What has surprised you the most about life?

Ronni said:
This is fascinating because I feel exactly the opposite, life has gotten simpler and simpler as I’ve aged.

I think though that has come about for me as I’ve become more self aware and realized a couple of things which have become fundamental to my approach to life.

One is that I’m an over thinker. I have a tendency to over-think every damn thing! Which of COURSE is going to complicate even the simplest thoughts, decisions and choices. Lessening my impulse to overthink has created more simplicity in my life.

The other thing is that I’ve realized I can control NO ONE but myself. Thinking I can, feeling compelled to try and manage others, even though my intention is just to be helpful, is inappropriate and frustrating and none of my business! My only business lies in controlling myself, in not letting my knee jerk reactions become my actual response, in keeping my nose out of others’ affairs.

As an aside, it DOES help that my own personal give-a-damn broke a few years back so I no longer care what others think of me, and there’s an immense amount of liberation in that! 😂❤️
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All of this resonates with me very much. I was going to comment on the last paragraph, but while trying to find the words, I have to agree with that one too.
 

DebraMae said:
I would think it would be worse in the city. There is always the peer pressure and all the things you see around you that you are unable to have, or to do.
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You would think so. I grew up in Chicago. Those were my formative years. I didn't like it and left for Montana when I was 17, where I made many new friends in a comfortable new niche. But local society changed as I got older. In mid life, I became friends with a couple from a big city who had moved to the area. Now these were country folk at heart, and eventually moved on to the Alaskan bush country.

But we were talking about the differences between city and country, and they observed that, "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did." That did not reflect the formative years I remembered in Chicago, and I still puzzle today over whether they nailed an actual difference, or just a personal experience.

Maybe part of it has to do with what part of life you are in. Although, I cannot imagine ever living in a big city ever again, as attractive as they made it sound, but from which those friends of mine escaped anyway.
 

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Have been mulling this over as i read and responded to the comments of others. Usually when questions like this are asked i'm flooded with thoughts and feelings and can easily answer. But not this time.

Perhaps because i had few expectations, few things surprised me and what did was usually pleasant: That an adult or peer really saw and heard me (1 aunt on each side of family, paternal grandma, a couple of teachers, my best friend from junior year high school on.); First husband's ability to control his temper during my pregnancy; Finding out years later that not only had someone thought better of me then i imagined but something i said or did that was standard for me had helped them in some way.

Might be just a semantic issue but while the timing of two deaths (DH #1 in'78 & Mom in '85) shocked me they i would not have called them surprising.
 
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@JustDave related someone he knew saying "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did." True, but there's an up and downside to that.

In NYC in late 1960s i watched several people go around and a few of them step right over a body on a sidewalk. He was clearly not a homeless person, as he was dressed in business attire, good suit and tie. Won't bore y'all with details but i made the clerk at nearest store call for paramedics. On another note police were actually recommending women being assaulted scream 'FIRE' not 'RAPE' or 'HELP' because self-interest that a fire might spread and effect a better motivation for them to call.

Rural living may vary by locale, but while some might gossip about you they'll usually lend a hand when needed. i've heard one is newcomer for years in New England, in the Bible Belt they often welcome you, but that may be in part gather info. Here in my little community people have been friendly and helpful but not intrusive.
 
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feywon said:
@JustDave related someone he knew saying "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did." True, but there's an up and downside to that.

In NYC in late 1960s i watched several people go around and a few of them step right over a body on a sidewalk. He was clearly not a homeless person, as he was dressed in business attire, good suit and tie. Won't bore y'all with details but i made the clerk at nearest store call for paramedics. On another note police were actually recommending women being assaulted scream 'FIRE' not 'RAPE' or 'HELP' because self-interest that a fire might spread and effect a better motivation for them to call.

Rural living may vary by locale, but while some might gossip about you they'll usually lend a hand when needed. i've heard one is newcomer for years in New England, in the Bible Belt they often welcome you, but that may be in part gather info. Here in my little community people have been friendly and helpful but not intrusive.
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I think you are right about all of this. My story was strictly anecdotal and not meant to be a universal truth. Personal experiences seldom have universal truth in them.
 
feywon said:
@JustDave related someone he knew saying "In the city people minded their own business, and didn't care what others did." True, but there's an up and downside to that.

In NYC in late 1960s i watched several people go around and a few of them step right over a body on a sidewalk. He was clearly not a homeless person, as he was dressed in business attire, good suit and tie. Won't bore y'all with details but i made the clerk at nearest store call for paramedics. On another note police were actually recommending women being assaulted scream 'FIRE' not 'RAPE' or 'HELP' because self-interest that a fire might spread and effect a better motivation for them to call.

Rural living may vary by locale, but while some might gossip about you they'll usually lend a hand when needed. i've heard one is newcomer for years in New England, in the Bible Belt they often welcome you, but that may be in part gather info. Here in my little community people have been friendly and helpful but not intrusive.
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All so very True.. and you're absolutely right, even here in the city where I grew up , women were told to scream FIRE instead of Rape.. for the same reasons as you gave
 
JustDave said:
I think you are right about all of this. My story was strictly anecdotal and not meant to be a universal truth. Personal experiences seldom have universal truth in them.
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True. My village is a good fit for DD and myself. Others might feel isolated, but we know folks we can ask if need help. And fences so far from our houses we talk more when cross paths publicly. Which means if anyone being overly chatty it is easier to make an excuse to bow out.
 
hollydolly said:
I am not kidding Pinks..I cried on my 30th Birthday.. I'm not a snowflake , lol.. there was other things that had gone wrong at that time too.. but I really felt I was over the hill now I was 30... :ROFLMAO:
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My 25th birthday was when I felt I was over the hill. Turning 30 didn't bother me at all.

What surprised me about life was how life-changing events could happen, totally unexpectedly. Whenever I make big changes in my life, I wonder whether they will turn out to be a wonderful life-changing event.
 
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DebraMae said:
Will you give me a little clarification on what you mean?
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First of all, I feel like it is beyond comprehension that there is a universe with a small planet that is teaming with life. I was first surprised about this after my Mother died when I was 13. She existed and then she didn't. Where did she go.? Was she ever really here? The whole thing is an absolute mystery, and I doubt we will understand existence for 1000's of years even if we make it through the Anthropocene age.

Secondly we are discovering that existence is mostly made of space, and that the "material" things like quarks and other forces might not even be physical as we understand it. So, put together this "life" in and of itself is the biggest surprise.
 
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Paco Dennis said:
First of all, I feel like it is beyond comprehension that there is a universe with a small planet that is teaming with life. I was first surprised about this after my Mother died when I was 13. She existed and then she didn't. Where did she go.? Was she ever really here? The whole thing is an absolute mystery, and I doubt we will understand existence for 1000's of years even if we make it through the Anthropocene age.

Secondly we are discovering that existence is mostly made of space, and that the "material" things like quarks and other forces that might not even be physical as we understand it. So, put together this "life" in and of itself is the biggest surprise.
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Thanks. Greater minds than mine will be debating this for a long time, I am sure. What is life? I had a similar thought when my Mother died. I looked around at all of her "things" that still existed, and she did not. It was inconceivable. Perhaps she still exists somewhere, perhaps not. Some say we will know when we die. I am not so sure.
 
In my case, how wonderful it's been. I'll be 89 come December, my wife is 86 and if we both live
'til next Feb.we'll have been married for 67 years.
13 grandkids and 14 great grands. All but one of the grandkids live within a 2 hour driving distance so visits, Holidays, illness and such tend to bring us all together.
I've been retired for 30 years and they have been good and happy years.

I guess my greatest move was meeting and marrying that young 17 yr' old girl now known as "Gram" , to our big crowd of off-spring.
 
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