Church Attendance Way Down

Aunt Bea said:
Your story reminded me of this.
d8d94e1be5e0ecdb08a90653ee0c4474.jpg
Click to expand...
LOL That way is faster and guaranteed that you will get that bike.
 

PVc’s post regarding televangelist:

  1. If your watching a televangelist who’s presentation is slick, polished, conciliatory presenting a ‘feel good’ message; it is time to do some research.
  2. Her list of charlatans should be heeded.
  3. I’ve watched three or four of these folks-are those dollars signs on their foreheads or am I seeing things?
  4. I am saddened that our species is so gullible.


  1. I do not agree with the information presented on Billy Graham, but I will research before I offer a rebuttal,).
Another opinion: Trade went to church to ‘catch a woman.’ I’ve told my sons, ‘Your chances of finding a decent woman are far great in church than at a bar."

I said opinions-okay.
 

Last edited:
Aunt Bea said:
d8d94e1be5e0ecdb08a90653ee0c4474.jpg
Click to expand...
That's hilarious Aunt Bee.
Gave me a good chuckle.

Psalm 37:3-5 says He will give Al the desires of his heart...like that bike. But whenever God makes a promise He also gives a condition that Al must do for his part first. I'll let those who want to know, find the answer in the scripture I posted (or google it) so I'm not labeled a Proselytizer.
 
Last edited:
jerry r. garner said:
Payers are answered, sometimes the answer is 'No.'
Click to expand...
That's weird. We had a Trooper that came down with AIDS through transfusions with him being a Hemophiliac (bleeder). I prayed for his recovery, but he died. When I told our Chaplain that I prayed for his recovery, he told me that "Sometimes God says no." I was stunned and just looked at him. You could hear crickets chirp. So, I walked away. I didn't know what to think about that answer.
 
PVC said:
LOL That way is faster and guaranteed that you will get that bike.
Click to expand...

Funny stuff:

A Baptist minister is performing an old style baptizing by dunking his new members into the small lake behind the church.

He dunks the first fellow and after he brings him out of the water, he asked him, "Did you see God?"
The parishioner responded, "No."
So, the minister dunked him again and after he raised him up out of the water, he asked, "Did you see God?"
Again, the parishioner said, "No."
So, the minister dunks him a third time, raises him out of the water and asks him again, "Did you see God?"
And, again the parishioner said, "No, but are you sure that he's even down there?"
Ba-dump!!!

The other Baptist joke that was told to me by a Baptist was:

Jake: "Do you know how to define a Baptist?"
Elwood: "No."
Jake: "A Baptist is a person who keeps getting dunked in the lake until he comes around to their way of thinking."
Ba-dump!!!

(No disrespect intended.)
 
"He sighed, slipped on a Yamaka and then slammed his Torah down on the counter, declaring "Get thine hand off my alter, already." "
I don't get it. What's that mean?
 
Pepper said:
"He sighed, slipped on a Yamaka and then slammed his Torah down on the counter, declaring "Get thine hand off my alter, already." "
I don't get it. What's that mean?
Click to expand...
You're kidding me, right? The other three corners were occupied by churches, which didn't pay taxes so he declared his business a synagogue...(aka - Torah on the alter) which also doesn't have to pay taxes!
Hey, got several more, but if you didn't get that one, doubt that you'd like these others...lol.
 
PVC said:
Please post, laughter is the best medicine, it's the only medicine I like to take.
Click to expand...
Ok, here's one. Teacher at private Christian school asks class "who was the most important person in the Bible?"

No answer, so she decides to bribe them with a $20 bill. One kid raises his hand and says "it was Jonah". No dice. Sigh. Second kid raises hand and says "It was Moses". Nope. Third kid (who was Jewish) offers up "It was Jesus". Teacher gets teared up, so proud that the only Jewish kid in this Christian school was so "listening" and learning from her.

She ask him to stay after the class left and said "how did you know it was Jesus?". To which Jewish kid replied "hey, I would have said Abraham, but business is business you know."
 
Part of the reason is there are online services and donation websites now. I think the number of Christians is about 3.4 billion. Add other religions and you have a strong presence of worshippers.
 
Liberty said:
Could be, but I read somewhere that John the Divine's estate was valued during the depression and would have been worth a quarter million dollars. I guess it depends of whether you possess the riches or the riches possess you. Maybe that's the definition of a "rich man and the camel going through the narrow passageway - the camel has to be unloaded to get through.

I do know what you mean, about pastors and priests getting rich off of stupid people that put money in padre's plate, though...lol. I've thought about this issue a lot, but also don't believe poverty is in and of itself a virtue, either. Maybe the happy medium is the way to go..."the laborer is worthy of his or her hire?"
Click to expand...

I don't understand the part about John the Divine. What estate?? To whom are you referring? How could someone during the depression evaluate the "estate," if there was one, of someone who lived 2000 years ago, and who many dispute even lived at all??

Please clarify.
 
Early and middle 50':
Didn't have to worry about going to hell, Preachers of (unnamed Protestant group) scared the hell out of young ears.
 
Liberty said:
Ok, here's one. Teacher at private Christian school asks class "who was the most important person in the Bible?"

No answer, so she decides to bribe them with a $20 bill. One kid raises his hand and says "it was Jonah". No dice. Sigh. Second kid raises hand and says "It was Moses". Nope. Third kid (who was Jewish) offers up "It was Jesus". Teacher gets teared up, so proud that the only Jewish kid in this Christian school was so "listening" and learning from her.

She ask him to stay after the class left and said "how did you know it was Jesus?". To which Jewish kid replied "hey, I would have said Abraham, but business is business you know."
Click to expand...
LOL, he wanted that $20 badly enough to read her mind and knew the answer Abraham was not going to get him that $20. Jewish people are born businessmen. Don't want to spoil the joke, but what was a Jewish boy doing in a Christian school? :confused:
 
PVC said:
...what was a Jewish boy doing in a Christian school? :confused:
Click to expand...
Jesus Christ identified as a Jew and observed Passover and Hanukkah. He taught in the Synagogue and was accepted there as a teacher but not as the Son of God. Some Jewish people, though few, are Christians and believe the Messiah has come and was Jesus Christ the Son of God and Savior. But they still identify as Jewish by lineage and heritage just like Jesus.

I went to church with a Christian jew and he came to visit my young children once (just after their Dad passed) during Thanksgiving dressed as a Pilgrim because he just wanted to make them smile. He also invited the church congregation to his home for a Passover dinner and to share his customs and answer questions.
 
Aunt Bea: (post 82)
So, a fella that needs a 54 million dollar jet. I got a message for him.

Okay, Jesse you know prayers get an answer: sometimes yes, sometime no and sometimes not in the way you/we expected.

No one told me to do this, I've done it on my own:
Enclosed you will find a $1.00 gift certificate from Dollar Tree; you go on down there and get yourself a good dollar broom, bett'cha you don't need instructions on how to ride it-Bon voyage
 
Last edited:
PVC said:
LOL, he wanted that $20 badly enough to read her mind and knew the answer Abraham was not going to get him that $20. Jewish people are born businessmen. Don't want to spoil the joke, but what was a Jewish boy doing in a Christian school? :confused:
Click to expand...
I know you can't understand it, but that remark is racist, even if you meant it as a compliment.
 
Lara said:
Jesus Christ identified as a Jew and observed Passover and Hanukkah. He taught in the Synagogue and was accepted there as a teacher but not as the Son of God. Some Jewish people, though few, are Christians and believe the Messiah has come and was Jesus Christ the Son of God and Savior. But they still identify as Jewish by lineage and heritage just like Jesus.

I went to church with a Christian jew and he came to visit my young children once (just after their Dad passed) during Thanksgiving dressed as a Pilgrim because he just wanted to make them smile. He also invited the church congregation to his home for a Passover dinner and to share his customs and answer questions.
Click to expand...
Q: What do you call a Messianic Jew?
A: A Christian

In a Jewish world, the Real One, there is no such animal as a Christian Jew. This person can pretend all he wants.
 
Pepper said:
In a Jewish world, the Real One, there is no such animal as a Christian Jew. This person can pretend all he wants.
Click to expand...
Biblical teaching says otherwise. All human beings were created with the ability of choice. They can choose to believe in Christianity or not. God isn't 'racist' against Jews or any ethnicity. He loves ALL His children. "Knock and the door shall be opened".
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top