Cutting ties with toxic people in your life. Sometimes it is necessary, even with relatives.

LadyEmeraude said:
Whether it is friends, or family, cutting ties is easier for some than others. For others it can be ultimately painful.
Getting to the point where one realizes cutting ties does need to happen...
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Yep, it is.

I've been lucky, only had to do this once with a family member. A few others, but not very important people.
 
It's a tough decision to make and I am sorry you had to make it but I understand. Can't allow toxic people to hold us back in moving forward with our lives. Thankfully I have not had to do it with family members but I had to with a couple of friends in that past.
 
It I agree can be a tough decision. I know in my situation and choice to cut ties, I then
at times feel guilty about it (did I do the right thing etc.?) BUT, in my heart, I do know it
was the best thing to do. Although I could be wrong...
 
I had to cut off an older sister over her hurtful ways...it was
about 26yrs ago and i do not regret it....she lives about 80 miles
down the road. She has a habit of making up stories about
relatives, and one of her stories about me was just
unacceptable to me....not sorry either.....
 
Luckily I don't know many toxic people. I usually give them the benefit of the doubt and sort of become unavailable if it's necessary. Relatives I'm more patient with, but do the same if I need too. I've never cut someone out of my life at all except one time for a few years and when we made up I was sorry I ever cut her out of my life. It's a drastic step. I prefer not to.
 
When my husband died, I cut all ties with his toxic sister. Throughout our marriage, I tolerated her for my husband's sake and never complained because family was very important to him.

At my husband's wake, she said to me, "If you had taken him to the doctor I told you to, he would probably still be alive." She also told my son that he was "the sorrow of his father's life" because my son is gay. My husband had excellent care at Mass General Hospital, and he was very proud of our son's accomplishments and proud of him as a person.

Enough is enough.
 
I watched my father not cut ties with some family members which he should've done years before he did. I can understand why, your told family comes first, but there is a limit. No one should put up with BS & pot stirring toxic people cause in their own family. Finally, he decided to do it & his health was much better for it.

I've greatly reduced contact with one family member, who I refer to as an Emotional Vampire. It has finally sunk in there is a lot less contact with them & I don't have any plans of reversing it. If anything, it will be a full cut.

Cutting ties with toxic people is the best thing you can do for yourself & the ones you love who truly love you back. You must take care of yourself. If you don't, how can you take care of who & what really matters in your life?

Please don't feel guilty or bad for getting rid of anything that makes your life miserable or is causing you harm. You don't deserve it!

Some people are only happy when they make others miserable. Others come up with non-existent slights/offenses towards them or even allow the green-eyed monster to rule their life.

Cutting ties is the best way to payback those type of people for the hurt they have caused in your life. You have taken their power away to hurt you more. Let Karma do the rest.

P.S. Just because someone is related by blood doesn't make them family to you. I have friends that feel & I consider my family. They have been there when I needed help.
 
I recently cut ties with my nephew, and I'm glad I did.
I cut ties with my brother several years ago.
It's especially necessary with family when they are toxic.
My brother & nephew unfortunately took on toxic characteristics of their parents.
 
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Pepper said:
Maybe it was you guys who were the toxic ones. Ever think of that? Anyone ever abandon you? Because you were so toxic?

BS. So much easier when the shoe's on the other foot. We come up with such crap these days.
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I agree with you.

The relationships I've left behind weren't working for either person, so cutting ties gave more peace to both. When I think about trying to repair the damage my next question to myself is "then what?" In my experience toxic relationships worsen over time, and parties involved tend to feed the fire with equal vigor. Myself included.
 
Shalimar said:
Wow. Such anger. People are sharing painful choices in their lives. Rough to be attacked.
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Here's why. My sister and her family were unbelievably "toxic." Yet year after year after year after year I stuck with them. I loved my nephews, one in particular. After our mother died, and during my first "battle" with cancer they dumped me. I guess (because I'll never know) it was because I was so toxic. There had to be a better way. I am brokenhearted over this and it will never be healed. So, who's the toxic one? Everybody, I guess, depending on who you ask.

Yes, there are clear cut cases. Then again, not always. It's an easy claim to make and it makes a lot of folks feel better when they unceremoniously get rid of someone who may need them.
 
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Never liked my oldest son's father-in-law. He'd treat him like crap in front of me as would some of the brothers-in-law. I know guys do this, but it offended me. Then they make me the one who has a problem. When the old man died daughter-in-law got my condolences because it was her dad, but personally, good riddance you effing jerk.
 
Pepper said:
Here's why. My sister and her family were unbelievably "toxic." Yet year after year after year after year I stuck with them. I loved my nephews, one in particular. After our mother died, and during my first "battle" with cancer they dumped me. I guess (because I'll never know) it was because I was so toxic. There had to be a better way. I am brokenhearted over this and it will never be healed. So, who's the toxic one? Everybody, I guess, depending on who you ask.

Yes, there are clear cut cases. Then again, not always. It's an easy claim to make and it makes a lot of folks feel better when they unceremoniously get rid of someone who may need them.
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I am truly sorry this happened to you. May I respectfully suggest it is likely they dumped you because of their toxicity? You had stuck with them for years even though they were toxic, yet, when you had cancer, they cut you off. Please do not beat yourself up for their behaviour. Sadly, this sort of thing happens all too often. Some people are just plain nasty.
 
Shalimar said:
I am truly sorry this happened to you. May I respectfully suggest it is likely they dumped you because of their toxicity? You had stuck with them for years even though they were toxic, yet, when you had cancer, they cut you off. Please do not beat yourself up for their behaviour. Sadly, this sort of thing happens all too often. Some people are just plain nasty.
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"Some people are just plain nasty." Amen to that.
 
i have a son in law thats highly toxic the only thing is i live with him and my daughter.i was in the hospital for 10 days and he went into my storage building and moved out just about all my things--i guess he thought i was gonna die--when i came in the house i found out he had ripped off my doggie fence--so when rent time comes i will take it out of the rent
 
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