Defining "Friendship"

QuickSilver said:
Cautiously...... I have many many acquaintances... but only one or two folks I would call close friends.. It's much safer that way
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Same here, I have very few that I consider to be real friends and they have been so for a good decade or quarter century at the very least at this point. These are people I can talk with about anything, be anything, they care about me inspite of my faults and they never turn their back on me, no matter what my issues and vice versa.
 

Friends have obligations to each other, such as talking regularly, maybe getting
together, having each other's phone number--unless there's a strong reason
why they cannot be shared. Usually some feeling of concern for the other is present.
They care for each other's health or well-being, at least minimally. At least you wish no
harm to the other.

Acquaintances have no obligations to each other. They do not even have
to greet each other in passing. They can walk away in the middle of a
conversation without even saying goodbye. You might not even care if
you see the other person again. No commitment at all.
 
OOps, did not mean to post twice but merely to correct my spelling of devastated.Some of my friends MAY take me to the airport, but as to the other things........
 
oakapple said:
OOps, did not mean to post twice but merely to correct my spelling of devastated.Some of my friends MAY take me to the airport, but as to the other things........
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I actually meant to highlight the airport part when I responded. LOL, that's the real test of a friendship, the other stuff, Meh. LOL, you have strangers that would do those things in a pinch.

In all reality, there are degrees of friendships, I have several friends that I wouldn't classify as close friends and I also wouldn't put them in the category of acquaintances, but they are friends nonetheless, I just wouldn't count on them the way I would my close friends.
 
A real friend for me is someone that will kick me up the butt if I need it, a real friend will be honest with me and never just say 'the right' thing. A real friend to me is someone who will put the friendship at risk rather than see me make some really bad choices. A real friend to me is someone who will know when to step back and let me find my way and will put cushions down in case I fall and then holds out their hand so I can pull myself upright again. They will laugh with me, not at me, they will cry with me and for me. They will respect themselves and know their worth and command that I value them as such. I have had two such friends in my life as I describe, there is nothing they don't know about me and vice versa and I trust them with my life and have done. That trust was never broken. I love them both dearly.
 
I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man. I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.
 
Shalimar said:
I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man. I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.
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Oh my God, Shalimar! This brings tears to my eyes just reading it. Your friend made the ultimate sacrifice for you and your baby. I'm speechless.
 
Shalimar said:
I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man. I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.
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Brings tears to my eyes as well!
 
Shalimar said:
I had a friend like that. Thirty-three years ago, two days before my child was due to be born, my friend and I were crossing the crosswalk with the light. Suddenly, a car careened toward us. Too ungainly to move, I simply stared. My friend, with cat-like reflexes, shoved me out of the way, and took the hit in the chest. He died later that afternoon, never regaining consciousness. My son, Jesse, bears his name. Oddly enough, his family tell me that my son exhibits many of the same personality traits as their former family member. Greater love has no man. I still can't tell this story without tears. All I can do is try to pay it forward.
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My Gawd! What a touching story. A true hero your friend! I know how it must affect you. Thanks for sharing that sad drama with us!
 
Thank you Jim, and Ameriscot, for your,support. This story has a happy twist. From the time he was three, until he hit puberty, my son spoke of the silver man who would visit him in his dreams, offering comfort when needed. I did not think much of it, in a family of poets, anything is possible. Lollolllol! Approximately three years ago, the brother of Jesse's lifelong best friend, Jon Ng, died of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. He was not yet thirty. Jesse was deeply affected,but to his, and my amazement, the silver man returned to comfort him yet again. The strange thing is, this time he has stayed, to keep my agnostic son company.
odd,but very beautiful, I think.
 
Shalimar, your story of the silver man is beautiful and your son is very lucky to still have him in his life. What a miraculous happening that your friend saved you and your son and gave up his own life --- very inspiring and thought provoking for me. Thanks for sharing that.
 

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