Your thoughts on romantic love?

grahamg said:
I have to ask myself the same question you do, and sometimes it gets close to my saying "it was not worth it", and I'd certainly have to admit, if you were given your life over again, knowing how things turned out, there is no way I'd have followed the same path. :censored: !
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All love ever did for me was leave me with a broken heart. If I could go back & do things over I would've gotten some schooling & a decent job & stayed alone & lived my life without that extra grief.
 

Phoenix said:
My aunt was one "saucy" lady who told it like it was. I stand on her shoulders. She stood by me when I needed her. She was also gentle and loving and had been in love three times. About her first husband she said, "George wanted other women. I would have none of it." So she divorced him and was considered a sinner by the rest of the family. Her second husband died of complications from drinking too much. Her third husband was 96 when he died. She handled it with strength and dignity. I used to say when I grow up to be 85 I want to be like Aunt Lottie. She lived to be 97. She was an example of how to face whatever came and come up stronger. After she had a stroke or two she said to me, "I don't remember who you are dear, but I love you."

Romantic love can be one of the most beautiful things we as humans can experience, especially when accompanied by the depth of love for who and what the other person is. I consider myself blessed for the romantic love I've experienced, even when it caused me a lot of pain. I hold the memories in the deepest part of me, remember the rush and the seeing the world through the pristine lenses of that love. The essence of that love is still alive within me.
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That was so beautifully written.. Your Aunt was remarkable.
Intense love is very much like intense suffering
 
Phoenix said:
My aunt was one "saucy" lady who told it like it was. I stand on her shoulders. She stood by me when I needed her. She was also gentle and loving and had been in love three times. About her first husband she said, "George wanted other women. I would have none of it." So she divorced him and was considered a sinner by the rest of the family. Her second husband died of complications from drinking too much. Her third husband was 96 when he died. She handled it with strength and dignity. I used to say when I grow up to be 85 I want to be like Aunt Lottie. She lived to be 97. She was an example of how to face whatever came and come up stronger. After she had a stroke or two she said to me, "I don't remember who you are dear, but I love you."

Romantic love can be one of the most beautiful things we as humans can experience, especially when accompanied by the depth of love for who and what the other person is. I consider myself blessed for the romantic love I've experienced, even when it caused me a lot of pain. I hold the memories in the deepest part of me, remember the rush and the seeing the world through the pristine lenses of that love. The essence of that love is still alive within me.
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This was so beautifully expressed. All of it. Your aunt sounds like she was quite the lady.

I’m also very grateful for having experienced intense romantic love. It’s super special.

Can someone have romantic love for 3 people at the same time. Not this woman. I can only be in love with one person at one time. In fact I can’t think of anyone else in a romantic relationship if I already have that with someone else’. It’s impossible for me.
 
MarciKS said:
All love ever did for me was leave me with a broken heart. If I could go back & do things over I would've gotten some schooling & a decent job & stayed alone & lived my life without that extra grief.
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So many have experienced this, I'm sure you know, and it does come down to the old saying "Better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all", (if you/we accept this way of thinking, and I think we maybe should, just dont be so big a fool next time in my case o_O:cry:⚖!?).
 
I think men and women have a different concept of "romantic love". For men, taking out the trash is a romantic gesture. That's something women don't appreciate. Women tend to want gestures and thoughts that are out of the norm, like roses on any Wednesday, cards of the fridge, etc. Men tend to think coming home after work, and being there as signs of romance. Of course, I'm a guy.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I think men and women have a different concept of "romantic love". For men, taking out the trash is a romantic gesture. That's something women don't appreciate. Women tend to want gestures and thoughts that are out of the norm, like roses on any Wednesday, cards of the fridge, etc. Men tend to think coming home after work, and being there as signs of romance. Of course, I'm a guy.
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I agree with you. My late husband said, "I already told you once that I loved you. Now let me be!" (laughingly though!)
Sometimes,women need more than that!
 
This is a painting I did of my aunt Lottie. It's part of the cover art for one of my books. Her characteristic look was her sparkle. She didn't have it all the time, of course, because life is hard. When I showed the picture to her granddaughter Tammy, Tammy said, "You captured Grandma's sparkle."
AuntLottie1.JPG
 
Pepper, thanks for asking. My books fall in the cracks between genres. In some ways they are general fiction. In some ways they are visionary and have elements of magical realism. All that means is that characters who have died can still be in the books. They include intense love stories, there is sometimes a little violence, like one gal was raped. Anything that I've experienced can end up there, anything I strongly believe in can end up in the book. I have a series that includes my aunt Lottie and several of her feisty friends. They make moonshine and during the course of the first book pass away, but it doesn't phase them. They are as "alive" and vibrant as ever. In the second two in the series they are guides to younger women. One of my books is a coming of age story about three young women of different faiths, Christian, Muslim and Hindu. The book I'm working on now involves quantum entanglement and the afterlife. I'm working on my twelfth book. One of my books is nonfiction about what happened to me and my family when my brother murdered his neighbors. If you want I can provide a link to information on my website. But I don't want to push it on anyone.
 
Pete said:
Until my wife died after 28 years of marriage

I loved three people ( wife, son and daughter ) equally,

and would not hesitate to sacrifice myself for their safety
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Romantic love and familial love and love of friends are in different categories, but they are all love. Love is love, no matter where you find it.
 
MarciKS said:
Depends. Some of us don't really do the whole receiving flowers stuff. I can only think of one time when a man brought me flowers. It was embarrassing for me because I'd never gotten flowers from a man & didn't know how to react.
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When I landed my first civilian job after retiring from the Navy, my wife had flowers delivered to me at work. It was a pleasant, but rather odd feeling. Among the mixed reaction of my co-workers I could sense a degree of envy. LOL, I suspect that the women in the office saw them as a statement of "hands off."

I routinely got flowers for my wife before the virus came along. Now we get them every week as they bring an element of cheer into the house. Flowers are a pretty versatile statement and we send them to people for a variety of reasons.

That said, during my single years I never did show up for a first date with flowers. To me that still seems a bit weird.
 
The only time I ever got flowers @Pecos was from family when I was in the hospital as a child. Haven't gotten them but that one time on a date. I was married twice & never got flowers then either.

One day at the supermarket some teenagers were part of a group trying to spread a little joy or kindness or something & they saw me & came to present me with a rose. It was nice & all...I thanked them but then gave it to a little girl on another isle. She got more enjoyment out of it than I did.
 
It's easy to say how wonderful romantic love is when you're not a throw away.
 

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