How alone are you?

[MarciKS]

I got nothin. Once the folks are gone, that's it for the real life folks. All that will be left is internet friendship. I'm not interested in looking for people to hang out with. I always end up getting hurt and I can actually have a lot of fun in just a few hours online. I'm not interested in dating or remarrying so, guess I'd better get to know the ambulance crew here. They'll be the last ones to see me.

 

[dawnkitty]

Old Dummy, sorry about Nikki it looks like she had a real nice life with you. Thats all we can do, is make sure they are happy and be with them till the end. Thank you for doin that.

 

[MickaC]

Well I'm more alone than I was a few hours ago. I got two kittens, a brother and sister, in May 2005. I had to take the female (Nikki) in tonight at five o'clock to be euthanized. Last Friday she was acting sluggish and had lost weight. I hadn't really noticed the weight loss except maybe subconsciously.

The vet did blood and chemistry tests Tuesday, all ok. Next was to test for feline leukemia, although she was vaccinated for it. They called yesterday, the test was negative. She was acting worse and worse and was a skeleton with fur. Being 15 years old there wasn't much to do; they said she probably had some form of cancer. So I enjoyed her for one more day and decided this afternoon to get it over with and release her from it all. She must have felt like total crap. When I picked her up to put her in the carrier she weighed almost nothing.

So I still have her brother Mickey.

Shortly after I got them in 2005:

View attachment 109447


View attachment 109457

A year or so old; Nikki on left, Mick right:

View attachment 109449

Shortly after I got them:

View attachment 109450

Two years ago:

View attachment 109455

They look like they were the very best companions.....So sorry for your loss, and having to make a decision like that is never easy, and never will be. Happy you have Mickey to love and be loved.

 

[Old Dummy]

Old Dummy, sorry about Nikki it looks like she had a real nice life with you. Thats all we can do, is make sure they are happy and be with them till the end. Thank you for doin that.

Thank you very much.

They look like they were the very best companions.....So sorry for your loss, and having to make a decision like that is never easy, and never will be. Happy you have Mickey to love and be loved.

Thank you also very much.

A note on what kind of life they had here: I live on a dirt road surrounded by deep woods. Off the edge of my yard is heavy, mostly impenetrable brush (for us, but not small animals). The cats have a pet door in my back door and could come in or go out at their leisure. They always used the outdoor "toilet," as they know nothing else. I've always been worried about some other carnivore getting them but it never happened, the thick brush a few feet away I'm sure came in handy for them. They were fully clawed; I'm sure that was also a factor.

I have a barn/shop behind the house and there is no shortage of rodents anywhere around here. They hunted to their hearts' content and kept the rodent population way down from where it would be otherwise. That made me very happy, as I hate having those damned things in the house.

They had 24/7 access to a hopper in the kitchen with Science Diet catfood, which they've been on for the past several years because of minor health issues with both. It isn't cheap, they loved it, and it did help with their minor issues (they've had the free-access hopper since they were young).

They slept on the bed with me every night especially in the winter. In warmer weather, they would go out often during the night and wouldn't necessarily be on the bed when I woke up.

Nikki was a little rascal; she'd figured out how to get the pet door open with a mouse in her mouth. They weren't always dead, and many times I woke up in the middle of the night to her chasing it around in the living room. Or if they were already dead, she'd leave them right at the foot of the steps going up to my bedroom. It used to piss me off, but I'm looking back on it now and I will miss it.

So today is the first day in Mickey's 15+ years-long life that he hasn't had his sister around. He's been hanging around me more than usual, and meowing more than usual. I think he's missing his sis.

Thanks again to everyone who "liked" my post. Gotta run now, I'm starting to get emotional.

They were about a year old here. I had to get up on the porch roof for something and when I wasn't looking, they were both up the ladder like a flash:



A few years ago on the porch, enjoying some fresh catnip a friend had given me:

 

[CindyLouWho]

Well I'm more alone than I was a few hours ago. I got two kittens, a brother and sister, in May 2005. I had to take the female (Nikki) in tonight at five o'clock to be euthanized. Last Friday she was acting sluggish and had lost weight. I hadn't really noticed the weight loss except maybe subconsciously.

The vet did blood and chemistry tests Tuesday, all ok. Next was to test for feline leukemia, although she was vaccinated for it. They called yesterday, the test was negative. She was acting worse and worse and was a skeleton with fur. Being 15 years old there wasn't much to do; they said she probably had some form of cancer. So I enjoyed her for one more day and decided this afternoon to get it over with and release her from it all. She must have felt like total crap. When I picked her up to put her in the carrier she weighed almost nothing.

So I still have her brother Mickey.

Shortly after I got them in 2005:

View attachment 109447


View attachment 109457

A year or so old; Nikki on left, Mick right:

View attachment 109449

Shortly after I got them:

View attachment 109450

Two years ago:

View attachment 109455

I'm so sorry, I do empathize with you losing Nikki. I've been through this with my animals and it's so painful in our hearts to see them go.
Thanks for sharing these pictures....so sweet and precious.

 

[Ellen Marie]

I had a discussion with my minister. I told him that everyone talks about going to heaven to see the saints and family who have already passed. I told him that one thing I learned about the covid-19 lockdowns.... that going to heaven will mean you are never alone again. There was an old gospel song, "No Never Alone"
He promised never to leave me,
Never to leave me alone.

 

[MarciKS]

I had a discussion with my minister. I told him that everyone talks about going to heaven to see the saints and family who have already passed. I told him that one thing I learned about the covid-19 lockdowns.... that going to heaven will mean you are never alone again. There was an old gospel song, "No Never Alone"
He promised never to leave me,
Never to leave me alone.

He is with you now Ellen Marie so you are not totally alone even now.

 

[Autumn]

I'm in the process of trying to sort out my "new normal". My sister and her husband are the only family I have. I've lived in this condo for 23 years and have some good friends among my neighbors. But I'm finding that all of our "couple friends" have sort of drifted away. My husband's family have always been into High Drama, and I was never their favorite (for many reasons). So I don't hear much from them, except for his late brother's partner, who calls me every day.

I'm fortunate in having people who'll help me if I need it, but I hate having to depend on others. So far, I've found online grocery delivery and a local laundromat that will pick up and deliver my wash. I pay a neighbor's son to take out the trash and bring in packages and such. Cleaning lady comes once a week. My husband used to handle all of that, I guess I was spoiled. I'm having to find ways to do a million little things that I never gave a thought to before.

If this pandemic ever ends and I'm able to go out, I think I'll feel more normal. Living alone is a huge adjustment, it's all making me feel a little unsettled. But things could be a lot worse, and it's up to me to adjust. I think I'll probably end up somewhere inbetween the 2 groups - not a social butterfly, but not totally isolated either. Right now, I'm just doing my best to work it out.

 

[Kaila]

@Autumn
Thank you for sharing that with us. It helps some of us, to see how others manage challenges.

 

[Kaila]

Oh gosh, @Old Dummy
This moment is the first time I have seen your posts, here, about losing your kitty companion/friend Nikki, and about how special company both she and her brother kitty, have been for you.

I am sorry for your loss, and I hope you have been adjusting, and making the transition, and Mick, too. Kaila

 

[Ruthanne]

Living alone runs the gamut or range from totally alone at one extreme
to very sociable and outgoing at the other end.
I have known people who live alone but friends, club members and or family members constantly call
and they frequently go out and enjoy. They live alone but that is all. They are rarely
lonely and not for long.

At the other end, those who live alone (not counting pets)
rarely or never get calls to talk or hang out together. This may be fairly
recent or your entire adult life. No human ever to come home to. After your college years
are over, only occasional friends, BFs and GFs and some dates.
No one cares about your weekend or even asks. You don't know what it is like to
have someone care about you, except possibly your parents. One could die and no one
would know.


Which group do you fit in? Or in between?

I fit in the last group. Seems to be getting to me more recently, too. Maybe it's the added virus on top of it all. I want to go out to dinner to dine alone and possibly meet people but it's too hard right now with worrying about contracting something.

 

[Victor]

don't worry. chances are tiny.

 

[Mollymoo]

I too, am alone. My husband passed May 14, this year. It’s terrible. I have friends, but they’re married, have kids, grandkids, etc. one of my daughters live in Az., the other not 10 miles away, but hates me, yes, hates me because she feels I should split the money my husband and I had prior to his death into thirds, naturally, 1/3 to her. Yes, it’s crazy. I am at a total loss, what do I do with all my time? It’s terrible.

Hello, debbie. First, I'm sorry that your husband passed, so recently. That has to be a source of real heartache. My ex passed, a couple of
years ago, but had been an ex, for so long, that it was just another day--which brings me to my daughter, the real reason I opened your
comments. Yup, our kids can cause pain, with their indifference, or by being greedy. I apparently raised one of those.
It wasn't until six weeks after her father died that she let her brother and me know of his passing. She had systematically worked at
gaining control of his finances, getting him to sign over his resources to a "tax-free dog charity" (her). The money meant nothing to
my son, nor me, but it allowed her to pay several hundreds of thousand dollars for a house--cash. She's never managed to hold onto
a job, and lives on alimony. This was her second grabbing of an older person's finances. No real crime, on the first one, just greed.

But, I digress: I really just wanted you to know that there is a legion of us, out here, whose kids turned greedy. I think they recognize
the sneakiness of their actions, but hope no one else does--so they draw away, and "hate" us, so they don't have to admit to what
they've done. It's easier to live with themselves, that way.

It's good, that you recognized what your daughter was trying to do. Like good ol' Dr. Phil often says (paraphrasing, here), we mourn
the people we wish they'd been. Recognizing that makes the loss of a relationship a tad easier.

So, your daughter will have to live with herself, as will mine. All we can do is to be our best selves, and trust that they'll be okay,
without our further input. We did all we could, prior to them leaving the nest.

Best wishes to you, debbie.

 

[Old Dummy]

Oh gosh, @Old Dummy
This moment is the first time I have seen your posts, here, about losing your kitty companion/friend Nikki, and about how special company both she and her brother kitty, have been for you.

I am sorry for your loss, and I hope you have been adjusting, and making the transition, and Mick, too. Kaila

Hi Kaila, thanks for your thoughts. It's been 5 weeks now and we're getting used to it. Mick still sticks closer to me than he did before.

How are you doing?

 

[Repondering]

I don't have much. I cared for my ailing and mood disordered mother for 17 years after dad died....the last 3 years were pretty awful. She's been gone a year and a half now. The older of my two brothers died 4 months before she did. There's another brother whom I haven't seen for 16 years.....he wasn't on speaking terms with Mom and myself. There's one niece who's been in and out of jail for years.....she isn't in the picture. I never married.
There was a special lady but health issues induced her to return to her own siblings on the family farm in another state....she's not in the picture anymore.
I'm active in my church but it doesn't meet in person during the time of COVID.
There are neighbors and acquaintances but no one whom I confide in.
My only actual social contacts are on Saturday mornings at the local farmers market where I have a booth.....and many regular customers and fellow vendors to schmooze with.
There's this forum.

 

[Pecos]

I don't have much. I cared for my ailing and mood disordered mother for 17 years after dad died....the last 3 years were pretty awful. She's been gone a year and a half now. The older of my two brothers died 4 months before she did. There's another brother whom I haven't seen for 16 years.....he wasn't on speaking terms with Mom and myself. There's one niece who's been in and out of jail for years.....she isn't in the picture. I never married.
There was a special lady but health issues induced her to return to her own siblings on the family farm in another state....she's not in the picture anymore.
I'm active in my church but it doesn't meet in person during the time of COVID.
There are neighbors and acquaintances but no one whom I confide in.
My only actual social contacts are on Saturday mornings at the local farmers market where I have a booth.....and many regular customers and fellow vendors to schmooze with.
There's this forum.

I think that we are lucky to have you here. I am humbled reading your post and suspect that there will be a thing or two that I will learn from you.

 

[LindaB]

Paxton: There Their They're ; Check 'em out. Even SOME stupid people know the difference.

Ahhh, the grammar police are stalking us

 

[RadishRose]

Well I'm more alone than I was a few hours ago. I got two kittens, a brother and sister, in May 2005. I had to take the female (Nikki) in tonight at five o'clock to be euthanized. Last Friday she was acting sluggish and had lost weight. I hadn't really noticed the weight loss except maybe subconsciously.

The vet did blood and chemistry tests Tuesday, all ok. Next was to test for feline leukemia, although she was vaccinated for it. They called yesterday, the test was negative. She was acting worse and worse and was a skeleton with fur. Being 15 years old there wasn't much to do; they said she probably had some form of cancer. So I enjoyed her for one more day and decided this afternoon to get it over with and release her from it all. She must have felt like total crap. When I picked her up to put her in the carrier she weighed almost nothing.

So I still have her brother Mickey.

Shortly after I got them in 2005:

View attachment 109447


View attachment 109457

A year or so old; Nikki on left, Mick right:

View attachment 109449

Shortly after I got them:

View attachment 109450

Two years ago:

View attachment 109455

I didn't see this until now. But let me say I'm so very sorry you lost your beloved cat. It hasn't been very long, but I still hope you've gained some solace. Take care.

 

[Ceege]

I was totally alone for the first time in my life this spring. I was married for almost 50 years and I've had all kinds of pets all my life. My last pet, Miss Kitty, passed away in January at the age of 20. My husband passed away in April and all of a sudden, mine was the only heartbeat in the house. I got 2 parakeets in June and they have been a great comfort. Always happy and playing. As soon as I can I want to get another cat.
I don't really know what I want or expect to happen after the virus is under control. I just take one day at a time. That's pretty much all any of us can do right now.

 

[Old Dummy]

I didn't see this until now. But let me say I'm so very sorry you lost your beloved cat. It hasn't been very long, but I still hope you've gained some solace. Take care.

Thank you very much, RR.

It's been 6 weeks today and I'm getting used to her not being around. I think Mick is too. But that's how it goes, even when a parent or close friend dies -- you get used to it.

Ol' Mick, now 15½, gets around a little slower than he used to, but he did leave me two halves of a mouse at my doorstep a couple of mornings ago.

 

[Old Dummy]

I was totally alone for the first time in my life this spring. I was married for almost 50 years and I've had all kinds of pets all my life. My last pet, Miss Kitty, passed away in January at the age of 20. My husband passed away in April and all of a sudden, mine was the only heartbeat in the house. I got 2 parakeets in June and they have been a great comfort. Always happy and playing. As soon as I can I want to get another cat.
I don't really know what I want or expect to happen after the virus is under control. I just take one day at a time. That's pretty much all any of us can do right now.

So sorry, all that must have been really hard to deal with.

My cat may be around a few more years, but who knows. You mentioned getting another cat: I have often thought about getting another one when Mick is gone, because where I live a cat is a necessity.

Problem is, I'll be 70 next month. If I get another cat at some point in the future it will likely outlive me. That bothers me, because a cat here has a perfect life (although it can be dangerous) and if it outlived me and had to go elsewhere, it would not be happy.

Oh well, I guess I shouldn't worry about that now.

 

[Ceege]

Problem is, I'll be 70 next month. If I get another cat at some point in the future it will likely outlive me. That bothers me, because a cat here has a perfect life (although it can be dangerous) and if it outlived me and had to go elsewhere, it would not be happy.

Oh well, I guess I shouldn't worry about that now.

I thought the same thing. But, I know my son would find a good home for her/him.

 

[Lewkat]

Marley, or precious pup as I call her, makes certain that I am never alone. She guards me as though I were the most sought after person on the face of the earth. Let no stranger approach me unless I greet them as old friends.

 

[debbie in seattle]

I thought the same thing. But, I know my son would find a good home for her/him.

Prior to me getting my dog, I made sure my daughter would take her if anything happened to me.

 

[debbie in seattle]

I was totally alone for the first time in my life this spring. I was married for almost 50 years and I've had all kinds of pets all my life. My last pet, Miss Kitty, passed away in January at the age of 20. My husband passed away in April and all of a sudden, mine was the only heartbeat in the house. I got 2 parakeets in June and they have been a great comfort. Always happy and playing. As soon as I can I want to get another cat.
I don't really know what I want or expect to happen after the virus is under control. I just take one day at a time. That's pretty much all any of us can do right now.