I've seen my former foster son's father do the same to him and it's obviously effecting him. Right now, at 2 1/2, Collin is showing signs of depression. At some point that will change and he'll either become aggressive or timid. Can't say for sure but I suspect his father will encourage aggression.
They definately have self esteem issues. The drunk 'bully' here has grooming products all over the place. When he lived at home he almost 3 dozen bottles of product in one bathroom AND stuff in his rooms, boxes, bags etc. Ran out of places to put it. He would blow a gasket if you moved it. Then one day while prepping the house for sale and him whining all day they started sweating hair die. From a butt hat he turned deer in the head lights and bolted to the bathroom. Pathetic actually because their whole life is act complete w make up and costume.
First of all I must say I totally deplore bullies, for many reasons...I agree with some of the things said in this thread but disagree with others. Now, let me tell you about that boy in question who bullied my son. As we moved and years passed, he with a group of five (his support group/friends) showed up at a clinic I was working in (this was decades ago), and stated that the hospital told him to come. Then, he and his group went to the waiting room and sat down. He did not recognize me but I recognized him. I rushed to the lab to check the fax machine and sure enough one was just coming in from the hospital. This young man had attempted and failed to commit suicide. His issues had never left him. I wonder today whether he is still alive. Interestingly enough, he trained to be a wrestler. I still agree with the statement, "You are not born a bully...you learn to be a bully". Empathy will always be needed in this troubled world...I hope this fellow has dealt with his issues and found a better path.
Other than it being the view of the expert I found on a psychology website what proof can you point to demonstrating no child ever being born who was prone to bulling others, or with that aspect to their character?
It's a pity there isn't more advice for those living with a bully. People who have difficulty expressing themselves very often resort to bullying as a way to prove their dominance over others. How do you deal with such a person? Why aren't parents given more advice about how to cope with an aggressive toddler?
I'd suggest it isn't advice that really counts, because no one can really tell a parent how to love their own child can they, and there is little doubt in my mind this is the crucial element in all our lives, and I guess I'll keep insisting those who assume no child is born with the traits bred in them to bully others isn't choosing to face reality, (to take the argument to the extreme or "absurdia" one could then put forward the proposition all the monstrous figures from history could have been straightened out if their parents had a bit better advice to assist them!).
Collin's dad is in the picture? That doesn't seem healthy for you. Please be careful, I'm sure you are, just want to reinforce that.
Bullying can be defined many ways, as it’s a form of abuse be it towards other children, spouses and, of course, elders.
I have not been able to read this whole article, but I think it talks about predispositions in a survey of 1,500 children to being bullies:
He gets 2 overnight visits every week, one weekday and one weekend day, when he stays at Collin's mom's house. When Collin stays the weekend with me, usually Fri through Sun or Mon, both his parents are with him when they pick him up. Also, over the 30 months that Collin lived with me, both his parents had visitation; 2x/week for 2 hours; and those visits took place here at my home. They showed up sporadically when they were still struggling with their addiction, and then they stooped visiting altogether for many months, but that's another story. ANYWAY, I got to know the father a little bit. Polite guy, kind of soft-spoken, seemed to love his kids, but he didn't seem very bright. He didn't seem to know what he was doing (has no other children), and took direction from Collin's mom.
I must say I can't remember my two year old daughter being aggressive at all, hence the argument as to the trouble starting when she didn't learn at that age there were boundaries, or didnt learn there were consequences did not apply, (I doubt she's the only one no matter what Jordan Peterson might say on the matter)!
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Or "good parenting" sometimes, if you dont wish everyone's parenting putting under the microscope all the time, you have to leave it to individuals to do what is best for their own kids largely, and the children themselves will come to sift the good from the bad one day wont they, s long as its not too overdone(?).
The articles you linked to were interesting and the twin study eye-opening. I, and Peterson would agree, don't think every two-year-old is aggressive, just that as a demographic they are the most aggressive, so I should have clarified that. I would agree with the following statement from your first article:I must say I can't remember my two year old daughter being aggressive at all, hence the argument as to the trouble starting when she didn't learn at that age there were boundaries, or didnt learn there were consequences did not apply, (I doubt she's the only one no matter what Jordan Peterson might say on the matter)!
I would not predict or impose a personality type on such a young child. I had a terrible family life, as have many on the forum, and yet I have never been very aggressive. I was shy when younger, but when I realized the only people who were going to beat me were my parents, I outgrew that shyness.
I'm hopeful that his early up-bringing will always influence his behavior even if slightly.
He has a long way to go, as you know, lots will influence his behavior, but mostly his peers
Well said.
If you say so then I suppose I must accept it, but just let me say I don't think I've witnessed any bullying on your behalf!
