Miscommunication

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
I find it interesting how we can miscommunicate both orally and in writing with the recipient of the spoken or written word completely misunderstanding the meaning. My ex wife for many years would console someone and say "I am so sorry" when they used the expression that they had "LUCKED OUT'. She thought that they had run out of luck and of course as most Americans would know, that's not what it means. My wife, being a native of New Zealand was unfamiliar with the expression. There are many examples in my marriage that have lead to an argument because of miscommunication. It happens on this Forum on a fairly regular basis and makes me wonder how, even with interpreters, the United Nations was ever able to function.
Much of the miscommunication is due to Cultural and Social differences.
 

Lucked out always meant got lucky, American here.
 

I only knew this through reading books set in the US. It's true Lon, even though we all speak one language on here, we can often misunderstand a post.
 
Once we are restricted to communicating in text we lose the hand motions, the voice inflections, the general posture of the speaker and misunderstandings become commonplace.
 
It's easy to misunderstand on forums as we can't hear a tone of voice or see the facial expression. If people would use the 'smilies' to indicate sarcasm, etc. and the reader would look at the intention of the poster before jumping to conclusions, all forums would run more smoothly.
 
I think we could all do a better job of anticipating how our readers might misinterpret what we are trying to say. My pet peeve is the careless use of pronouns leaving the subject or object not clearly indicated.
 
Ameriscot said:
It's easy to misunderstand on forums as we can't hear a tone of voice or see the facial expression. If people would use the 'smilies' to indicate sarcasm, etc. and the reader would look at the intention of the poster before jumping to conclusions, all forums would run more smoothly.
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I totally agree..:)
 
Not even country to country but even just between one state to another, rural vs. urban, it is amazing. We are forthright and blunt in NY and talk loud and fast, that reads rude to other Americans. I find it comes through even in forums where the loud and fast can't be heard.

True story: on the bus in Denver one autumn, I was reminiscing to my daughter about the fall leaves in NY and all the colors they turn. Fall in CO is boring. The leaves turn yellow and fall off the trees and it takes about three days so I was missing NY. Someone overheard and said, you're from NY; I'm from NY. Perfectly acceptable behavior between NY'ers. Soon there were a half dozen people all over the bus sharing they were transplanted NY'ers and which part of NY we were all from (from NYC to Buffalo and every point in between) and excitedly sharing things we missed -- while the Colorado natives sat there silently non-plused at how we were disrupting the whole bus. In NY, you yak with strangers at the bus stop; in Denver, if you said good morning, they acted like you were going to mug them. Yes, even with a little girl right there with you.

I think cultural differences like this fall into play too and also cause problems in public forums on-line. We NY'ers have a reputation for being rude because what we perceive as polite is culturally rude elsewhere. We find it rude to try and talk to someone to pass the time while waiting for a bus and only get the cold shoulder from them!
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Not even country to country but even just between one state to another, rural vs. urban, it is amazing. We are forthright and blunt in NY and talk loud and fast, that reads rude to other Americans. I find it comes through even in forums where the loud and fast can't be heard.

True story: on the bus in Denver one autumn, I was reminiscing to my daughter about the fall leaves in NY and all the colors they turn. Fall in CO is boring. The leaves turn yellow and fall off the trees and it takes about three days so I was missing NY. Someone overheard and said, you're from NY; I'm from NY. Perfectly acceptable behavior between NY'ers. Soon there were a half dozen people all over the bus sharing they were transplanted NY'ers and which part of NY we were all from (from NYC to Buffalo and every point in between) and excitedly sharing things we missed -- while the Colorado natives sat there silently non-plused at how we were disrupting the whole bus. In NY, you yak with strangers at the bus stop; in Denver, if you said good morning, they acted like you were going to mug them. Yes, even with a little girl right there with you.

I think cultural differences like this fall into play too and also cause problems in public forums on-line. We NY'ers have a reputation for being rude because what we perceive as polite is culturally rude elsewhere. We find it rude to try and talk to someone to pass the time while waiting for a bus and only get the cold shoulder from them!
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Great post and I totally agree. I grew up in New Jersey and Colorado and you are spot on about the leaves.
 
Lon said:
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Great post and I totally agree. I grew up in New Jersey and Colorado and you are spot on about the leaves.
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Isn't it terrible what passes for autumn there? We moved to Denver when my daughter was three so she didn't remember a lot about NY. I told her about all the colors -- yellow, oranges, etc. but missed one. We moved back to NY when she was 12 and first fall back, she stops short and picks up a leaf and exclaims, "You didn't tell me there were red ones!" She was so amazed. :) Fall is now her favorite season; it always has been mine.
 
Blaze Duskdreamer said:
Isn't it terrible what passes for autumn there? We moved to Denver when my daughter was three so she didn't remember a lot about NY. I told her about all the colors -- yellow, oranges, etc. but missed one. We moved back to NY when she was 12 and first fall back, she stops short and picks up a leaf and exclaims, "You didn't tell me there were red ones!" She was so amazed. :) Fall is now her favorite season; it always has been mine.
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I grew up in NY and particularly loved autumn. I agree with and understand the no leaf burning ordinances, but when I was a young kid in the late 1930s people commonly burned leaves and strange as it may sound now I loved the smell of burning leaves. Still do.
 
They say that America and Britain are two countries divided by a common language ...

Sidewalk ... Pavement
Pavement ... Street
Hood ... Bonnet
Trunk ... Boot
Gas ... Petrol

... and there must be many more.
 
I'll admit I'm getting a bit off track fussing about pronunciation but still
evolution
[ev-uh-loo-shuh n or, esp. British, ee-vuh-]
I just can't understand the British pronunciation of this first vowel. Where do they get it?
 
Growing up in religiously cloistered Utah and escaping was a cultural shock. I'm outgoing, talkative and a people watcher. My kids and wife marvel at my ability to strike up a conversation in the most unusual places. Buffet lines, doctor offices, check outlines in a store. But on one trip to the Amish area of PA (numbering 4 now) and our usual visit to the 'Good and Plenty' we had one extremely uncomfortable meal. We were sitting across from a family of 6 or 7 that were stone cold silent all through the meal. I finally pried a little information from one of the teenagers, they were from NYC. I only have them to compare with but I assumed wrongly they were an example of the general population of NYC. I realize I shouldn't group all residents since they probably wouldn't have been very sociable anywhere else.

My daughter lived in Ft. Collins, CO for several years and we also found that the general population was very aloof and judgmental. They are into granola bars, driving fast and jogging with their black labs (I think that the 'Welcome Wagon' brings you a black lab puppy when they welcome you as a new resident!). I thought that Estes Park and the surrounding area would equal anything I seen in the fall in the Northeastern US, but that's just my opinion. Also I would have trouble dismissing the fall drive from my home town in N. Utah along US 89 into and around the Tetons and Yellowstone Park.
 
I find the hardest place to get along is on the net. No matter what I say, it seems to be taken wrong. I can't express myself because they can't see the smile on my face, so they assume I am upset or something.
 

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