You ever get lonely? I mean bone tired lonely. No one to talk to .

dilettante said:
Considering the growing number of older people, the fact that we're all stinkin' rich (LMAO), and so much retail and entertainment space going empty... why isn't there a successful "Geezerplex" franchise with locations popping up all over?

I could see cafes, small lecture/presentation rooms, small exhibitor halls for hobby club rental, fountains surrounded by seating, indoor gardens, walking track with a mid, slow, and slower lane, a space for kiosks peddling light goods and services (watches, reading glasses, hearing aids, cellphones, etc.)...
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Great, and would be lovely, but this kind of thing depends on a society arranged around satisfying people's real needs, not just making a buck!
 
I do get lonely, and it always surprises me, bc I have always loved being alone. When I was raising my kids I was desperate to be alone, and it's probably the real reason I got divorced--every other weekend they went to their father's and I got to be alone. IMO it gets harder to make and keep friends as we age, for a variety of reasons. I only have one friend locally, but a lot more back in NY.
 

I am an introvert too. I was going to say I don't get lonely, however, I do miss family around the holidays sometimes. I don't think it is the idea of having specific people around, but the idea of no longer having the happy family I thought I had. It is not the quantity, but the quality of relationships that I miss.
 
Victor said:
It is human nature. Older people already have settled families,relatives,some close friends and old habits. Most don't need or want more friends,unless they lack interesting conversation, or someone is useful to them. Young people are still seeking a family and friends,usually.
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I am one of those older people, but without family, relatives, or close friends. I could surely use some new friends and there are others in similar situations.
 
Victor said:
Older people already have settled families,relatives,some close friends and old habits. Most don't need or want more friends,unless they lack interesting conversation, or someone is useful to them.
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Boy, isn't that the truth. I don't know about old men but most old women in my age group seem to only want to talk about their grandkids. I think it's great that they are kindly interested in their grandkids--I wish I'd had grandmothers that were--but they truly never seem to be interested in anything else.

I've even tried bringing stuff up that you'd think they'd be interested in, for example, an article saying that the elderly who have grandchildren are healthier and happy, right up their alley you'd think, right? Nope, they stare blankly 'till you quit talking and then jump in with something like, "Well, anyway, my grandkids are bla bla bla." The few times I've managed to be in the presence of elderly women who've never had kids--usually career women--I've had interesting conversations with them but am not able to be around people like that.

The few senior activities they had around here got shut down with Covid and I keep hearing that they're trying to bring them back, but there were never any childless women at any of those activities anyway; elderly, childless career women don't seem to need stuff like that; they're always traveling off somewhere to visit friends they made in college.
 
Those older seniors in less urban areas face fewer opportunities to socialize with others than those living in core urban areas as this person does. I have many potential social choices. Below is not quite on topic but an example of really being alone.

All my adult life, I've summer wilderness overnight backpacked into remote places. Some of those places have been very remote without any other humans for at least a few miles distance. At times, that has bothered me, more so when younger. I'd be out in some remote scenic basin and feel that empty, individual helpless, vulnerable, sense of remoteness, especially at night when our human minds looking out on moonless nights into the vast dark starry universe, tend to be most prone to imagining all manner of uneasy weirdness. Not helping the insomnia situation was the awareness that bears were sometimes about. After much of a week being alone in such places, I do tend to feel a growing desire to be around human others.
 
officerripley said:
Boy, isn't that the truth. I don't know about old men but most old women in my age group seem to only want to talk about their grandkids. I think it's great that they are kindly interested in their grandkids--I wish I'd had grandmothers that were--but they truly never seem to be interested in anything else.

I've even tried bringing stuff up that you'd think they'd be interested in, for example, an article saying that the elderly who have grandchildren are healthier and happy, right up their alley you'd think, right? Nope, they stare blankly 'till you quit talking and then jump in with something like, "Well, anyway, my grandkids are bla bla bla." The few times I've managed to be in the presence of elderly women who've never had kids--usually career women--I've had interesting conversations with them but am not able to be around people like that.

The few senior activities they had around here got shut down with Covid and I keep hearing that they're trying to bring them back, but there were never any childless women at any of those activities anyway; elderly, childless career women don't seem to need stuff like that; they're always traveling off somewhere to visit friends they made in college.
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I absolutely agree. There's nothing more boring IMO than grandparents droning on about their grandkids to people who don't have grandchildren... we're not interested.. if you're proud of them good for you, tell it to other grandparents...

It's like someone talking endlessly about their pets to people who don't have any..or husbands taking about their wives to their bachelor friends... or wives chattering on about their husbands to their single girlfriends... Yawnsville.!
 
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This discussion just now reminded me of a book or article I read a few months back (don't remember its title) about loneliness amongst the elderly and how important social connections are, etc., and the author (a woman) said something like, "Look no one realizes how important families are or loves their kids and grandkids more than I do, but a good thing to keep in mind for seniors who are trying to socialize is: almost no one cares about any grandkids other than their own."
 
hollydolly said:
I absolutely agree. There's nothing more boring IMO than grandparents droning on about their grandkids to people who don't have grandchildren... we're not interested.. if you're proud of them good for you, tell it to other grandparents...

It's like someone talking endlessly about their pets to people who don't have any..or husbands taking about their wives to their bachelor friends... or wives chattering on abouth their husbands to their single girlfriends... Yawnsville.!
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Or sports fans who can only talk about sports...... even when you tell them you didn't watch the game.....or any games.
 
I've seen some things spring up in small towns in the years, first before, and now after the pandemic. Trendy crystal and geology shops, small antique stores, railroad museums, farming museums, and some have 2nd-hand shops and antique stores predating that.

They don't seem to be doing as well as they could, probably the times. But if they had a weekly "senior day" perhaps momentum would build. This could increase business as well as providing meet and greet venues. Most seem to be on semi-rural senior jitney routes already.

But that seems to be a "pump" that needs lots of priming.
 
I was never alone in my life until my last wife left me and we divorced before my surgery. That will be two years in October. Before I was ALWAYS in a relationship or still at home going to school. So I was with a woman from the age of 18 till 68. So as far as that goes I am alone. I still talk to my 1st an 2nd wife. I had two kids with each one. We get along great. Both look out for me. My incontinence has taken me out of the world in too many ways. I hate it.

I have people I talk to on the phone and see sometimes. But there is much alone time even with two children here. It's not the same. I am close to a few people but sadly two of them are in horrible health and miserable. My closest friend and my brother. If I could just go anywhere and work in my yard without this bladder problem I would be much happier. And would go fishing with two different friends that want me to go. I talk to myself at times. I get it. If the OP wants to talk to someone I can talk your ears off. I have actually talked to another guy on my old political forum. I think he was lonely.

One thing I have learned the last few years is older people (guilty as charged) like to talk. But I have always had that inclination. Someone said this is a good place to sort of talk. I agree....
 
I didn’t realize how much socialization occurred at the workplace until I retired. I miss time spent with the coworkers, but not the work. I was also divorced a couple of years before I retired. Last year, my best friend of almost 50 years died and so did my dog. But this is the way of the world. Loss and renewal (in different ways.)

I like to be thankful for what I do have. Three children (No grandkids, yet) who live nearby that I see every week. A fun sports league that I have been in for many years. A good neighborhood where I know more than a few people. I can be as busy as I want to be.
 
stephenPE said:
One thing I have learned the last few years is older people (guilty as charged) like to talk. But I have always had that inclination. Someone said this is a good place to sort of talk. I agree....
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Ha! I hear you on that. Last week I caught myself talking a little too much when I could see the other persons eyes glaze over. Oops. Chatty old guy (me) boring someone. Gotta be more careful. No one wants to be that guy.
 
I have been 99% hermitized since my wife passed, in 2016, I quit driving 4 yrs ago, cause I knew it was time. Have a housekeeper thru the county services, she comes for 3 hrs every two weeks, and calls me on mon and fri....have one friend
who exchanges calls with me on weekly basis...have groc/pharm
delivered, so just pretty much all alone. I'm okay with it except
for those occaisional days when i'm not okay with it!!!! ;)
 
officerripley said:
This discussion just now reminded me of a book or article I read a few months back (don't remember its title) about loneliness amongst the elderly and how important social connections are, etc., and the author (a woman) said something like, "Look no one realizes how important families are or loves their kids and grandkids more than I do, but a good thing to keep in mind for seniors who are trying to socialize is: almost no one cares about any grandkids other than their own."
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even worse when the pictures come out....
 
hawkdon said:
I have been 99% hermitized since my wife passed, in 2016, I quit driving 4 yrs ago, cause I knew it was time. Have a housekeeper thru the county services, she comes for 3 hrs every two weeks, and calls me on mon and fri....have one friend
who exchanges calls with me on weekly basis...have groc/pharm
delivered, so just pretty much all alone. I'm okay with it except
for those occaisional days when i'm not okay with it!!!! ;)
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...and...and ...... you forgot the friends who keep you company all day around the world.... and we don't even ask for a cuppa coffee....:giggle:
 
It's not just grandparents, but mothers also, whose children are the Center of their lives,
and turn every subject into their kid(s) as if they were kings. I couldn't care less. And you can't
interrupt.
I like to write notes on life and kept them for a very long time. In longhand. Keeps me busy
when alone. like a journal of thoughts and incidents.
 
I have been reading that people of all ages are turning to AI for companionship. In fact some lady age 58 just married a robot.. well provided you can believe anything you read now. That is just a tad too much techy stuff fer me.
 

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