dilettante
Well-known Member
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- Michigan
Never heard if it. How sure are we that this isn't just one more hyperbolic fabrication echoing around certain quarters of social media?
Your body, my choice. A question for women.
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Trish
VIP OAP
That is for you to decide. It's not really an issue we can discuss on a no politics board but, Google Your Body, My Choice and make your own conclusions.
Twostep
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Simple ending of a marriage. No fuss.
hollydolly
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yes , I said that , quote '' perhaps if people have nothing to split, no property .. and no kids.. and are willing to just cut their losses and walk away it might cost the minimum... but it certainly doesn't the second you ask for what the law states is your entitlment..''
Trish
VIP OAP
I had very little knowledge of no fault divorces and was shocked to hear that a devious partner could hide assets and the only choice the innocent party had was to either settle for a deceitful settlement or fund a fight to uncover those assets. I imagine that a no fault divorce would be fine for two people in a short marriage with no children and few assets but, for someone in a long marriage who has worked and contributed to the marriage over a long period of time, it's not at all fair or straightforward.
Muskrat
Senior Member
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- Mainly arizona
My understanding of a “no fault” divorce means that you can get divorced for ANY reason. Divorce used to be limited to a few select reasons. I believe it was things like drug use, infidelity and perhaps desertion. Now it can be irreconcilable differences. In the usa (or at least certain states) you can simply fill out a no fault divorce packet and file it with the courts. This only works if both parties are in agreement of all aspects.
Murrmurr
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- Sacramento, California
Oh. Did the study focus on younger men? (if you have a link or title, I'm interested in seeing it)
My world isn't huge, and the people I know are mostly lower- to middle-income, but almost all of the young men I know (I'd say 85%) are unproductive and aren't motivated to become productive, BUT, they aren't at all motivated to become fathers, either. And all the ones who can afford it are totally into gaming.
And about half of the 30-something men I know spend more time after work with their game systems than with their wives and children. And over half of the other half have at least one baby-mama, live off her (or their) and their children's welfare benefits, and are not the least bit motivated to make any changes. They see no shame in this lifestyle whatsoever.
Again, we're talking small numbers...like about 25-30 men that I know personally. And the highest earners bring in around $50K a year. I do have a couple of friends who earn over $100K, but they are in their late 40s and do not game at all.
Honestly, I'm worried about our young men, and how they'll impact America's future.
All that said, I totally agree that young women need to get the hell off social media. It is totally frucking them up, and if they have kids, them too.
The title has very much to do with Roe and procreation. It is very political, and I believe it was first coined after the election and overturn of Roe, by a rightwing white supremacist, Nick Fuentes. Then others ran with the slogan, as they often do on social media.
My husband, may he rest peacefully, was always respectful of women and in favor of women's rights, along with the rights and freedoms of other minorities in the US.
I personally have zero respect for these men of a certain 'persuasion', and they disgust me. Can't believe there are men like this in our country in 2024, but they won't go away if we enable them by voting for them.
I have great respect for men, I have many of them in my circle of friends, my neighbors, my past coworkers and my family. None of them have said or agree with your title. Those men want to take this country backwards, keep women barefoot and pregnant, keep them and people of color from voting, keep gays locked in the closet. Glad I'm old and have no children, it's shameful we're going back in time instead of moving forward and thriving.
Trish
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Yes, that is what I read too
Teacher Terry
Well-known Member
Your experience is the exact opposite of mine and all of my friend’s experiences. My women friends have provided the most support through my life.Disclaimer: I'm not here to pit women against men or vice versa, and to be clear I'm not a feminist I believe that everyone regardless of gender should be treated with equal respect and dignity.
Boy, this post possibly opened a can of worms as in the world today where everyone is divided and has an opinion responding truthfully about how you feel will cause a sting.
In my adult life I have worked with, lived with, been friends with all sorts of women, and I must say that very few of my personal and professional relationships with women went without a dose of jealously, control, anger, and outright manipulation. As for my relationships with men in all scenarios stated above, the opposite is true.
I've (and before you attack me, I'm speaking about my personal experiences) had very few incidents with men that have left me feeling out of control or abused in anyway (abuse is not only physical)- do they happen in the world- yes, of course, and in some cases things that men do to women are outright horrible but women, as stats show, and from personal experiences, are noeither, and can be worse as they react emotionally.
I feel, and have witnessed, that they also tend to provoke situations that could have been avoided because of their uncontrollable fits of rage and emotionally charged drama (this is not true for all women, calm down). This has been studied and stats will back up my statement and personally experienced.
It's a two way street and we are human - men and women. We both make mistakes, at times have bad judgment leading to bad situations, especially when love is involved, but knowing how to behave as a normal human being goes a long way in how these situations end up.
I'm not taking sides here, but I can say that personally I feel more comfortable, respected and safe around men (maybe not the sketchy guy on the sidewalk) just overall in my daily encounters and personal relationships past and present.
The bottom line is, women and men behave badly- men just seem to get the blunt of it all because they are men - think #meetoo movement, that was a nightmare for men- women outright lied accusing men of horrendous things destroying their life- but that's forgotten, let's slip that under the rug- we don't want to bring that up, and acknowledge that women can be outright liars! And the wrongfully accused have never been exonerated!
If I was to tell each of my awful encounters with the same sex, this would be a book - I 've experienced both physical & mental abuse from women who I've trusted, as well as extreme cases of manipulation that involved them wanting me to outright lie to help them with their personal issues to cover their wrong doings- funny thing, in the two situations involving their husband's - the men were the most honest and wanted to deal with the issues sensibly and resolve them with the best possible outcome for the family.
With regards to (and I know equal pay, opportunity at work was not brought up but I just have to) workplace treatment- the men in my long-term employers treated me with the utmost respect, giving me fair opportunities allowing me to promote equally regardless of my sex.
In the most masculine and aggressive environment the gym- to my recollection, one incident with a man - and dozens with women.
To conclude- women have left me wondering what went wrong? I believe women are our own worst enemies- aside from the true stories that women go through all over the world- I think we have it pretty good in th Western countries but turning it pretty bad for ourselves.
Men start preying on young girls in their teens. They may be a teacher, minister or a boss when a teenager has a part time job. Twice as a teenager I had a man that I was passing grab my breast or crouch as they walked by. This was a medium size city in the Midwest during the day not in a bad neighborhood. I have never met a woman that didn’t have multiple stories like these.
I find it interesting when some women really dislike other women. I also find that some men are so bitter from a long ago divorce that they are never really able to build a new life with a new partner. They allow bitterness to become their constant companion. As the old saying goes “it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved someone.”
hollydolly
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absolutely correct Trish, and you can imagine the horror I felt when I discovered as the injured party I would have to pay despite being the respndent as well..
hollydolly
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yep same here... and you pay a few hundred ..£500 is the average ..if there are no assets to be divided up and no children involved
If there are.. then that's where the money starts rolling in for lawyers, regardless of No fault conditions..
It was Nick Fuentes who made this phrase go viral it wasn't about Roe. It was simple abuse of women for being women and it was sickening.Yes, that is what I read too
Debrah N.
Senior Member
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- Alberta, Canada
Maybe that's talking about a marriage where nothing material or financial has been accumulated and they both just agree to walk away. But when the stuff has to be divided up that's when lawyers$$$ get involved. Could that be the difference? The divorce is nobody's fault and they agree to end it, but there's the stuff issue.
Debrah N.
Senior Member
- Location
- Alberta, Canada
Actually, it's a concern to women because there are some men who seem to think they're in a position to 'threaten' women in this way. And it's a backhanded reference to how a group of mostly men, took away women's reproductive health care rights and mostly men who are threatening to extend that to even the use of contraception. It's not just 'crying over an election'.
Not always. Both parties don't need to agree; I never agreed to my divorce, but I didn't fight it because why would I fight to keep someone in a marriage who made it clear he didn't want to be there?
My marriage was nearly dead in the water after 17 years when my ex told me he was leaving. For the sake of our three children I tried to get him to try marital counseling, but he refused. So no-fault divorces aren't always an instance of both people agreeing to walk away. And they can still be expensive.
Debrah N.
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- Alberta, Canada
You might not have wanted it, but by going along with it even though forced into that situation, you sort of agreed. But I totally get why you made those choices all along the way. I'd have done exactly the same. I hope that after you recovered from the shock to your life, that you found a new path and success on it.
When my Zebra Dove got older l took her to the vet once a month to get her beak trimmed. When was your last appointment?
Thank you; that's very kind.
Unfortunately, it was the kids who suffered the most, although they made it through, and today are all successful and in happy, stable relationships.Debrah N.
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- Alberta, Canada
Believe me, I know exactly how your kids felt. My dad abandoned us when I was about 8 and he just disappeared out of our lives. Just gone! I can remember being very scared because being young, I didn't understand what had happened and just wishing my daddy would come back and thinking that if I'd been a better girl, he'd have stayed with me. Not that he was a great dad, he sure wasn't. It's awful for kids.Thank you; that's very kind.
I heard a psychologist once sort of whining (to Incel's) how women are picky....(like its a bad thing and to blame for their not getting laid) but being picky means you have a greater likelihood of picking a future father who'll be good for our kids as well as we women.
That's Wonderful. that you had a great marriage.
Lethe200
Senior Member
- Location
- San Francisco Bay Area
On the contrary:
Not All Women Gained the Vote in 1920
For many women, the 19th Amendment was only the beginning of a much longer fight.
PBS.org July 6, 2020
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanex...e-not-all-women-gained-right-to-vote-in-1920/
This article is part of She Resisted, an interactive experience celebrating the pioneering strategies of the women’s suffrage movement.
19th Amendment: The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States on or by any state on account of sex.
When the 19th Amendment became law on August 26, 1920, 26 million adult female Americans were nominally eligible to vote. But full electoral equality was still decades away for many women of color who counted among that number. The federal suffrage amendment prohibited discrimination on the basis of sex, but it did not address other kinds of discrimination that many American women faced: women from marginalized communities were excluded on the basis of gender and race. Native American, Asian American, Latinx and African American suffragists had to fight for their own enfranchisement long after the 19th Amendment was ratified. Only over successive years did each of those groups gain access to the ballot.
In 1920, Native Americans weren’t allowed to be United States citizens, so the federal amendment did not give them the right to vote. The first generation of white suffragists had studied Native communities to learn from a model of government that included women as equal democratic actors. But the suffragists did not advocate for indigenous women. Nonetheless, Native American activists like Zitkála-Šá continued to organize and advocate with white mainstream suffragists. With the passage of the Snyder Act in 1924, American-born Native women gained citizenship. But until as late as 1962, individual states still prevented them from voting on contrived grounds, such as literacy tests, poll taxes and claims that residence on a reservation meant one wasn’t also a resident of that state.
Native-born Asian Americans already had U.S. citizenship in 1920, but first generation Asian Americans did not. Asian American immigrant women were therefore excluded from voting until the Immigration and Nationality Act of 1952 allowed them to gain citizenship more than three decades after the 19th Amendment. Despite being barred from citizenship and from voting, Asian American suffragists such as Dr. Mabel Ping-Hua Lee worked alongside white Native-born women in the years leading up to 1920; Ping-Hua Lee and others advocated within their communities and even marched in suffrage parades.
Latinx women contributed to the success of the suffrage movement at both the state and federal levels, particularly with their efforts to reach out to Spanish-speaking women. And in Puerto Rico, suffragists like Luisa Capetillo worked to attain women’s voting rights, which were first given to literate women in 1929 and all Puerto Rican women in 1935. Yet literacy tests remained an effective means of keeping some Hispanic and other women of color from voting long after the federal amendment was passed. It took a 1975 extension of the Voting Rights Act, prohibitingdiscrimination against language minority citizens, to expand voting access to women who rely heavily on languages other than English.
Some African American suffragists in the north were able, with the 19th Amendment, to realize the rewards of their activism, but throughout much of the country the same voter suppression tactics that kept black men from the polls kept black women from voting, too. Literacy tests, poll taxes, voter ID requirements and intimidation and threats and acts of violence were all obstacles.
The struggle for suffrage, which began for black women in the early 1800s, continued until activists such as Fannie Lou Hamer and Diane Nash won the passage of the Voting Rights Act of 1965, 200 years later.
After the 19th Amendment, the work to secure the vote for all women has continued. Beyond 1920, diverse women expanded voting access to more Americans, and their project of creating a more equitable society through voting rights persists today.
hollydolly
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- London England
...but I'm in the UK....
hollydolly
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- London England
this was the same with me.I didn't agree to the no fault divorce, because he was clearly at fault in many ways.. but because 2 years had passed.. the No fault divorce becoms automatic, and nothing can be raised during the procedure, of the problems that brought the marriage to an end..
Theonly time this is different is if one or both of the parties have been seriousy assaulted to the endangerment of their life...and there has to have been a conviction for the no fault divorce to have the caveat of '''fault''..
I had been assaulted.. but because the police coudn't gather enough evidence at the time to bring a conviction against him, it didn't matter that he was arrested, several times, what matters is an actual conviction..... it meant I couldn't bring it up as part of our divorce procedure.. which I have to tell you will stick in my craw for the rest of my life.. it's so unfair.
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