Is anybody in a new relationship?

My relationship is not new anymore, 2 years and 6 months now. My experience as a senior who is dating someone is not really much different than when I was young. Except the types of activities we do. Probably boring, but I cannot walk very well and it seems to have gotten worse. My boyfriend, Sonny, has many health conditions so he is limited too and he does not put demands on me to do things I just don't feel like doing. I hate being out at night or being in places that are crowded. So he accepts that about me. He is very social and has tons of friends and family.

At first, he wanted me to marry him or live with him (probably still does). I told him never again will I do that. Since he accepted that, he has grown to like it. Having his own place he can do his own thing and it works well for us. We do not see each other daily, a few times a week at the most. But it has kept our relationship passionate and new. We do talk on the phone every day. As soon as he wakes up in the morning, he calls me. We have had a lot of fun and go to activities in the day time but not much since this quarantine.

I am not sure if I answered your question or not. I would recommend senior dating if you are thinking about it.
 
Yes, I think some people will think they have lost those desires due to health conditions or lost of their spouse. So they never pursue it. If they meet someone they are attracted to though, it awakens those desires. I am not talking about physical attraction only, but it could be exchanging emails or messages also. That is how I got to know my boyfriend, on fakebook. I felt like a teenager the first time I met him in person. Before that I told myself I was done with men and I was not looking for another relationship. I wanted to be alone. So much for that! lol Age is not a factor.
 
MarciKS said:
Nope. And I don't plan to be. I no longer have any desire for love. All it does is hurt me in the end.
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There are still some irrepressible people out there, we seem to attract others to them all the time, or others whose charm attracts attention, without them appearing to try, or even when they are showing a reserved side to themselves.
The rest of will have to make do with whoever comes along, or as you suggest resign ourselves to the feeling it isn't going to happen in this lifetime, (do we get another though?). I'm in your boat therefore on this one, but might step out if enticed. :)!
 
Mr. Ed said:
I'm sorry for your pain. Do you socialize with friends?
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MarciKS said:
Nope. And I don't plan to be. I no longer have any desire for love. All it does is hurt me in the end.
Mr. Ed said:
I'm sorry for your pain. Do you socialize with friends?

Grahamg wrote:
Can I just ask how you are described by your friends?
(apologies, I cant manage the quotes very efficiently I'm afraid, but I hope you can follow why I've mangled them? 🥵)
 
grahamg said:
MarciKS said:
Nope. And I don't plan to be. I no longer have any desire for love. All it does is hurt me in the end.
Mr. Ed said:
I'm sorry for your pain. Do you socialize with friends?

Grahamg wrote:
Can I just ask how you are described by your friends?
(apologies, I cant manage the quotes very efficiently I'm afraid, but I hope you can follow why I've mangled them? 🥵)
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who's the question for?
 
Well, MarciKS, sometimes, and I do mean "sometimes", a person has to look in the mirror at themselves to understand why they get hurt in a relationship too much. Before marring for the 3rd time, I was single/divorced for 22 years and hated it. I had to figure out what I was doing wrong, when it came to relationships. Like the old saying goes, "it takes two to Tango" and I was simply picking the wrong women to have a relationship with. That is, until I was 49 and met my wife.
 
ClassicRockr said:
Well, MarciKS, sometimes, and I do mean "sometimes", a person has to look in the mirror at themselves to understand why they get hurt in a relationship too much. Before marring for the 3rd time, I was single/divorced for 22 years and hated it. I had to figure out what I was doing wrong, when it came to relationships. Like the old saying goes, "it takes two to Tango" and I was simply picking the wrong women to have a relationship with. That is, until I was 49 and met my wife.
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It's never anyone else's fault is it?
 
MarciKS said:
who's the question for?
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Well, you probably, but all of us sometimes learn something when good friends try to give us a hint about where we might want to think about our lives, based on their experience.

My friends realise how disorganised, long winded, though well intentioned I am, but I'm probably held back by those first two characteristics.

Another aspect I get criticised about sometimes is not concerning myself too much about my appearance, though I can scrub up fairly well occasionally, (my dad got the same criticism from my mum, and she said he didn't think people could see him, and I think I've got the same delusion!).
 
grahamg said:
Well, you probably, but all of us sometimes learn something when good friends try to give us a hint about where we might want to think about our lives, based on their experience.

My friends realise how disorganised, long winded, though well intentioned I am, but I'm probably held back by those first two characteristics.

Another aspect I get criticised about sometimes is not concerning myself too much about my appearance, though I can scrub up fairly well occasionally, (my dad got the same criticism from my mum, and she said he didn't think people could see him, and I think I've got the same delusion!).
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well that's just it...i don't get the luxury of an explanation. i get criticized for everything and anything so i kinda gave up.
 
ClassicRockr said:
In response or whatever, you did write it in Post #18.
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graham asked what my friends say about me (as in do they tell me what i'm doing wrong). i told him i don't get an explanation as to why they abandon me they just do. most of the time i get criticized for pretty much anything and everything i say and or do so i have basically given up trying. it's a tiresome effort to be what everyone wants you to be instead of being able to be free to be yourself.
 
katlupe said:
My relationship is not new anymore, 2 years and 6 months now. My experience as a senior who is dating someone is not really much different than when I was young. Except the types of activities we do. Probably boring, but I cannot walk very well and it seems to have gotten worse. My boyfriend, Sonny, has many health conditions so he is limited too and he does not put demands on me to do things I just don't feel like doing. I hate being out at night or being in places that are crowded. So he accepts that about me. He is very social and has tons of friends and family.

At first, he wanted me to marry him or live with him (probably still does). I told him never again will I do that. Since he accepted that, he has grown to like it. Having his own place he can do his own thing and it works well for us. We do not see each other daily, a few times a week at the most. But it has kept our relationship passionate and new. We do talk on the phone every day. As soon as he wakes up in the morning, he calls me. We have had a lot of fun and go to activities in the day time but not much since this quarantine.

I am not sure if I answered your question or not. I would recommend senior dating if you are thinking about it.
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Hi Katlupe: You know I have read a few books on seniors dating over the last few months. I just want to tell you that your & Sonny's relationship is not uncommon. There seem to be a lot of seniors that still have their own homes or apartments but get together for a few days each week. I guess it's the best of both worlds. You have a friend but you still have some time in your own space. I think I would like to try that some time when I find the "right" lady. Nice to hear a happy story regarding senior dating rather than "I'm finished with men" or I am now a nice church lady.
 
MarciKS said:
graham asked what my friends say about me (as in do they tell me what i'm doing wrong). i told him i don't get an explanation as to why they abandon me they just do. most of the time i get criticized for pretty much anything and everything i say and or do so i have basically given up trying. it's a tiresome effort to be what everyone wants you to be instead of being able to be free to be yourself.
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I very much agree with any of us trying to be ourselves, whenever we can.

I could qualify by saying there are maybe times when it might be worth just curving our natural reactions, (especially anger, mild annoyance, the odd sarcastic remark), because doing so might "oil the wheels" to ensure successful discourse.

I don't entirely believe your true friends would criticise you incessantly, but if they do, (just for fun), do you wish to reveal the unexpurgated thrust of their remarks?

I have one last cheeky thing to say, perhaps we could take each other under our respective wings, and as much as we can, (and of course all virtually), motivate, yes criticise, each become the others life style guru, that kind of thing, and see where it takes us...., you up for that? :)
 

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