Anyone joined a dating site what are your experiences?

scsusan said:
Palides2021 - Could you pm me. Just want to ask some general forum questions and perhaps I do need to talk if you have the time about single, loneliness and dating. Sort of rough if you have few family members.
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Thanks for reaching out, @scsusan! For forum questions, your best bet is to contact @Matrix. He knows everything about the forum. I'll contact you soon.
 

Pookie said:
I REALLY like this. Packerjohn, you got this. I'd like to add a bit.

Never, ever, EVER agree to start a relationship unless meeting in person. Those world-famous soccer coaches online are just scammers.

Never, ever, even when you meet a lady or man, never, ever fall for the crap when they need money and ask you. Tell them to go to their bank or whatever, and do NOT fall for excuses, as "I had to pay up my child support," or "I got behind on my mortagage," ... their financial problems are their dang own. Not yours.

Also, never, ever loan money even to the one you met. If he/she asks for a loan, tell them you are not a bank and ask why they need it and ask why they aren't financially responsible. That's a deal-breaker right there.

And also, get their real names and social security number and do a full background check. If they are not willing to do that, there's something to hide and whatever it is, you don't need that.

Then if they're not working, ask why, if they say they're on disability, ask why. If they can drive a car and use a computer, they can do better. I know tons of folks who work from home on a computer who are disabled.

If they say they are retired, fine. But make sure you have proof. Many retirees have their own homes and never ask for money.

Don't fall for anything about mental issues. But with mental issues, stay waaaay from that. Sorry, but too many people have been killed, shot, beaten from boyfriends/girlfriends with mental health issues. You can be a friend, support them from an arm's length and don't involve yourself and your family into that type of mess. Your entire family can be in danger from folks who have mental illnesses. They need to be in a place where they can be treated and helped or therapy, not in your home.

Never, ever give money. And when you do meet someone online, and it goes deeper. do not EVER give them any information of your investments or bank accounts or savings. If you're a retiree with a home paid for, investments and all, never give them anything.

And if you do decide to marry as a retiree, if they have nothing, watch out. Get a pre-nup and protect your assets. If they have stuff, do a pre-nup for both sides.

Sorry to be rude, but I am happily married, but have sooo many friends messing up and making these mistakes. Y'll take care of yourselves.
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What you have written is common sense. unfortunately, I believe common sense has almost disappeared with the advancement of technology. Technology is the new GOD and GOD will protect us and make our lives wonderful! Bah!
 
If you meet someone in our current chaos and you both like each other take the time to find all your birchen points out.
 

PeppermintPatty said:
These people don’t randomly hit on me. They PM me and over time we get to know each other and form what I think is a mutual relationship. Along the way, I realize they want more than just friendship and when I let them know I’m not interested, the friendship ends and it can be somewhat upsetting. I don’t hold any animosity towards them, I just wish I’d known ahead of time of their true intentions.
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I want to reconfirm that I never had any men hitting on me. That’s never happened here.
What happened wasn’t really that unusual.
I don’t usually have personal relationships but I did start talking to a man and we became friends but he wanted more than I was willing to share so we drifted apart . Thinking about my situation , it’s clearly what needed to happen. I had some people ask about this so thought I ‘d clarify again that there was no hitting on anyone. I think that was another’s interpretation of what I said.
 
hollydolly said:
Nope..in a word .... not since I started this thread.! It's kinda put me off tbh... I keep telling myself I'll sign up to one.. but I keep procrastinating
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IMO, you aren’t a sucker so could take those with whom you decided to meet up as exactly what you see them as. It may be a temporary diversion that is or isn’t for you. So many seem to meet their special someone or their new friends. If it’s a jerk, so long to them. You know yourself so aren’t going to be conned by anyone.
 
I did see a point made yesterday which is worth bearing in mind ..actually 2 points...

1...Never park outside the venue where you're meeting, don't mention what make of car you have... and never allow the date to walk you to your car... always leave first...don't let them ride the elevator with you

2... never allow the other person to pay for your coffee, or meal... always go Dutch. That way if you don't want to see them again.. they can't say you owe them. Also never agree to ''let me pay this one and you get the next one''... that will be manipulation to get you to agree to another date, which you may not be comfortable with.. and again.. you won't feel you owe them anything..
 
hollydolly said:
I did see a point made yesterday which is worth bearing in mind ..actually 2 points...

1...Never park outside the venue where you're meeting, don't mention what make of car you have... and never allow the date to walk you to your car... always leave first...don't let them ride the elevator with you

2... never allow the other person to pay for your coffee, or meal... always go Dutch. That way if you don't want to see them again.. they can't say you owe them. Also never agree to ''let me pay this one and you get the next one''... that will be manipulation to get you to agree to another date, which you may not be comfortable with.. and again.. you won't feel you owe them anything..
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#2 is good but for a different reason. A few times when I paid for my coffee and did not offer to pay for the lady’s coffee I got accursed of being cheap and not knowing how to treat a lady. That was good. It kept me from wasting time with them.

OTOH, I have paid for coffee with with many nice ladies and I can say for the most part while I have not regretted it, paying has never bought me anything other than the cup of coffee. No woman worth her salt is going to go out with the wrong guy just because he bought her coffee.
 
Brookswood said:
#2 is good but for a different reason. A few times when I paid for my coffee and did not offer to pay for the lady’s coffee I got accursed of being cheap and not knowing how to treat a lady. That was good. It kept me from wasting time with them.

OTOH, I have paid for coffee with with many nice ladies and I can say for the most part while I have not regretted it, paying has never bought me anything other than the cup of coffee. No woman worth her salt is going to go out with the wrong guy just because he bought her coffee.
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I guess it would depend on the coffee though, if it was truly amazing coffee ... ;) :)
 
hollydolly said:
I did see a point made yesterday which is worth bearing in mind ..actually 2 points...

1...Never park outside the venue where you're meeting, don't mention what make of car you have... and never allow the date to walk you to your car... always leave first...don't let them ride the elevator with you

2... never allow the other person to pay for your coffee, or meal... always go Dutch. That way if you don't want to see them again.. they can't say you owe them. Also never agree to ''let me pay this one and you get the next one''... that will be manipulation to get you to agree to another date, which you may not be comfortable with.. and again.. you won't feel you owe them anything..
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#2..I guess I am old-fashioned but I do expect the man to pay..LOL I guess that is what I always thought and so I still do. If they feel I owe them something that is not my problem. That type of thinking imo may be with younger people but at the over-65 crowd, I would think the old way would be expected. I would think less of a man who let me pay for them on the first date..lol that's just me:)

I completely agree with #1
 
Brookswood said:
#2 is good but for a different reason. A few times when I paid for my coffee and did not offer to pay for the lady’s coffee I got accursed of being cheap and not knowing how to treat a lady. That was good. It kept me from wasting time with them.

OTOH, I have paid for coffee with with many nice ladies and I can say for the most part while I have not regretted it, paying has never bought me anything other than the cup of coffee. No woman worth her salt is going to go out with the wrong guy just because he bought her coffee.
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Brookswood...most men I know would pay for the lady's coffee. Can I ask why you didn't??
 
PeppermintPatty said:
I want to reconfirm that I never had any men hitting on me. That’s never happened here.
What happened wasn’t really that unusual.
I don’t usually have personal relationships but I did start talking to a man and we became friends but he wanted more than I was willing to share so we drifted apart . Thinking about my situation , it’s clearly what needed to happen. I had some people ask about this so thought I ‘d clarify again that there was no hitting on anyone. I think that was another’s interpretation of what I said.
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It is impolite to ask if it was 'physical contact' they wanted or something else?
 
PeppermintPatty said:
No. I ‘think’ this person wanted more than I was willing to offer and I think I’d like to leave it there. It just got uncomfortable …
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Always best to follow your instincts! (y) I only asked because I have heard from several others..that too many of the males on dating sites were only interested in sex...I personally have never been on the sites but always thought it would be fun to just meet some who would be just flirty guy friends..
 
Serenity4321 said:
Always best to follow your instincts! (y) I only asked because I have heard from several others..that too many of the males on dating sites were only interested in sex...I personally have never been on the sites but always thought it would be fun to just meet some who would be just flirty guy friends..
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I wasn’t seeking any type of relationship
He pm’ed me about something and we kept talking. I was just happy to have a male friend who I got along with without the fear of them wanting more.
 
Retired Monica - Interested in what dating apps you have tried in a pm if it is not breaking any rules through the pm section. I am a little shy plus I think I need two more posts to be able to pm anyone.
 
Packerjohn said:
What you have written is common sense. unfortunately, I believe common sense has almost disappeared with the advancement of technology. Technology is the new GOD and GOD will protect us and make our lives wonderful! Bah!
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You have really good replies Packerjohn and thank you. Your wife is very fortunate.
 
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