Yes - familiarity does (almost) breed contempt.

M

Margs

New Member
A recent "new recruit" at my current care home will insist on addressing me thus: "Hello Peggy. And. How. Are. We. Today?"
It drives me nuts, although it's just a simple thing, but I have never in all my life been called Peggy (which I believe is a variation of the name Margaret), I am far from deaf and still manage to retain full control of most of my marbles.
I imagine she obtained her 'expertise' in dealing with the elderly from a handbook called "The Standard Textbook Approach When Coping With Old Biddies."
I do hope I'm wrong - maybe!
Rant over, and Thank You.
 

Whoa! Make it known in no uncertain terms that 1. You are not hard of hearing. 2. You don't appreciate being called by somebody else's version of your name.

I'd have called her out on that right then and there. "There is no need to shout. My name is_________."

There's a limit to familiarity. That's way beyond the limit. If she'd had good sense, she'd have asked you what name you prefer.
 
Georgiagranny said:
Whoa! Make it known in no uncertain terms that 1. You are not hard of hearing. 2. You don't appreciate being called by somebody else's version of your name.

I'd have called her out on that right then and there. "There is no need to shout. My name is_________."

There's a limit to familiarity. That's way beyond the limit. If she'd had good sense, she'd have asked you what name you prefer.
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Well she is brand new,so to speak, and very young (19) so I suppose I must give her some leeway.
But to be honest I was quite non-plussed at being called 'Peggy' as opposed to my usual name, and by the time I'd concocted an appropriate response she was long gone down the stairs - it's always the way, isn't it?
 

I also don't appreciate the "we" in the phrase such as "how are we doing today?" I am not part of their we and it feels like they are talking down to me when using it.

New or not, I would set them straight on which name you want to be addressed as. Otherwise everyone will soon be using it.
 
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Margs said:
A recent "new recruit" at my current care home will insist on addressing me thus: "Hello Peggy. And. How. Are. We. Today?"
It drives me nuts, although it's just a simple thing, but I have never in all my life been called Peggy (which I believe is a variation of the name Margaret), I am far from deaf and still manage to retain full control of most of my marbles.
I imagine she obtained her 'expertise' in dealing with the elderly from a handbook called "The Standard Textbook Approach When Coping With Old Biddies."
I do hope I'm wrong - maybe!
Rant over, and Thank You.
Click to expand...
Take Georgiagranny's advice, it works. Our electric utility supplier, Southern Electric, was bought out and now we have a company called OVO. All their correspondence starts with: "Hello Robert." It so annoys me. Later I had a very patronising letter giving me, "good news."
The good news being that I was fifty-four pounds in credit. I sent them a letter, not an email, nor a text but an old fashioned letter and I gave them both barrels of my metaphoric shotgun.

Telling them my surname and expecting to see all future correspondence addressed as Dear Mr. ------- Then we got to the good news. I asked them the question: "Would it be good news if my £54 credit was £54 debit?" Answering my own question I said: "I think not, in fact the demand would probably be in red ink." Continuing, I added: "So it's party time when you owe me money, but if it's a role reversal, I would be subject to threats of my electricity supply being cut off. They sent a most grovelling apology, addressed to: "Dear Mr. ------. So you see it works, and I will refrain from calling you by name until you invite me to do so. Call me Robert by all means.
 
Margs said:
I am far from deaf
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At work one day years ago at the shipping company we had a new Supervisor, so I told my work buddy that he was very hard of hearing and that he had to speak very loud around him.

So my co-worker goes up to him later in the shift and yells, "I HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT THIS PARCEL!! CAN YOU HELP ME??!!!"

The new Supervisor makes this disgusted face and says, "What the hell is the matter with you!? My hearing is fine!"

LOL!!!

It was a great gag! And oh, boy my friend was pissed! lol!
 
Margs said:
I have never in all my life been called Peggy (which I believe is a variation of the name Margaret)
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I love the name Margaret so much, I gave the same name to my first born daughter. But we've always just called her Maggie. Hon and I gave the girls timeless old-fashioned names. Everyone was giving their kids wacky names like Apple and Astro and Precious...etc. So we decided to go old school and my girls tell me they love their names, so it all worked out. :)
 
Good morning, Margaret, and welcome to the forum! 🌷 I agree with the others that correcting her about your name would be something that needs to be done without question. Wonder how a 19 year old even knows that Peggy was a common nickname for Margaret a long time ago?

About the "how are we today"... I'd be tempted to answer "I. Am. Just. Fine. But. I'm. A. Senior. Citizen, Not. Slow." But if it's a caregiver I suppose I'd have to keep the snark under control. 😊
 
Margs said:
A recent "new recruit" at my current care home will insist on addressing me thus: "Hello Peggy. And. How. Are. We. Today?"
It drives me nuts, although it's just a simple thing, but I have never in all my life been called Peggy (which I believe is a variation of the name Margaret), I am far from deaf and still manage to retain full control of most of my marbles.
I imagine she obtained her 'expertise' in dealing with the elderly from a handbook called "The Standard Textbook Approach When Coping With Old Biddies."
I do hope I'm wrong - maybe!
Rant over, and Thank You.
Click to expand...
When the carer next approaches you with, "Good morning, Peggy, how are we?"

Answer her like this, "Good morning Nellie, how is the sore belly?"

The carer will likely say, "My name is not, Nellie."

Then you come back with, "Oh we are a pair of softies aren't we, my name is not, Peggy, either, it is Margaret, oh, and you keep asking how 'we' are when there is just me here, you had best give me your real name, so that I won't confuse you with, Nellie."
 
I just noticed this is under the Header 'Introductions'.

Welcome to the forum Peggy! I'm sure we will have a great time together!

(Am Jest Keeding!!) :)

Welcome to the forum Margaret! (y)
 
CallMeKate said:
Good morning, Margaret, and welcome to the forum! 🌷 I agree with the others that correcting her about your name would be something that needs to be done without question. Wonder how a 19 year old even knows that Peggy was a common nickname for Margaret a long time ago?
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I was wondering the same thing. Margaret is a very popular name in my family, and even my 46 year old daughter wouldn't know that Peggy was a variation of it.. :unsure:

Anyway, welcome to the forum it's a good thing you don't mind having your name shortened completely , or we wouldn't be calling you Margs... :D

welcome-London-Big-ben.webp
 
An old friend of mine was a dead ringer for Ronnie Corbett and did not like being Ronnie. Most people in the pub realised this but one rather skinny woman would make a big thing about saying, "Alright Ronnie" in a loud voice. He stopped her from doing this by replying, "Very well thank you Olive Oyl"!
 
Hi, Margs, welcome! :)

Weathered Welcome Sign With Red Flowers Hanging On Old Wood Door Stock ...

Isn't getting old fun? I don't like being addressed as "we" either. My response is, "I don't know how we are because I'm not you, but I'm fine." Just tell her nicely, "I don't like being called Peggy, please call me Margs." If she insists on calling you Peggy, every time she does, remind her that you don't like being called Peggy and find something else to call her besides her name, such as "Hello, Nurse Who Can't Remember My Name." 😄

Bella✌️
 
My suggestion would be...when no one else is around or when you can find a private moment. Tell her you appreciate her greeting you and her enthusiasm. "Can I ask that you call me ______? I have never been called Peggy. I know you just didn't know. Its okay, just call me _____ from now on.". Then go on to have a friendly chat. Right now finding staff is difficult all over. You'll want to create a positive relationship with her. It will make both of your lives better.
 
Welcome to the forum.

When I was in the military, I would tell the men under my command to speak up and say what you mean. If you have an issue with the way this woman is addressing you, tell her. You can be diplomatic about it, so as not to come across as being unfriendly, but unless you address it, this may never change.
 
Ever see "Bewitched" where Endora called her Son-in-law Darrin anything BUT his name?
My first marriage: My Mother -in-law called me every name she could think of EXCEPT my real name.
I didn't talk back to her so this lasted 14 years!

Listen to @Been There! "unless you address it, it will never change!"

My Grandma had a nurse like that in the hospital when she as a hundred years old.
Her nurse would say "WE" instead of "YOU", and only speak in a rehearsed way to her.
My Grandma threw a bedpan at her!
 
Gaer said:
My Grandma had a nurse like that in the hospital when she as a hundred years old.
Her nurse would say "WE" instead of "YOU", and only speak in a rehearsed way to her.
My Grandma threw a bedpan at her!
Click to expand...
I'll bet that pissed her off. ;)😊
 
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Margs said:
A recent "new recruit" at my current care home will insist on addressing me thus: "Hello Peggy. And. How. Are. We. Today?"
It drives me nuts, although it's just a simple thing, but I have never in all my life been called Peggy (which I believe is a variation of the name Margaret), I am far from deaf and still manage to retain full control of most of my marbles.
I imagine she obtained her 'expertise' in dealing with the elderly from a handbook called "The Standard Textbook Approach When Coping With Old Biddies."
I do hope I'm wrong - maybe!
Rant over, and Thank You.
Click to expand...
Welcome to the group. Enjoy your stay
Us-wavan.gif
 

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