Officerripley. I apologize that I missed on my timing in replying to you in this thread. I am very sorry to hear you are struggling with the loss and recent diagnosis of your husbands brother.
I find words do nothing for me, nor does silence, but knowing other have been through such, and knowing others care, has always provided me with the most comfort of all.
My adage (for years) has been... "one day at a time", and do the best you can to live one day at a time. Don't even plan for tomorrow, just live for today, do the best you can, and go to bed with it in your mind that tomorrow will be a better day.
Death and seeing people suffer as a result of illness never get's easy, and time doesn't heal either IMO. What time does is it simply teaches us how to live with the pain, that's where my adage "one day at a time" come into play.
You are in my thoughts.