'tis a question for all you Mommas, when can you stop worrying about your children?

Ruby Rose

Location: Canadian Prairies
I am not sure where to put this so will put it here. A while back I penned 'Matren Emeritus...a Mother retired...from worrying about her children'... seeing that they are all grown up and doing their thing...one a Policewoman, another Military and a third a Philosopher.
 

Gosh, Ruby... I've always been a worrywart when it came to my children, and honestly, I'm not sure if I worried more about them more when they were little, like as in when they started walking to school by themselves, etc, or when they got older and started driving, partying, etc.

I don't think a day passes where I don't think about and wonder what my kids are up to, and I always carry the thought with me... I hope they're okay.

I remember visiting with a neighbour one morning, and us talking about this very thing, and I remember telling her how much I enjoyed the baby and toddler stage, which seemed to take her aback somewhat, so I explained.

When my kids got into something they shouldn't, I was there to remove them from the situation, and when I needed to get a few things done in the home and not have to worry about my them, into their cribs and playpen they'd go, and as I was finishing explaining my side of things to my neighbour as why I felt the way I did, she was already nodding her head in approval.

We had full control, but once we seen them out the door, they were on their own, and it was up to them to reflect on the good guidance and teachings they received, to do the right thing, to chose between good and bad, right and wrong.
 
The thing is I have always felt the need to protect each and every one to this date...and get a lot of 'Oh Mom'...(especially from the policewoman and military.) The time when I worried the most was when they started dating! I always remembered my own Mother stating that she never fell asleep until she heard the last one come in and lock the door. I do believe I have inherited this trait. (did I mention I was an insomniac for a long time...just like my Mother). I, also, thoroughly enjoyed the baby and toddler stage and I fear I was a tad strict in some ways...had many lists of dos and don'ts part and parcel of working in a Paediatric Clinic before I got married, thus had armfuls of info on the task at hand. And, of course, coming from a large family, rules ruled.
 

The thing is I have always felt the need to protect each and every one to this date...and get a lot of 'Oh Mom'...(especially from the policewoman and military.) The time when I worried the most was when they started dating! I always remembered my own Mother stating that she never fell asleep until she heard the last one come in and lock the door. I do believe I have inherited this trait. (did I mention I was an insomniac for a long time...just like my Mother). I, also, thoroughly enjoyed the baby and toddler stage and I fear I was a tad strict in some ways...had many lists of dos and don'ts part and parcel of working in a Paediatric Clinic before I got married, thus had armfuls of info on the task at hand. And, of course, coming from a large family, rules ruled.
Well, I definitely inherited the "worry" gene from my mom, because she, too, worried about us all the time.

I remember my baby brother getting loosing track of time on day and as the clock ticked, mom went from worry, to being frantic, to seeing red. Finally out the door she went and she found him just a few blocks away from the school, playing in a large pile of raked-up leaves in a homeowners yard. Baby brother would have been around age 6 or 7 at the time.

Myself, I was fair but strict, so I know all about being firm, Ruby. The fair side of me would reason with my children, scold them, etc, whereas with my strict side they got a spanking, a grounding, or other measure of punishment/discipline that I felt was in order at the time.

I recall my mom laughing while telling me, but she used to make telephone calls to my friends mothers to check up on me, make sure I was where I told her I was going to be, and she did the same with my baby siblings.

Back in the 80's and 90's, when I had little ones running around, times were still pretty good, less worrisome than today for sure, but if I was raising little ones today, I'd be a basket-case.
 
I don't worry. He has a fantastic marriage and they both have steady, good jobs and are devoted to their son.

Of course, I worry about morose things from time to time but that's 'cause I'm morose, a character flaw. I let the sound of my own wheels drive me crazy. Working on that!
 
I will never stop worrying. I'm noticing the older I get the more I worry. Things I wouldn't have given a second thought about ten years ago put me in a tailspin.
I never let on that I worry so much because I would get the eyes rolling back in their heads or worse yet they wouldn't tell me things until after its over or if at all and not knowing would be the greatest worry of all.
 
I will never stop worrying. I'm noticing the older I get the more I worry. Things I wouldn't have given a second thought about ten years ago put me in a tailspin.
I never let on that I worry so much because I would get the eyes rolling back in their heads or worse yet they wouldn't tell me things until after its over or if at all and not knowing would be the greatest worry of all.
I get a statement like..."Do I look any different to you Momma?"...and this would be a few days after an incident while on the job. So naturally at that point there was nothing to see. All I got after that was 'good'. Living out here in the middle of nowhere, I am doing pretty good...ha ha, I worry about the horses , etc now and they don't mind one bit.
 
So true in many ways.

A family member was venting one day and said, "when are my parenting days going to end", and I told her, "never".

I followed up by saying, "once a parent, always a parent, it never goes away".
That's it in a nutshell...you will always be a parent...no matter what age you are and how far you live.
 
I would think we will always worry, which equates to “care” in my eyrs, about our kids. I don’t worry on a daily basis. They are all fine, middle aged, men and doing well in life. But I worry when I know they are traveling, and I worry when they are sick. Or if they lost their jobs, I would worry. And I find it kind of cute and heartwarming that now they worry about ME! 😂❤️
 
In all things I refuse to worry about things over which I have no control. I watch and wait, and should I be able to do something to help, I take action. I find that fruitless worry is destructive and I prefer to stay strong until the moment when I can be useful.

I raised our two children to be the captains of their own lives, knowing that I am here for them when needed. Both have made some mistakes and Hubby and I have been supportive through difficult times. Given that we are now grown old, it is their turn to guide their adult children and, watching over them all, I reckon we have done a pretty good job as parents (and grandparents) and I refuse to worry about any of them any more. They all know where to find me if they need me.
 
In all things I refuse to worry about things over which I have no control. I watch and wait, and should I be able to do something to help, I take action. I find that fruitless worry is destructive and I prefer to stay strong until the moment when I can be useful.

I raised our two children to be the captains of their own lives, knowing that I am here for them when needed. Both have made some mistakes and Hubby and I have been supportive through difficult times. Given that we are now grown old, it is their turn to guide their adult children and, watching over them all, I reckon we have done a pretty good job as parents (and grandparents) and I refuse to worry about any of them any more. They all know where to find me if they need me.
I admire your words and I deem you 'Matren Emeritus...a Mother retired'...from worrying about her children. As for me, I am really trying and most of the time put up a good front but alas, I know and my children know that I will always worry in my heart.
 
I will never stop worrying. I'm noticing the older I get the more I worry. Things I wouldn't have given a second thought about ten years ago put me in a tailspin.
I never let on that I worry so much because I would get the eyes rolling back in their heads or worse yet they wouldn't tell me things until after its over or if at all and not knowing would be the greatest worry of all.
I'm the same, Ruth.

Some things that might have set me off when I was younger, don't figure in now that I'm older, yet some things that never fazed me when I was younger, now have a way of turning me, along with my rocking chair upside-down. :)
 


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