The elderly don't need handling with kid gloves!

"An elderly (85) neighbour of ours pops in from time to time; my husband and I get on with her very well. She reminds me of my maternal Grandmother of whom I was fond. This lady has all her marbles and tells it like it is, which we like. I can be rude to her in a jokey way, and she to me, and we both think it hilarious. Yesterday when she came round she was saying that if she lost her ability to care for her own personal needs she wouldn't wish to live any longer. I told her to give me the heads up and I would be more than happy to put her out of her misery with a pillow over her face. She promised to be sure to let me know!
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As long as Justme was making a joke, I'm not offended by her humour. That's the sort of thing that my husband and his brother would say to one another. But of course, there are people that you could NEVER talk to like that. My mom for example would be totally offended and it wouldn't matter what your tone, body language or the context implied. But if I suggested the same to my oldest daughter who has fibromyalgia and suffers a great deal with it, I know for sure she'd enter into the spirit of the 'ribbing' and would give back as good as she got.

As in most things in life, you have to consider who your audience is no matter what you're saying.
 

Debby said:
"An elderly (85) neighbour of ours pops in from time to time; my husband and I get on with her very well. She reminds me of my maternal Grandmother of whom I was fond. This lady has all her marbles and tells it like it is, which we like. I can be rude to her in a jokey way, and she to me, and we both think it hilarious. Yesterday when she came round she was saying that if she lost her ability to care for her own personal needs she wouldn't wish to live any longer. I told her to give me the heads up and I would be more than happy to put her out of her misery with a pillow over her face. She promised to be sure to let me know!
biggrin.png
"
*******************

As long as Justme was making a joke, I'm not offended by her humour. That's the sort of thing that my husband and his brother would say to one another. But of course, there are people that you could NEVER talk to like that. My mom for example would be totally offended and it wouldn't matter what your tone, body language or the context implied. But if I suggested the same to my oldest daughter who has fibromyalgia and suffers a great deal with it, I know for sure she'd enter into the spirit of the 'ribbing' and would give back as good as she got.

As in most things in life, you have to consider who your audience is no matter what you're saying.
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Were my mother was concerned it wouldn't have been a joke, I would have meant it!
 
Justme said:
I was joking when I told her I would put a pillow over her, a joke she much appreciated. I agreed with her it wasn't worth living if you had to have personal care when you are old! Quality of life is much more important than quantity, and one should be able to take one's own life, with assistance if necessary, if it becomes a burden. I certainly don't apologise for thinking like that!
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I think that many of us feel that once the quality is gone, we may want to take our own lives too. My mother in law left me her Final Exit book, that she bought for tips, but she died naturally and didn't need it. Assisted suicide makes things a lot easier, hopefully it will be more readily available throughout the US.
 

Justme said:
Were my mother was concerned it wouldn't have been a joke, I would have meant it!
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My experience with this sort of thing was with my father-in-law..He was very gentle..but had been a miner all his life..he had silicosis.he would gasp for air..

When he was dying..I sat next to him...his face was blue..his mouth was wide open trying to breath...

And yes..I would have put a pillow over his face!!
 
I believe quality of life is very important and do support the right to choose assisted suicide. It's just not a topic I find humorous.
 
I like to be treated with respect, I don't want to be talked down to in any way though.I never like older people who think that because they are a certain age it gives them carte blanche to be rude to others, or demanding.
 
Old ladies can be especially pi$$y. I made the mistake once of inadvertantly cutting in front of a few waiting for a hair cut at Fantastic Sams one Saturday morning.. I thought they were going to drop tackle me..
 
Last year (I was 67 then) I had hip replacements and soon after surgery a very young physical therapist came to my house to do some PT. My daughter-in-law had come over to visit, and the PT, upon seeing my grey hair, began talking to my DIL over my head, as if I wasn't even there -- asking her if I could read my medicine bottles and understood my medications and whether or not I was incontinent.

I took offense, and looked her right in the eye and informed her that I was in the room, in case she had not noticed, and was neither incompetent nor incontinent and that any questions should be directed to ME. She continued to act like I was a cabbage, and I told her to leave my home and not to come back. I called the PT service and asked them to send someone who would treat me like a human being. They did, and we got along just fine.

I will not tolerate being treated like I'm senile, just because of my age. So there!! Besides, 67 (now 68) isn't even OLD, by today's standards.
 
QuickSilver said:
Old ladies can be especially pi$$y. I made the mistake once of inadvertantly cutting in front of a few waiting for a hair cut at Fantastic Sams one Saturday morning.. I thought they were going to drop tackle me..
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When I was a carer in sheltered housing most of my clients were quite pleasant, but one who was 93 when I met her became more and more demanding and angry. She was still very sharp and I loved her stories of the old days in Scotland. But she had macular degeneration and insisted something was wrong with her glasses prescription. Her hearing was bad and getting worse and refused to get a hearing aid. Insisted it was wax buildup. She was a challenge but I had come to love her as I did most of my clients after spending so much time with them.
 
Butterfly said:
Last year (I was 67 then) I had hip replacements and soon after surgery a very young physical therapist came to my house to do some PT. My daughter-in-law had come over to visit, and the PT, upon seeing my grey hair, began talking to my DIL over my head, as if I wasn't even there -- asking her if I could read my medicine bottles and understood my medications and whether or not I was incontinent.

I took offense, and looked her right in the eye and informed her that I was in the room, in case she had not noticed, and was neither incompetent nor incontinent and that any questions should be directed to ME. She continued to act like I was a cabbage, and I told her to leave my home and not to come back. I called the PT service and asked them to send someone who would treat me like a human being. They did, and we got along just fine.

I will not tolerate being treated like I'm senile, just because of my age. So there!! Besides, 67 (now 68) isn't even OLD, by today's standards.
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I'd be furious as well!! 67 is not old!
 
Ameriscot said:
I believe quality of life is very important and do support the right to choose assisted suicide. It's just not a topic I find humorous.
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Well I think the topic can be quite humorous, especially when my kids are working out which cliff to chuck me off when I get even more senile than I am now!:D:D:D
 
Outside of the medical situations, it's just as irritating when it comes to technology patronization. Once, when I was texting on my iphone,
my granddaughter's visiting friend exclaimed, "Oh, look at Grandma with the iphone!" (As in, isn't that cute?) It was all I could do not
to say to her, "Hey, I was programming computers before you were born, you little pipsqueak!"
 
Sunny said:
Outside of the medical situations, it's just as irritating when it comes to technology patronization. Once, when I was texting on my iphone,
my granddaughter's visiting friend exclaimed, "Oh, look at Grandma with the iphone!" (As in, isn't that cute?) It was all I could do not
to say to her, "Hey, I was programming computers before you were born, you little pipsqueak!"
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You should have said it! :D
 
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