Is it ever acceptable to dislike someone?

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Larry67

New Member
If you're not being sexist, racist, agist, or homophobic and you still think a person is a real scumbag is that permitted?
 

I don’t approve of the way many people behave or treat others. I attempt to distance myself from them, but I don’t waste much if any emotional energy on them.

Hating someone usually takes more of a toll on the hater than the hated.

In most cases the person or group doesn’t even realize your feelings towards them.
 
Larry67 said:
If you're not being sexist, racist, agist, or homophobic and you still think a person is a real scumbag is that permitted?
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Dislike is not hatred. Hatred is a very angry emotional response to certain people or ideas. Hatred is often associated with intense feelings of anger and disgust. In extreme cases hatred can lead to murder.
Dislike is a feeling of not liking something or someone.

Both hatred and dislike have varying degrees of intensity that can cause trouble if the sufferer is unable to keep them under control. It's probably why discussing politics is prohibited, nothing like a political row to get hot under the collar.
 
If someone gets to the shelf ahead of me in the supermarket and grabs the last one of the item I was after......I definitely dislike them, but if someone get to the freezer, ahead of me and takes the last one of my favourite tubs of ice cream.....I hate the b*****rd. 😊
 
timoc said:
If someone gets to the shelf ahead of me in the supermarket and grabs the last one of the item I was after......I definitely dislike them, but if someone get to the freezer, ahead of me and takes the last one of my favourite tubs of ice cream.....I hate the b*****rd. 😊
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I can understand your point.
 
We are all, even the sexist, racist, homophobic and those with religious biases entitled to our feelings. What is crucial is how we behave toward others, even those we feel are 'scumbags'. Wherever our feelings fall on the spectrum of dislike to 'hatred' they do not entitle us to rage publicly, keeping in mind there is a difference between fact based criticism and just plain hate speech, and the criticism should be specific to other person's behavior not dragging in prejudicial statements about whatever demographic group(s) they belong to. Nor does it excuse discrimination in banking, housing, employment.

IMO, what our feelings do entitle us to is to disengage as much as the circumstances of our knowing them allows. We are not obligated to interact socially with people we have negative feelings about whether it's a gut instinct about someone we've just met or a family member we feel is toxic. I feel we should strive to be civil, tho some make that difficult, and being human i have not always suceeded in doing so.

Online, i tend to reserve judgement a little longer, because the medium is a factor and there is less risk to me if they are as 'bad' as i think/feel. In person i've learned to trust my instincts.
 
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There are definitely some actors that I dislike and when I see they're in a movie I'm thinking about watching, I'm definitely biased against watching it. That said, occasionally, I change my mind about them. Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey are at the top of my list of actors I don't like. They're just so in love with themselves that it's repulsive.

Edit: We should all love ourselves, but maybe limit public displays of affection when it comes to self-love.
 
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Larry67 said:
If you're not being sexist, racist, agist, or homophobic and you still think a person is a real scumbag is that permitted?
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How you feel about someone is a "feeling" and denying our feelings does not work very well. Our feelings will be what they are, but how we act on our feelings is a decision we can make.

I believe we should be respectful to everyone. I do my best to be respectful and make a fast exit if I am not comfortable with someone. Unfortunately, many of my neighbors are Christians and I am not comfortable with them. Granted it is easier to be respectful to them, than someone who is a scumbag, but I am unlikely to become friends with a Christian. That has gotten worse for me since Trump and then covid. My emotions seem to be supercharged.

It can be awkward to be respectful to someone I really rather avoid and have that person think I like them. But if we want to be like Jesus, I think we do need to treat others well. I have seen kindness having a very positive effect on others and I have had my times when I really need kindness.
 
feywon said:
We are not obligated to interact socially with people we have negative feelings about whether it's a gut instinct about someone we've just met or a family member we feel is toxic.
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Unfortunately, here in some states in the U.S. (mine is one), there are actual laws that you do have to interact--okay, maybe not "socialize"--with certain family members. For instance, here in Calif. there is a real law that you have to financially support your parents if they can prove they need it and you're over 18. (When enforced, this of course saves the state $$.) So, you might not have to socialize with that family member, but you most likely would have to interact. So family ties and blood relations can sometimes make ideal behavior hard to practice. (One should always at least try, of course.)
 
officerripley said:
Unfortunately, here in some states in the U.S. (mine is one), there are actual laws that you do have to interact--okay, maybe not "socialize"--with certain family members. For instance, here in Calif. there is a real law that you have to financially support your parents if they can prove they need it and you're over 18. (When enforced, this of course saves the state $$.) So, you might not have to socialize with that family member, but you most likely would have to interact. So family ties and blood relations can sometimes make ideal behavior hard to practice. (One should always at least try, of course.)
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I have a 1940 Oregon Family Law, that contains laws about family being responsible for family. Among the laws is one that says a woman can work for pay if she can do this and accomplish all her family obligations too. Evidently, if she neglects her family, the husband can use the law to force her to stop working. When she does work for pay, she can keep her money and doesn't have to give it to her husband. The priority was the family and family taking care of family. Imagine ending welfare and returning to family law.
 
As noted there is a broad spectrum between like and dislike, prefer or avoid, of people with much not requiring any emotional reaction to but rather mere categorization. For instance there is a broad spectrum of personal habits from acceptable to unacceptable that I may react to in a wide range of ways with most unemotional and much depends on specific situations. Generally I flow away from negatives.

For instance a person that snores at night, I'll avoid and not like the sound though is not something I would hold against such a person. A person that swears with F!@# this and that, I will also tend to flow away from for personal activities while at workplaces will expect a wide range of habits and characters for the sake of teamwork and acting professionally. Though we humans continuously subtly judge people, in public we need to generally be accepting of a wide range of other strangers without being too judgmental though will certainly have thresholds above which, yes I do not like that. An example of a stranger I will not like with emotion of disgust is someone littering the environment with trash, especially tossing items like fast food wrappers and cups out their car window. And yes I would hold that against such people.
 
I don't like Chairman Mao, Adolf Hitler nor Joseph Stalin. Absolutely no reason why I should apologize for not liking those turkeys. My theory is that 95% of the people are just normal, everyday guys & gals trying to make a living, raise a family and pay their bills. It's the other 5% that I'm scared of. The crazes that rape women, murder other people, molest little children and try to break into your home. Oh yes, that includes the "white collar" criminals that hide their money offshore, loan sharks of all kinds and those that are trying to steal your money while you are on the internet or try to phone you at home. If you really want to see some bad people, usually they hang around on your 6 o'clock news and that includes questionable politicians!
 
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Is it ever acceptable to dislike someone?​


Don't know
I've yet to dislike or hate anyone
It's just not in me

Doesn't mean I like what they do or say
I tend to not hang with those folks
 

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