would not be offended. I would not criticise. I would be please that such a younger person would join the older group and would discreetly try to learn what she is looking for. It may be a chance for the group to have a positive influence on a younger generation. But maybe it's better to just enjoy the company.
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She moved to the area just before Covid and works from home so gets lonely and likes to join in. Fortunately, she gets on with most people and our group doesn't usually meet in such numbers so, it shouldn't be a problem. The reaction just surprised me.
 
Trish said:
She moved to the area just before Covid and works from home so gets lonely and likes to join in. Fortunately, she gets on with most people and our group doesn't usually meet in such numbers so, it shouldn't be a problem. The reaction just surprised me.
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Sounds like she enjoys meeting up with your group, and enjoys the company. She's a free-spirit and isn't trying to conform to a dress-code. I think I like her.
 
Trish said:
I really don't think she does it for attention though. It would be funny if she turned the tables and objected to something one of us wear next time :)
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Just the other day I fell for one of those click bait, streams called, "Things that make you look old."
I found out that according to the experts I was doing almost everything wrong:
Wearing loose, baggy clothes.
Wearing tops with sleeves in summer. "Even if your upper arms are flabby, you should "own it."
Wearing tights or pantyhose. "Weird."
Wearing clothes that are matching or color coordinated. "Boring."
Wearing my hair too bouffant. "Straight and silky is the style."
Wearing pink lipstick that matches your clothes. "Weirder."

So maybe this young one is just itching to give everyone else some fashion tips.
Let me know if next event you're all wearing booty shorts and push-up tops.
 
Della said:
Just the other day I fell for one of those click bait, streams called, "Things that make you look old."
I found out that according to the experts I was doing almost everything wrong:
Wearing loose, baggy clothes.
Wearing tops with sleeves in summer. "Even if your upper arms are flabby, you should "own it."
Wearing tights or pantyhose. "Weird."
Wearing clothes that are matching or color coordinated. "Boring."
Wearing my hair too bouffant. "Straight and silky is the style."
Wearing pink lipstick that matches your clothes. "Weirder."

So maybe this young one is just itching to give everyone else some fashion tips.
Let me know if next event you're all wearing booty shorts and push-up tops.
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Booty shorts :ROFLMAO: I
 
I think the important thing is she's a nice girl and you like her company. Even though it might make some in the group uncomfortable, it's her choice how she decides to dress. I wouldn't say anything about it.
 
Trish said:
Today, I met up with a group of friends who all live locally, we were off to a Jubilee thingy. It may be useful for you to know that the age group is roughly 50's through to 70's and it might, I'm not sure if it does, make a difference if you know that they are mostly ladies and that everyone usually gets on.
To cut to the chase; we have a much younger (late 20's/early 30's) lady who previously caused a bit of controversy when she turned up to a triple 70's birthday party; some of our group refer to her as having been "topless" but, that's not true, she was wearing a top but it just didn't cover very much. Today, the same lady turned up in a pair of very short shorts which also didn't cover much. A couple of the men thought it embarassing but, for the most part, they didn't seem offended. The ladies however were in two camps, some (like me) thought that as it's her bottom, she can do what she wants with it but, some of the ladies thought it was disrepectful.

Fortunately, everyone kept their thoughts to themselves and I don't think it spoilt the day but, later on, some of us did have a conversation about whether it is ever appropriate to criticise someone's choice of clothing (a couple of the ladies were initially going to take the younger lady to one side). I don't think it is ever appropriate but, it surprised me how many thought it was.

I would be interested to know what you think. Would you be offended or not?
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You won't mind my saying I think it funny you felt some of the men might have been offended but were not, (possibly secretly delighted I'd have thought nearer the mark!).

As to her dress sense, it is an odd one, because revealing "things" can be good, or fair enough, but go too far maybe, and conclusions, maybe even unfair conclusions, are drawn about the wearer very often! :)
 
grahamg said:
You won't mind my saying I think it funny you felt some of the men might have been offended but were not, (possibly secretly delighted I'd have thought nearer the mark!).

As to her dress sense, it is an odd one, because revealing "things" can be good, or fair enough, but go too far maybe, and conclusions, maybe even unfair conclusions, are drawn about the wearer very often! :)
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I don't mind at all Graham, although I don't think any of the men used the word "offended", a couple did mutter that it was embarrassing. I hope I am not being unfair to the offended ladies though because, they are actually very nice and weren't unpleasant, I think they were genuinely shocked. Actually, your reference to her dress sense is spot on, I think it was the conclusions drawn rather than our younger friend's intention. :)
 
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I would be totally embarrassed, but then again to each their own.
Now if I had a few drinks, I think the sarcasm would have flown. 😁
 

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