You are Not the Father

[StarSong]

I wouldn't count on abortion having a big effect on it one way or another. Abortions were not legal in the 1940's when the unwed birth rate was 3%. We all thought that when birth control became widely available in the late 1960's the unmarried birth rate would become almost zero and instead it rose dramatically. If women would actually use the methods available we would barely need abortions at all.

The 1940s were before the se*ual revolution, and back alley abortions were unsafe, but certainly obtainable. In 2020, over 620,000 abortions were performed in the US. So yes, curtailing access to abortions will definitely add people to social services rolls.
Abortion Surveillance — United States, 2020

People married very young (often to poor matches) in the 1940s because it was the only acceptable means of satisfying roaring hormones. My own parents married at 20, as did nearly all their friends.

p.s. It's not just women who are responsible for birth control. We're just the ones left holding the bag.

 

[Della]

The 1940s were before the se*ual revolution, and back alley abortions were unsafe, but certainly obtainable. In 2020, over 620,000 abortions were performed in the US. So yes, curtailing access to abortions will definitely add people to social services rolls.
Abortion Surveillance — United States, 2020

People married very young (often to poor matches) in the 1940s because it was the only acceptable means of satisfying roaring hormones. My own parents married at 20, as did nearly all their friends.

p.s. It's not just women who are responsible for birth control. We're just the ones left holding the bag.

Which is why I don't think women should ever let the man handle the birth control. She's the one who will get pregnant if it fails, the one who decides whether or not to get an abortion and usually whether or not to give the baby up for adoption, and if single she's most likely to be the one who will raise the child.

Not to mention that women have many forms of birth control to choose from, things that can be seen to in the sober light of day, some types that only require a doctor's visit once every few years. Men have one choice which needs to be used at the last minute, quite possibly when not thinking clearly.

(I was married at 20 and several of my classmates were already married.)

 

[Pepper]

p.s. It's not just women who are responsible for birth control. We're just the ones left holding the bag.

Unless it is a committed relationship I completely DISagree. It is Our Bodies, so as women, our Complete Responsibility. I was taught that early and it is especially the female guardian's role to fully explain Reality.

 

[StarSong]

Unless it is a committed relationship I completely DISagree. It is Our Bodies, so as women, our Complete Responsibility. I was taught that early and it is especially the female guardian's role to fully explain Reality.

Starting way before they had BFs or GFs, I cautioned my sons as well as my daughter early and often that when they became sexually active - which was best delayed until college - that they needed to use TWO kinds of birth control. Otherwise they'd be risking an unplanned pregnancy and derailment of a life plan of footloose and fancy free late teens and twenties.

Going to the beach? You'll be packing a stroller instead of a surfboard. I told them nearly every married couple I knew had at least one oopsie baby, even using birth control.

They followed my advice. All waited until college, all took adequate precautions, and to the best of my knowledge there were no unplanned pregnancies. There certainly were no babies.

Some kids at their high school had to drop out because of unplanned pregnancies. The fathers and their families were as traumatized and disrupted as the mothers' so my kids saw it happen.

 

[StarSong]

(I was married at 20 and several of my classmates were already married.)

I wonder how many of those marriages ended up in divorce. Very few people I know who married before their mid-twenties felt they chose the right partners. Most divorced. Some stuck it out but I wouldn't characterize their marriages as happy.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

The high percentage of "not the fathers" surprises me. It makes me think that in some cases, the men know and love the woman enough that they stay with or marry her anyway. And of course in other cases some clandestine sh*t happened.

 

[caramel]

it is estimated 11% of all births if tested, would reveal the "father" was not actually, the father.

According to this article, this statistic is not true. The statistic of births where the father of record is not the father is closer to 1% or maybe less.

Swinburne University sociologist Michael Gilding, who also appears in the SBS program, has thoroughly researched the origins of the popular belief that 10% to 30% of paternities are misattributed.

He traced the source of the high estimate – 30% – to the transcript of a symposium held in 1972 in which British gynaecologist and obstetrician Dr Elliot Philipp mentioned an estimate from a small sample of parents.

Many reasons for the misattribution, mostly grabbing headlines and creating false impressions. For instance, that myth about a large percentage of women having sex with multiple men creating doubt about who the father is, is another myth. A study shows that only 2% of women were doing this.

These results marry comfortably with DNA estimates of misattributed paternity from samples that cross a broad range of societies which suggest the rate is between 1% and 3%, and with Prof Gilding’s estimate of between 0.7% and 2%.

The number of children whose biological father isn’t their social dad is probably far smaller than you’ve been led to believe, although the 30% figure seems to be a zombie-statistic that refuses to die.

Given that the high statistic of fathers on record not being the real father is fake, there's no reason at all to mandate something for everyone that only affects 1% of the population.

What are the chances that your dad isn’t your father?

 

[OneEyedDiva]

According to this article, this statistic is not true. The statistic of births where the father of record is not the father is closer to 1% or maybe less.


Many reasons for the misattribution, mostly grabbing headlines and creating false impressions. For instance, that myth about a large percentage of women having sex with multiple men creating doubt about who the father is, is another myth. A study shows that only 2% of women were doing this.


Given that the high statistic of fathers on record not being the real father is fake, there's no reason at all to mandate something for everyone that only affects 1% of the population.

What are the chances that your dad isn’t your father?

Interesting article Caramel. I would hope it is true that the percentage of "not the fathers" is a lot less than the figure presented in the OP.

 

[OneEyedDiva]

 

[StarSong]

Thank you for doing that research, @caramel. 11% sounded crazy high to me but I didn't think to check the numbers.