Deep Thoughts on Money and Happiness

[Capt Lightning]

falimy structures and links have changed/disappeared - larger families have disappeared and given way to smaller ones - I remember 10 aunts/uncles within close proximity - many cousins - this gave me strong social structures and security. I bemoan the advent of the nuclear family replacing the extended one - smaller family units disengage from larger families and move away often far distances ??

I don't think this is a bad thing, or anything more than a natural consequence of 'progress'. Go back, maybe not even 100 years, to a time when travel was not so available and towns were much more self-contained. No radio, no TV, no phone, no internet. There was no need, or possibly little advantage in moving away from where you were born. A lack of family planning contributed to larger families, so probably there were close relatives living nearby.

I welcome the advent of the nuclear family. Now, people want their own home. They see opportunities to travel and work elsewhere. They form their own social groups away from the family an quite possibly hold completely different views them. I simply cannot relate to those who want to 'live round the corner' from parents or relatives so they can always 'pop in'.
We are all people in our own right. I have little in common with siblings and relatives, and they, like me, have chosen different paths to walk.

 

[Warrigal]

falimy structures and links have changed/disappeared - larger families have disappeared and given way to smaller ones - I remember 10 aunts/uncles within close proximity - many cousins - this gave me strong social structures and security. I bemoan the advent of the nuclear family replacing the extended one - smaller family units disengage from larger families and move away often far distances ??

You are right about smaller family units moving long distances away. Family history reveals that all of my ancestors arrived in Australia in sailing ships, leaving behind extended family in the "old country". A couple were sent here as prisoners of Mother England; others of their own accord looking for a better life. It is the story of European settlement in foreign lands.

Overtime they produced their own versions of extended family. Our research reveals some very large families, on Hubby's side one immigrant married and had 16 children. He was a dairy farmer in Berri, NSW. Most of the children scattered but still kept in contact through letters.

Do not lament the passing of large families. I am now the matriarch of a family that began when Hubby and I married 60 years ago. We had just one son and one daughter and were supported by our parents, and various aunts and uncles. Today I am supported by our children, our six grandchildren plus their partners and our own surviving brothers and sisters. We recently celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary and it was quite a crowd that joined with us that day.

It takes effort to keep the generations close and that effort often falls to the women. They have always been the letter writers, the ones who remember birthdays and the hosts of family dinners and special events. At least, that is ow it has always been in my now four generation family.

 

[Timewise 60+]

Wow, I fear that the media and our society in general has placed false expectations in us. Being depressed or being happy or just being sad are just part of the human condition. Most all of us experience these ups and downs as we go through life, it is normal. Admittedly, some people get down and cannot seem to get out of it, but I think most of us don't have that problem. The problem is that we have a false expectation that we should be happy and when we are not. We think something is wrong with us, usually it is just part of the human condition. We over think things and do not just give ourselves time to work through the bad times.

Come on folks....move on!

 

[bobcat]

Wow, I fear that the media and our society in general has placed false expectations in us. Being depressed or being happy or just being sad are just part of the human condition. Most all of us experience these ups and downs as we go through life, it is normal. Admittedly, some people get down and cannot seem to get out of it, but I think most of us don't have that problem. The problem is that we have a false expectation that we should be happy and when we are not. We think something is wrong with us, usually it is just part of the human condition. We over think things and do not just give ourselves time to work through the bad times.

Come on folks....move on!

 

[Remy]

Isolation. People can be unkind to one another. I know other areas in the world are very expensive but with all housing going up and nothing being done for affordable housing for people to buy, people are feeling hopeless and stuck. Work for a corporation so they make profit on top of profit.

 

[Teacher Terry]

60% of our happiness is genetic and the other 40% is our outlook on life. People can choose that 40%. Everyone gets depressed but if it’s your normal way of life it’s time to get professional help. No one should just suffer.

Situational depression is a normal response to a bad life experience and it resolves with time. General persistent depression is a medical condition and needs treatment.

 

[bobcat]

Isolation. People can be unkind to one another. I know other areas in the world are very expensive but with all housing going up and nothing being done for affordable housing for people to buy, people are feeling hopeless and stuck. Work for a corporation so they make profit on top of profit.

Very good points. I think it has a lot to do with depression.

60% of our happiness is genetic and the other 40% is our outlook on life. People can choose that 40%. Everyone gets depressed but if it’s your normal way of life it’s time to get professional help. No one should just suffer.

Situational depression is a normal response to a bad life experience and it resolves with time. General persistent depression is a medical condition and needs treatment.

I can understand how genetics plays a part in depression, but it would seem to be more of a constant. The rapid rise in depression must be due to other factors, I would think.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Since we live in a society that doesn't condone violent or brutal behavior, why do you think that so much of our entertainment is infused with it, such as violent movies, war movies, boxing, wrestling, cage matches, video games, etc... Even in the times of the Romans, they watched it play out in the arena with lions killing people and barbarian fights. It was their entertainment. Even when there is a fight at school, why does everyone flock to watch it? Are we now just closet barbarians? How do we reconcile that aspect of human nature with our desire for a civilized society.

Wow! That’s deep. At times I’ve often wondered and worried about the violence we all seem to have accepted as normal and then I think of the medevil times when humans were quartered using horses. This was entertainment while people ate and drank. Humanity IS barbaric. No doubt. Unfortunately I don’t think humanity can back pedal this one.

I guess I’m not helping in the ‘chipper attitude’ department

 

[bobcat]

Wow! That’s deep. At times I’ve often wondered and worried about the violence we all seem to have accepted as normal and then I think of the medevil times when humans were quartered using horses. This was entertainment while people ate and drank. Humanity IS barbaric. No doubt. Unfortunately I don’t think humanity can back pedal this one.

I guess I’m not helping in the ‘chipper attitude’ department

Thanks Patty. Then it's not just me that sees it. I guess it's just the dark side of humanity that is part of the human animal.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

Thanks Patty. Then it's not just me that sees it. I guess it's just the dark side of humanity that is part of the human animal.

It’s the dark side of humanity and unfortunately it’s the side of humanity I’m focussed on lately which is horrible.

 

[bobcat]

S

It’s the dark side of humanity and unfortunately it’s the side of humanity I’m focussed on lately which is horrible.

Sorry if I played a part in that. There is also a lot of good in humanity as well, and worth focussing on. I was merely pondering why we condone such things on the surface, but we tend to gravitate to it in other forms for entertainment. They shouldn't coexist.

 

[PeppermintPatty]

S

Sorry if I played a part in that. There is also a lot of good in humanity as well, and worth focussing on. I was merely pondering why we condone such things on the surface, but we tend to gravitate to it in other forms for entertainment. They shouldn't coexist.

No! You’re ok. You started a topic. That’s all. Maybe it’s due to the fact that no matter how civilized we become we are still pack animals and at the core of us we still have animal instincts. I don’t really know, it’s just a guess.

 

[seadoug]

I'm not ';continuing'' to denigrate the US ..what obesity issue ?

Gun violence is a fact that can't be escaped...there's not one country in the world who isn't aware of the gun violence in the USA... it's terrible, even police shooting children..

errrm.. I'm not scared of my economy... that's a ridiculous thing to say.. ... !..it's not going to kill me.. or kill my children in their classroom>>..

ETA...actually I've found the ''Obese thread'' and it was started by you... .....I get blamed for a lot of things I haven't done, but this takes the biscuit, someone who starts a thread denigrating his own people, then attacks me for it... *jeez*.. unbelievable!!

https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/americas-fattest-cities-houston-tx.72709/#post-2154489

Here is the thread you started, and it is about "fat" people in the US. I'm not blaming you for something you haven't done.

Re: my original response, I think we in the US are just a little worn out and sensitive about gun violence. Sorry if I came off harsh. Again, I like you, so truce on my part.

https://www.seniorforums.com/thread...imination-under-law-passed-in-new-york.82222/

 

[hollydolly]

Here is the thread you started, and it is about "fat" people in the US. I'm not blaming you for something you haven't done.

Re: my original response, I think we in the US are just a little worn out and sensitive about gun violence. Sorry if I came off harsh. Again, I like you, so truce on my part.

https://www.seniorforums.com/thread...imination-under-law-passed-in-new-york.82222/

That was a news Item. At no time did I denigrate people for being fat.. or overweight. Just the opposite. I was asking how this new law in the USA was going to be put into Practice.. nothing more. ..I'm not going to justify posting a news item every time I post it.. you need to read that again..I was not attacking overweight people just the opposite..

 

[bobcat]

I

No! You’re ok. You started a topic. That’s all. Maybe it’s due to the fact that no matter how civilized we become we are still pack animals and at the core of us we still have animal instincts. I don’t really know, it’s just a guess.

I think you are correct in your assessment.

 

[Jamala]

My deep thought for today… negative thinking is the fuel for depression.

Yes, we know lots of awful things happen every day, although it makes sense to be aware…regurgitating bad events over and over serves no purpose. This regurgitation is like tossing a pebble of negative information into reasonably calm waters and watch it quickly develop into a maelstrom sending out waves of bad and sad thoughts to other people.

Those who are already sad for some reason or other, do not need the added burden of others’ negative thoughts.

Personally, I listen to the news once day, … I don’t need echoes reverberating around me…therefore I avoid negative people and those who feed on negativity.

 

[bobcat]

My deep thought for today… negative thinking is the fuel for depression.

Yes, we know lots of awful things happen every day, although it makes sense to be aware…regurgitating bad events over and over serves no purpose. This regurgitation is like tossing a pebble of negative information into reasonably calm waters and watch it quickly develop into a maelstrom sending out waves of bad and sad thoughts to other people.

Those who are already sad for some reason or other, do not need the added burden of others’ negative thoughts.

Personally, I listen to the news once day, … I don’t need echoes reverberating around me…therefore I avoid negative people and those who feed on negativity.

Great insight. "You are what you eat" doesn't just apply to food. I haven't turned on the TV or the news for about a month now, and I think my life is better for it. I am aware that there are many bad things happening throughout the world, but to focus on them day after day gives me a jaded view of humanity, and perhaps that's a contributing factor for the depression we are seeing.

 

[CallMeKate]

Great insight. "You are what you eat" doesn't just apply to food. I haven't turned on the TV or the news for about a month now, and I think my life is better for it. I am aware that there are many bad things happening throughout the world, but to focus on them day after day gives me a jaded view of humanity, and perhaps that's a contributing factor for the depression we are seeing.

That would be situational "depression." It really doesn't apply to the chemical imbalance that is clinical depression. "Don't think about it" or "just calm down" is worthless with clinical depression.

 

[bobcat]

That would be situational "depression." It really doesn't apply to the chemical imbalance that is clinical depression. "Don't think about it" or "just calm down" is worthless with clinical depression.

I am aware of clinical and genetic related depression. I was speaking about the rapid rise in depression rates (Per capita) which seems to point to a more cultural influence. Genetic related depression should stay relatively constant over time (Again per capita). The same holds true with Diabetes or heart disease. A certain percentage of the population will inherently have it, but poor lifestyle can cause those rates to escalate.

 

[Magna-Carta]

Great insight. "You are what you eat" doesn't just apply to food. I haven't turned on the TV or the news for about a month now, and I think my life is better for it. I am aware that there are many bad things happening throughout the world, but to focus on them day after day gives me a jaded view of humanity, and perhaps that's a contributing factor for the depression we are seeing.

I’m similar, but I go beyond that. I haven’t turned a TV on for the past 3 years or so; these days I find much of what is on TV as mind numbing. Prior to those past 3 years I hardly watched TV anyway. At that time I seemed to spend much of that time flicking through channel’s trying to find something interesting to watch, and failing to find anything interesting in the process.

As for TV News, that’s similar. I tend to go on line for the news, and I'm therefore in control of what news I read and don’t read, and in control of how much of a particular news subject I want to read. In a way I’m similar with people, in that where I can, I try to surround myself with positive ‘can do’ people, or at the very least with people who say let’s try.

I do my best not to get involved with hearsay, tittle tattle and so on. Just give me evidence and facts and subjects that interest me, and I’ll be fine.
I try to leave any interest in peoples personal lives out of my own life. Other people's lives don't affect me, therefore I don't need to know too much detail about their life. It doesn’t seem that difficult to do.

 

[Murrmurr]

Since we live in a society that doesn't condone violent or brutal behavior, why do you think that so much of our entertainment is infused with it...

The answer is simple; money. Video games and extreme action movies rake in multi-millions in profits. And there's a seemingly endless number of gore social sites and video platforms that attract young people, with new ones being created all the time. And when I say "gore," I'm understating it.

Trending right now are videos of animal torture and killing. Among the most-viewed is one where a kid tied a kitten to a dartboard and played "Cat-Darts." Another popular theme is abducting or luring a friend to be tortured. Sometimes these are done as a live-stream, and viewers can choose the type of torture. One popular "trash vlogger" who called himself ReeFlay and Stas Reeflay was recently arrested after abusing his girlfriend in front of a live audience for hours, and she died.

Meanwhile, millions of parents are either oblivious to what their kids are following and joining and watching practically 24-7, or they think their kids are going through a weird phase that will fizzle out.

 

[bobcat]

I’m similar, but I go beyond that. I haven’t turned a TV on for the past 3 years or so; these days I find much of what is on TV as mind numbing. Prior to those past 3 years I hardly watched TV anyway. At that time I seemed to spend much of that time flicking through channel’s trying to find something interesting to watch, and failing to find anything interesting in the process.

As for TV News, that’s similar. I tend to go on line for the news, and I'm therefore in control of what news I read and don’t read, and in control of how much of a particular news subject I want to read. In a way I’m similar with people, in that where I can, I try to surround myself with positive ‘can do’ people, or at the very least with people who say let’s try.

I do my best not to get involved with hearsay, tittle tattle and so on. Just give me evidence and facts and things that interest me, and I’ll be fine.
I try to leave any interest in peoples personal lives out of my own. It doesn’t seem that difficult to do.

Well said, and good calls.

 

[bobcat]

I

The answer is simple; money. Video games and extreme action movies rake in multi-millions in profits. And there's a seemingly endless number of gore social sites and video platforms that attract young people, with new ones being created all the time. And when I say "gore," I'm understating it.

Trending right now are videos of animal torture and killing. Among the most-viewed is one where a kid tied a kitten to a dartboard and played "Cat-Darts." Another popular theme is abducting or luring a friend to be tortured. Sometimes these are done as a live-stream, and viewers can choose the type of torture. One popular "trash vlogger" who called himself ReeFlay and Stas Reeflay was recently arrested after abusing his girlfriend in front of a live audience for hours, and she died.

Meanwhile, millions of parents are either oblivious to what their kids are following and joining and watching practically 24-7, or they think their kids are going through a weird phase that will fizzle out.

I get the money aspect, but products only make money when there is a market. If people didn't watch it, then the money would go elsewhere. Obviously there is a huge market, but why do people have a desire to watch something they claim to be against. It seems hypocritical.

 

[Murrmurr]

I

I get the money aspect, but products only make money when there is a market. If people didn't watch it, then the money would go elsewhere. Obviously there is a huge market, but why do people have a desire to watch something they claim to be against. It seems hypocritical.

They're kids. I'm not saying kids aren't people, but they're unfinished and impressionable. They see school shooters immortalized by the media, gang members immortalizing themselves and inter-gang violence with Grammy award-winning songs (so-called), and extremely well dressed, gold and diamond accented gang leaders in Bugattis and Ferraris fill in for the fathers they don't have or get far more admiration than the ones they do have.

Glamor through violence. Fame through violence. Kudos, points, easy money, street cred and otherwise unattainable material possessions through violence. You've got millions and millions of kids doing poorly in school, getting bullied, going hungry, living in a violent home, who have no guidance, think they have no future, suck at socializing, and just can't seem to win...this is why the desire is there.

 

[bobcat]

They're kids. I'm not saying kids aren't people, but they're unfinished and impressionable. They see school shooters immortalized by the media, gang members immortalizing themselves and inter-gang violence with Grammy award-winning songs (so-called), and extremely well dressed, gold and diamond accented gang leaders in Bugattis and Ferraris fill in for the fathers they don't have or get far more admiration than the ones they do have.

Glamor through violence. Fame through violence. Kudos, points, easy money, street cred and otherwise unattainable material possessions through violence. You've got millions and millions of kids doing poorly in school, getting bullied, going hungry, living in a violent home, who have no guidance, think they have no future, suck at socializing, and just can't seem to win...this is why the desire is there.

All good points, and very true, but I wasn't just addressing this as a problem with youth. Adults and parents watch violent movies, play first person shooter games, watch boxing, wrestling, cage matches, and war movies. I think it is something inherent in the human animal that we just choose not to face. Just my opinion.