Do Men Really Not Care if They're Liked?

feywon said:
I disagree, i think females are more conditioned (programmed, brainwashed?) Into needing to be liked. By family members, teachers, employers. The same behaviors get labeled differently in some familes: a boy who won't give up his position on something may be labeled 'persistent', if his sister behaves thw same she is called stubborn. Since one has positive connotations and the other negative it is not even necessary, tho the family may verbalize that stubborn is unattractive in a 'girl'.
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I'm not so sure about that. I would agree that, through the ages, males have been trained to use their natural aggression to dominate, and females have been trained to limit their natural tendency to nurture to raising kids and caring for their husbands, but girls (and women) are way more stubborn than boys (and men).
 
Murrmurr said:
I'm not so sure about that. I would agree that, through the ages, males have been trained to use their natural aggression to dominate, and females have been trained to limit their natural tendency to nurture to raising kids and caring for their husbands, but girls (and women) are way more stubborn than boys (and men).
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I don't see a natural tendency to nurture husbands except not doing so earns a punch or a shove. Kids, ok; but taking care of adults is being taken by the situation.
 
Very interesting thoughts from everyone; thanks. I started the discussion because I've noticed that my Huzz and several of his friends and one as-close-as-a-brother cousin all seem to admire--from the way they talk anyway--people (some famous, some they know IRL, locals) who have come right out and said that they couldn't care less if anybody likes them, they just want to be maybe respected but certainly feared, that that's the only way to succeed and "get things done" in this world. And I see that a lot online too, people admiring the same "qualities", i.e. ruthlessness.
 
officerripley said:
Very interesting thoughts from everyone; thanks. I started the discussion because I've noticed that my Huzz and several of his friends and one as-close-as-a-brother cousin all seem to admire--from the way they talk anyway--people (some famous, some they know IRL, locals) who have come right out and said that they couldn't care less if anybody likes them, they just want to be maybe respected but certainly feared, that that's the only way to succeed and "get things done" in this world. And I see that a lot online too, people admiring the same "qualities", i.e. ruthlessness.
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They sound like jerks.
 
officerripley >>>"Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?"

should be: Do [some] men really [sometimes] not care if they're liked [by those they know well] and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?

Wondered how members would reply haha. The OP's question is a bit click baitish as one will expect most to respond denying such a narrow behavior. Reality is most of us with our heads screwed onto the right place, neither like nor dislike the majority of strangers we meet, but given fairness are rather neutral, only slightly categorizing new acquaintances. In our adult workplaces and out in public, this is much more so in order to show mature, professional interpersonal communications.

Now with personal friends, relatives, close job work mates, and possible romantic acquaintances, the question has more to discuss. True for some but in any case much depends on specific circumstance. In most situations, respect is all that is important, not liking or disliking.
 
officerripley said:
Very interesting thoughts from everyone; thanks. I started the discussion because I've noticed that my Huzz and several of his friends and one as-close-as-a-brother cousin all seem to admire--from the way they talk anyway--people (some famous, some they know IRL, locals) who have come right out and said that they couldn't care less if anybody likes them, they just want to be maybe respected but certainly feared, that that's the only way to succeed and "get things done" in this world. And I see that a lot online too, people admiring the same "qualities", i.e. ruthlessness.
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Ruthlessness is a whole 'nother thing, imo. But men are definitely taught that sometimes you have to be ruthless to get ahead.
 
Pepper said:
They are not called 'bitches' for doing so. At least that's what I've heard. šŸ˜‰
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You heard right. In fact, some of them are called kings of their industry. And usually they could attract members of the opposite sex based on their "achievements" alone....if by achievements you mean money, in which case we're alluding to a different kind of "bitches".

:p
 
I'm basing my answer on my husband, father, brothers and guys that I've worked with but from I've seen generally, I think men are less caring about being liked than women are. I think women, generally, have a different view of the people around them, relationships and how that all interconnects. I think women are more likely to do and say things (or NOT do or say things) in order to be liked by a broader range of people than men are.

Not saying this is good or bad, just what I have seen.
 
David777 said:
officerripley >>>"Do men really not care if they're liked and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?"

should be: Do [some] men really [sometimes] not care if they're liked [by those they know well] and only want to be respected (and sometimes, feared) as almost all the men I've known have said? Or is it an act to maybe feel or appear to be more manly?

Wondered how members would reply haha. The OP's question is a bit click baitish as one will expect most to respond denying such a narrow behavior. Reality is most of us with our heads screwed onto the right place, neither like nor dislike the majority of strangers we meet, but given fairness are rather neutral, only slightly categorizing new acquaintances. In our adult workplaces and out in public, this is much more so in order to show mature, professional interpersonal communications.

Now with personal friends, relatives, close job work mates, and possible romantic acquaintances, the question has more to discuss. True for some but in any case much depends on specific circumstance. In most situations, respect is all that is important, not liking or disliking.
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Unfortunately, too many people think 'respect' is the same as 'fear.'
 

Do Men Really Not Care if They're Liked?​


Never gave it much thought

Lived at our mountain cabin for approaching six years.
Lotsa renegades
Didn't much care whether they liked me or not
Actually, I preferred they didn't

Up there, not many of us pushed the 'like' button
The dislike button was generally 12 gauge

Up there, a recluse gave me something.....a bit of a gift
An unusually shaped maddox I'd admired
He never ever gave noboby nuthin'
So, guess he liked me
THAT....meant something to me
Very much

An unusual ol' dude
Not a renegade, per se
More a hermit
He never visited anyone
Kept to his self
So, when he'd come down to my cabin. it was quite the honor
When he was done visiting, he'd just turn....and walk away
No 'bye' no nuthin'
Thought it was a bit odd at the time
But got to admiring that
Got to thinking folks overdo the g'byes

As far as folks in general?
I guess it'd be good to be liked
Not earth shattering either way

Let you analysts play with that

Don't much care
 
Aneeda72 said:
As you know I live I Utah as well. When we moved back to our town I was excited. Then there was a kidnaping, three streets over, and murder later. Then there was a murder, one street over. Glad I sold the house. No place is safe.
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Utah is not monolithic! I know in the more populated areas things are different. Hope you are in a place you feel safe now.
 
Gary O' said:
@officerripley
Curious, why the 'sad'
To me, it's not sad or happy...it just is
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Oh, I guess because I think being liked is great and hard for some of us to accomplish or live without and it seems cold to not care at all if someone likes you; humans spent hundreds of thousands of years evolving into societies (the hunter/gatherer tribes we lived in for at least 25,000 years) wherein you had to at least get along with and probably preferably like/be liked by the people you lived in such quarters with. So it seems like the loner lifestyle is going to feel unnatural for most of us. I don't mean unnatural as in good or evil, right or wrong; I mean as in what naturally worked the best for humans for thousands of years and still does for most of us.

Also the joke about the dislike button being a 12 gauge? I'm assuming that's a gun? So, yeah, I find guns (and any other deadly weapons: knives, gallows, guillotines, crosses, electric chairs, etc.) to be sad and scary. (I know, I know, it's only the gun owners who are the scary ones not the guns themselves but the guns and jokes about 'em ( o_O) are scary to me; I just find death to be sad and unfunny. But that's just me.)
 
officerripley said:
So, yeah, I find guns (and any other deadly weapons: knives, gallows, guillotines, crosses, electric chairs, etc.) to be sad and scary. (I know, I know, it's only the gun owners who are the scary ones not the guns themselves but the guns and jokes about 'em ( o_O) are scary to me; I just find death to be sad and unfunny. But that's just me.)
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Yeah, seems you and I are at opposite ends on that.
Where I come from, you don't have a gun, yer in trouble, big time

As far as gun ownership?
No, it's not a laughing matter

guns.jpg
 

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