Yesterday At the Grocery Store

Been There

Been There

Well-known Member
Location
Florida
I needed to get a few things for my Christmas dinner and then while shopping, I decided that I was going to again volunteer to work at the local soup kitchen helping to feed the homeless and other people that can't afford to buy food for a Christmas dinner. When we are done serving everyone that comes in, the volunteers get to eat. What else do I have to do. My niece invited me to her house, but she lives in San Jose and I wasn't in a mood for traveling. Besides, she invites like 10 of her friends to the dinner. Nice people, but we have very little in common to talk about.

While walking through the produce section, a lady walked up to me and excused herself and asked if I knew how to tell a ripe cantaloupe from one that isn't. I told her how I do it and did it for her. While I was testing the lope, she started talking about all the work she had to do to get ready to serve her meal and "to just imagine, I have to eat alone." I took that as a hint and told her that was a shame to be alone on Christmas Day, but try to make the best of it. I knew she was baiting me, but I didn't bite on the hook. This has happened to me before and I did take the bait once and told myself "no more grocery store dates."

She seemed very nice, but just a bit off. Maybe she was going to be alone for the first time at Christmas or some other reason that I didn't pick up on, but I'm not feeling any guilt for not biting. Should I have asked her to my place for dinner or taken a pass like I did? These things bother me and I always end up feeling some remorse for not taking other people's emotions into consideration. Looking back now, I think maybe I should have taken the bait, but I am conflicted about doing this. I always worry about being set up.
 

Maybe not a good idea to invite a stranger into your home Been There but perhaps you could’ve suggested she come along to help at the Soup Kitchen ? That way she would not be spending Christmas alone, and you would get to know each other a little more

Well done for volunteering and a Happy Christmas ! 🎅🤶
 

Hey...I've been watching Criminal Minds. Definitely wouldn't have invited her to my home. You did the right thing. And why did she have to do all this preparation to "serve her meal" if she was going to be alone at Christmas? Something doesn't add up. It's nice of you to volunteer to help serve those in need during Christmas.
 
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Been There said:
.....she started talking about all the work she had to do to get ready to serve her meal and "to just imagine, I have to eat alone." I took that as a hint and told her that was a shame to be alone on Christmas Day, but try to make the best of it. I knew she was baiting me, but I didn't bite on the hook. This has happened to me before and I did take the bait once and told myself "no more grocery store dates."...She seemed very nice, but just a bit off...Should I have asked her to my place for dinner or taken a pass like I did?...Looking back now, I think maybe I should have taken the bait, but I am conflicted about doing this. I always worry about being set up.
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Trust your instincts as I made bold in your quote...and never look back.
It's maybe okay to invite a stranger to dinner if your entire family is also present and your instincts are positive...but never alone.
 
Like I said, she seemed a bit off, but harmless. I have a soft heart for people that seems to be needy. What bothered me most was that she was/is a very attractive woman with a nice shape and took care of herself as far as her hair, makeup and being well-dressed. All totaled, this confused me as to why such a woman would be alone at Christmas. It wasn’t that I was suspicious of anything, but confused would be a better word. I’m not one to intrude into a person’s life, like some men will ask, “Why is a beautiful woman like you all alone at Christmas?” Asking that question can start a long drawn out conversation and is really none of my business having just met her.

I will admit, I was interested and she smelled so nice. I don’t know what perfume or cologne she was wearing, but it was very sensual. Was she setting a trap? I didn’t think so at 3:30 in the afternoon.
 
Been There said:
Like I said, she seemed a bit off, but harmless. I have a soft heart for people that seems to be needy. What bothered me most was that she was/is a very attractive woman with a nice shape and took care of herself as far as her hair, makeup and being well-dressed. All totaled, this confused me as to why such a woman would be alone at Christmas. It wasn’t that I was suspicious of anything, but confused would be a better word. I’m not one to intrude into a person’s life, like some men will ask, “Why is a beautiful woman like you all alone at Christmas?” Asking that question can start a long drawn out conversation and is really none of my business having just met her.

I will admit, I was interested and she smelled so nice. I don’t know what perfume or cologne she was wearing, but it was very sensual. Was she setting a trap? I didn’t think so at 3:30 in the afternoon.
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Perhaps you will meet again. 😊
 
Shalimar said:
Perhaps you will meet again. 😊
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Shalimar: I was hoping you could make some sense of this. Do you think she was on the hunt, or what I have heard some women called “a cougar?” Like I said, I was confused. I have been approached before, but not at 3:30 in the afternoon in a grocery store asking me how can I tell if a cantaloupe is ripe. The way she was dressed and her overall appearance, didn’t make her look like a typical grocery shopper.
 
Been There said:
Shalimar: I was hoping you could make some sense of this. Do you think she was on the hunt, or what I have heard some women called “a cougar?” Like I said, I was confused. I have been approached before, but not at 3:30 in the afternoon in a grocery store asking me how can I tell if a cantaloupe is ripe. The way she was dressed and her overall appearance, didn’t make her look like a typical grocery shopper.
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Hmm, BeenThere, I rather doubt it. A woman who presented herself in that fashion is unlikely to have difficulty attracting men. She may have liked your appearance. I suspect you still carry that undefinable air of command. She may have also instinctively felt you were trustworthy, and was

confident enough to open a conversation. Perhaps she is a person of high standards, just as you are. As for typical grocery shoppers, I have found they come in all forms, from scruffy to

immaculate. I think she may have paid you the compliment of being a gentleman, someone she might enjoy having a further conversation with, a cup of coffee..? There are many reasons why she may be alone for Xmas. Most of them innocuous.
 
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yes . understand how you feel " been there"....wondering ," should I , or" should i not ....
then feeling bad about the whole situation..
but i think you did the right thing , so your conscience is clear....
not many would even think twice about your situation, ... ...but if your anything like me , you worry , and will keep worry about it LOL
 
I would not be suspicious because an attractive woman was going to be alone on a holiday. I am sure she has a story like all of us who are going to be alone also. Maybe you will meet her again and can strike up a conversation with her. Then if you like her, a friendship first. But do not feel guilty that you declined this time. Safety first. Get to know anyone before being alone with them.
 
You did the right thing. Have no guilt. She will have to find her own way. It can be hard if people are divorced or widowed and are adjusting. You said she seemed a bit odd. I'm not trusting at all so I'm in the no way camp.
 
katlupe said:
Then if you like her, a friendship first. But do not feel guilty that you declined this time. Safety first. Get to know anyone before being alone with them.
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Especially in your home. A coffee date in public would be appropriate. Never let a stranger know where you live, and certainly not bring them inside. Lots of crazies running around. And the really crazy ones know how to appear normal. You might have been targeted.
 
I asked a man I didn't know for help yesterday in the grocery store to get me a jar of spaghetti sauce off the top shelf. He wasn't a bad looking man to be shopping by himself. Should I also have asked him to come to my house for spaghetti? I am also feeling bad now.
 
@NorthernLight. Compared to most of the men doing their shopping alone in Walmart, he looked and smelled pretty clean, he was also well dressed, and seemed thrilled that he could help. I've been mentioning in my prayers lately that I'd like to meet a nice man. Maybe I missed my opportunity. :rolleyes:
 
Judycat said:
@NorthernLight. Compared to most of the men doing their shopping alone in Walmart, he looked and smelled pretty clean, he was also well dressed, and seemed thrilled that he could help. I've been mentioning in my prayers lately that I'd like to meet a nice man. Maybe I missed my opportunity. :rolleyes:
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Well, you did meet one. Maybe your prayers might be more specific ....
 
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