Writing is hard

Ina

Ina

Well-known Member
Location
Harris County, NE of Houston, Tx.
I finally got my post printed out. Now I'm sifting through all the post, and putting them in chronological order. It took three reams of papers to print them all out.
The scary part will come when I have to remember all the details, and try to put them down on paper.
I know there are some real writer on the SF board, and I would like to ask how you motivate yourself to write when it gets hard to write the hard or unpleasant memories. :magnify:
 

If you plan on writing every day Ina, try to make your daily goals reachable, based on the realities of each individual day. Don't set yourself up to fail, by pressuring yourself with unrealistic goals. Oh..and make it fun!:) I'm sure Phil will have good advice for you,based on his experience.

“Write Every Day” is Bad Advice: Hacking the Psychology of Big Projects
http://calnewport.com/blog/2013/01/...dvice-hacking-the-psychology-of-big-projects/
 
My plan is too write when the desire taps me on the shoulder. I worry that when I get to the hard memories, just how much should I reveal, I spent my life hiding my story from all people. Even my hubby. Do you tell full truth, and risk shocking them all? My upbring cause me much shame, that I fear their reactions.
 

Ina, that's a very personal decision. You could write the whole truth in your story, then decide who you will let read it. It seems to me that it would be therapeutic to get your story out in the open, after hiding it all of your life. You've been through a lot, and I understand that your upbringing caused you a lot of pain, but remember my friend, none of those things that happened were your fault. You'll have to judge who you can share your private story with, their reactions should not be negative at all, especially if it's someone who really loves you. :love_heart:
 
Ina, I would caution you to be sure you are really ready to put this all down on paper, reason I say this is because, when you think on traumatic experiences, sporadically, sometimes it isn't so overwhelming, but when you actually have to face it, look it over and read it and realize that all those things are things that were done to you, unless you've had someone to help you through the process, it can take you places you aren't prepared for. I'm not saying this will for sure happen in your case, but some 20 years ago, I decided to put a big chunk of experiences down in print and I can't begin to tell you how far down in a whole it sunk me when I realized the magnitude of what occurred by the numbers once written down. You may be ready, I don't know, but, I am just letting you know, sometimes we aren't and need some guidance when we get to that stage.

I don't know your past experiences, but, please proceed with great caution. As far as what you share with others know thyself and whether you are able to move forward in life with or without being negatively judged. Least of your concerns should be what others will think, you need to make sure you are ready to face all your truths and be stronger for having let it out of your system any way that helps you grow stronger within. If writing it all down helps to heal your soul, put pen to paper with gusto. :)
 
Thank you ApirlT, I know that writing it all out has it's danger, but the older I get the more it is interfering with my mental state. Michael feel it would help him, and other family members to understand why I am the way I am. I have two Dr.'s that are pushing me to get counseling. I went one time and realize I wasn't the type to tell complete strangers what happened to me. But I find writing on this forum has helped to pull me out of the worst depression I ever felt.
 
Wise advice from April, I agree you have to be careful. Ina, is it a certain age that you'll start to write about and go from there, year by year? Just curious on how you will approach and organize your writings.
 
Ina said:
Thank you ApirlT, I know that writing it all out has it's danger, but the older I get the more it is interfering with my mental state. Michael feel it would help him, and other family members to understand why I am the way I am. I have two Dr.'s that are pushing me to get counseling. I went one time and realize I wasn't the type to tell complete strangers what happened to me. But I find writing on this forum has helped to pull me out of the worst depression I ever felt.
Click to expand...

You're welcome. I wish you the best with your journey.
 
Ina, I dabble in writing and have a blog with all my writing on it........... including a journal which I am trying to bring up to date?. A real life journal of events is quite draining, because as you said, just how much do you put in it?, will it upset some folk? ........but I thought along the lines of if I am going to do it, I may as well do it properly.

The beauty of a blog site ( I use the google blogger site) is that you can load it all up with your writing and add to it as and when you want to.......... then decide if you want to publish it. So far only a handful of people have been given the link to my site and I have had some positive comments............ when the journal is finished ( or up to the present time) I will publish the link.

I write when I feel like it, sometimes not for weeks or months..........other times 7 days a week lol! It is a mood thing I think............ I do pity professional writers who have to write so many words a day to meet certain targets.............. anyway, good luck with your writing.
 
I started my autobiography a few years ago, entitled 'My Guardian Angel is on Prozac'. It takes discipline to sit down and write, which I don't always employ! I reckon it will be my kids that write the final chapter, when I have finally killed myself off doing something even crazier than usual!:D
 
Ina said:
I finally got my post printed out. Now I'm sifting through all the post, and putting them in chronological order. It took three reams of papers to print them all out.
The scary part will come when I have to remember all the details, and try to put them down on paper.
I know there are some real writer on the SF board, and I would like to ask how you motivate yourself to write when it gets hard to write the hard or unpleasant memories. :magnify:
Click to expand...


From what I gather from reading your post, you will be writing your memoirs? Is this correct? If so, I did the same thing a few years after I had retired. I used an outline that I found helpful on the internet. I looked for it and that particular outline is now gone, but I did find this one...http://www.writersdigest.com/writin...prove-my-writing/elements-of-an-effective-arc

When I was at the airline, I went through some psychological evaluations and after the session was over, I spoke candidly with the doctor, "off the record", and I had told him that I was going to be writing my memoirs as a pilot for when I was deceased, so my children would have some fascinating reading, or at least I hoped that they would. I also wanted to include my auto biography, or at least parts of it, as well. I asked him what you are asking, "How much of my life should I share?" His suggestion was for me to pretend that my daughter and son were sitting in front of me and talk to them as I normally would and tell then the things that I would want them to know. He also suggested that I tell them only what I felt safe with telling them. I asked what does that mean? He said that there may be things in my life that I may not want them or anyone else to know, so omit those parts. For example; if I was ever arrested and put in jail for a period of time, I may not want to share that. (You get the idea.) Also, keep in mind that it is always OK to have your privacy, however, in a marriage there should never be any secrets. Big difference.

As for motivation, once I got my notes in order via a timeline or whatever method you choose, I was able to start. Of course, like writing a book, it is always best to start at the beginning with personal information like, how and when your life all began and then go from there. In any event, once I got started, the rest came easy. I couldn't type fast enough as all of my thoughts were quickly rushing through my head. It really became a fun thing to do, although some parts of my life weren't fun, the writing was. After it was all over and done, I went through and edited it for clarity. I also deleted or added information as I felt necessary to do so.

I think although you may find some of the issues in your life difficult to write about, in the end, you will feel good about what you have done and maybe even find skills and a talent that you never knew existed in your mind.

Good Luck!!
 
Ina, I've been writing about my life the past few years. I keep a file on my computer just for me and write when I'm in the mood. I've written the good and the bad and it's helped to see it on paper and gets it out of my system. I don't think sharing my past with others will be beneficial but writing about my life just for me has helped get past the troubled parts of my life.
 
Ina; you know what we think; you are doing splendidly!

Only you know what you want to write, and what you wish to leave out; see how it feels thinking about it, and go from there.

Don't do all the horrid bits at once either...do some happy bits in between, and then Michael and you can grin together..
 
I agree with Vivjen, Ina.

It's your project and you should undertake it whichever way works best for you.
Do, or not do. There is no try ***.
The choice is yours each day.
You are your own master here.
It is you who is in the driving seat, it is you in the saddle.
Chart your own course and change course if you need to.
Get lost now and then, and find your way back again using your own sense of direction and your own instincts.
Good luck (and may The Force be with you).

*** Words of wisdom from Yoda to young Luke Skywalker.
 
I think that there is no reason that you can't put into the memoirs, the things that you are comfortable with sharing about your life, and don't put in anything that you don't want to.
Then, there are things that you would want Michael to know; but not necessarily anyone else. Dont put those in the book; but maybe write them out just for your husband to read.
The last group would be the things that you need to face to feel better; but don't want to talk to anyone about, at least not right now.
Put those down on paper just for yourself to read, and come to an internal resolution about.
Then, if you feel okay about sharing it with Michael, you can do it from a much better perspective.

I don't know if this is right for you; but this is how I would go about it, if I were doing this.
I think that working on it as things come to you is a good way to do it also. Some days, it might be good times from your past; some days things that are still causing the pain in your heart.
Those things are the ones that we usually keep stuffed away so that we don't relive the pain of them; but the pain is like a sliver embedded in our skin; it can't heal properly until it does come out.
Start with the less painful things first, and then proceed at your own pace, as things come to you to be remembered and dealt with.
 
Don't start it in order, then....start off with a couple of nice bits; how you met Michael; when you married.....you can do this!
 
Don't agree......you have to get through the bad memories and the tears........... if you want to omit stuff then it won't be a truthful journal, get it written in chapters, then edit it and post it when you are ready........... whichever readers you allow in, will pick up on missing vibes..?

Write it first......then decide if you want to publish........ don't write it with a view to publishing.......................??
 
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