Why get remarried?

I agree RaddishRose. My motto is to keep an open heart and never say ‘never’ when it comes to love and / or companionship.
There might be the perfect gentleman out there who might be open to some gentle companionship from the right women.
 
Keesha said:
You bring up some excellent ones OneEyedDiva.
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RadishRose said:
Someday Diva, you may find a nice companion who feels the same as you do. It's more common than you may think. :)
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Thank you Keesha. Radish Rose....just may...never know. My sister who thought she'd never be bothered again started dating a man, maybe 10 years ago and they've been going strong ever since. Though they take good care of each other like husband and wife, neither wants to marry because each has a home and children....things can get complicated. Plus they like the option of being able to retreat to their own homes should they get tired of each other. :D
 

OneEyedDiva said:
Thank you Keesha. Radish Rose....just may...never know. My sister who thought she'd never be bothered again started dating a man, maybe 10 years ago and they've been going strong ever since. Though they take good care of each other like husband and wife, neither wants to marry because each has a home and children....things can get complicated. Plus they like the option of being able to retreat to their own homes should they get tired of each other. :D
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There’s nothing wrong with that. You do what works for ‘you.’ I know an elderly couple that married ( 2nd marriage for both ) yet each kept their own houses. That’s how they wanted it and they seem happier than the average couple.
You never know. :shrug:
We’ll send Cupid down your way. :hatlaugh:
 
It's been fascinating reading that most of you would not remarry again. I would have thought it would be closer to 50-50. I wouldn't marry again, either if something happened to my husband for two reasons:
1. Financial. Unlike a lot of other people, my spouse and I have always shared our wages into one account. Probably because we were so young when we married, and neither of us had anything material at that point. It has always worked well for us and I think it brought us closer together. Everything we have is "ours". We worked our heines off during our working years and now have a nice little nest egg for our retirement. If something happens to my husband and I'm alone, I'm not sharing my nest egg with some other man. I would find it difficult to do the mine and your's thing.

2. Identity. I changed my whole identity when I got married. I'm not doing that again. If I were to change my name again, it would be back to my original last name. Which in reality is my dad's name. I could get married, I guess, and keep the name I have now. Bu I think a lot of guys don't like that.
 
Aside from the fact that my Christian beliefs won't allow me to live with a man without benefit of marriage, I have been living alone for so long (14 years) that I'm not sure I could live with someone else without going completely insane.
 
Good topic and replies. I live alone but so enjoy the companionship of my pets, if I met someone I'd wonder how they would treat my pets. Had a friend who was nasty to one of my birds and gave him the boot. So many things to consider about living together or marrying.
 
I have not read the entire thread. This may have been previously posted but we have a single friend who swears that men of our age are either looking for a "purse or a nurse". She IS one funny lady.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I wouldn't get married or live with anyone at this point in my life. It would be nice to have a sort of committed companion to travel with or socialize with but not someone that I need to clean up after.:):playful::eek:nthego:
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Aunt Bea, you and I agree so much that we could be twin sisters! Every time I read one of your responses I find myself nodding. I would never remarry (been divorced 52 years) and would never live together at my age, I like my privacy and my freedom way too much.

Debby, if you like being married and you find the right guy, then marry but DO keep your money separate in your name only. It's different when you first get married and neither of you has much wealth, but later in life separate accounts is the way to go. On the other hand, once you've had children and no longer want more, WHY bother getting married? Living ''in sin'' no longer has the stigma it once had and as long as you're okay with it the hell with what others think. Remember, getting married is fast and easy, getting divorced can be a nightmare if you find out you've made a mistake.
 
PVC- I’ve realized it’s not marriage I like, it’s companionship, period. I’ll never share the money I have, actually my financial advisor suggested that to me. I’d never thought about all that. It’s going to be hard finding someone, I think. Whatever. Life goes on, I’m healthy and somewhat happy so it is what it is. Some day, when I least expect it.....
 
Marriage to me is for people looking to build a life. After so many years life is basically set, we know what we have learned and that is our tool to move on through our days and their demands. The idea "we love each other so lets get married" denotes love and marriage go together (like a horse and carriage). Rules for living in our youth cannot apply to rules for later in life as hopefully we have learned how to navigate. How many times have we heard "I thought I could change him/her" when asked why young people's marriage failed? My dad married late in his life and for the life of me I'll never know why unless he or she demanded it. He never said he loved her rather, "she is a good wife." Not exactly a romantic compliment. I have a great female friend but we would never consider marriage. Why insert a change when their is no need of change?
 
I'm coming to this forum late, but I feel as many here do. I would never again marry for a number of reasons - especially as I live in a community property state. I had poor luck in marriage - mainly because I made poor choices for mates. I did some dating after my divorce with the usual results. At that point I decided I couldn't trust my judgment in that area - and swore off the whole thing - and I have been completely happy - even took back my maiden name.
 
I was divorced 50 years ago once I had my daughter and my ex husband decided he was not able to handle being a father. I decided never to remarry because I lost all faith in it to be honest. I dated and even had some longer term relationships along the way from that point, but decided never to get married again.
 
I've been divorced for 10 years and since then I've had a few relationships, all of which included some consideration of marriage. I decided against it and I don't have any regrets.
 
Nozzle36 said:
I'm coming to this forum late, but I feel as many here do. I would never again marry for a number of reasons - especially as I live in a community property state. I had poor luck in marriage - mainly because I made poor choices for mates. I did some dating after my divorce with the usual results. At that point I decided I couldn't trust my judgment in that area - and swore off the whole thing - and I have been completely happy - even took back my maiden name.
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As far as the "community property" is concerned, the only way a new partner would be entitled any of the property is if it was acquired as a couple. Your property remains YOUR property (in California)...
 
Not necessarily. For instance, if you own a house (like I do) and it increases in value while you are married (as mine did) your spouse is entitled to half the increase in value when you divorce. I foiled that by refusing to do any maintenance on the house and the value went down. I don't know how it is in other community property states, but that's how it is in Washington. My was a parasite, who contributed very little to our marriage and I felt no obligation to accommodate him further.
 
AZ Jim said:
As far as the "community property" is concerned, the only way a new partner would be entitled any of the property is if it was acquired as a couple. Your property remains YOUR property (in California)...
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Same here in NM, except in very narrow instances like where a new spouse remodeled a home which was the property of the other spouse before marriage --if he could prove it was his money that went into the house remodel he could possibly have a claim against the house for the value of the remodeling.
 
Butterfly said:
--if he could prove it was his money that went into the house remodel he could possibly have a claim against the house for the value of the remodeling.
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Also, if the new spouse pays for the mortgage and other improvements to the property. I didn't even know about the increase in value, like Nozzle said. So many pitfalls to be aware of.
 
70% of divorce is initiated by women.Most marriages don't make it past 13 years. 80% of past societies were polygamous, and most of those were polygynous. It seems that the less desirable of the men created the institution of marriage and the "man in charge" idea to try to have what they really want, a life mate.
 
AZ Jim said:
As far as the "community property" is concerned, the only way a new partner would be entitled any of the property is if it was acquired as a couple. Your property remains YOUR property (in California)...
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Nozzle36 said:
Not necessarily. For instance, if you own a house (like I do) and it increases in value while you are married (as mine did) your spouse is entitled to half the increase in value when you divorce. I foiled that by refusing to do any maintenance on the house and the value went down. I don't know how it is in other community property states, but that's how it is in Washington. My was a parasite, who contributed very little to our marriage and I felt no obligation to accommodate him further.
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What you described in bold is an acquired asset during the marriage and exactly what Jim was saying.


It's the same here in Mass, only assets that are acquired during the marriage are split evenly during a divorce. All other assets that were obtained before the marriage go to whoever had legal possession of them prior to the marriage date.
 
If I lost my sweetie of 40 years I couldn't imagine marrying or living with someone else, though after a time a bit of steady companionship and a traveling partner - male or female - would probably be appealing.
 

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