Update and some hopeful news.

Q

QuickSilver

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Six months ago I posted about having had to have police remove my impaired adult son from my home, due to violence and severe alcoholism. It has been very difficult, and there for a while he used every manipulative trick in the book to get me to let him come home.. However, I refused. It was the hardest thing I have had to do.

He is presently in a rehab program and is residing in a homeless shelter. With intense treatment and constant encouragement, he has remained sober. As with most alcoholics, he is in debt and has had collection agencies hounding him for payment. A few weeks ago, a distant relative passed away, leaving him a small amount of money, which he has used to settle his debt with creditors. He actually took the initiative to call them and negotiate a settlement. So by the end of the month he will officially be debt free, except for a student loan, which he has managed to apply for and get an forbearance due to hardship. The point is HE DID this HIMSELF.. I am so overwhelmed and grateful..

Now he is in the process of completing a Compensated Work Therapy program. He will be assigned a six month paid position while he looks for other permanent employment. He is also eligible for subsidized housing, providing he remains sober and continues having clean drops. (urine tests) I remain cautiously optimistic, but more and more I am seeing a future for him, one that I could not imagine just 6 months ago. He certainly is an entirely different person without alcohol, although we both realize that he is and always will be an alcoholic and relapse is only one drink away. He still has other issues he is working through, but I am hoping the dignity of work and self sufficiency will help with those. There just may be a rainbow at the end of this storm.
 

I certainly hope he stays on the path he is now following and that the worst of this ordeal is over for you. The remarkable change in his attitude is certainly encouraging.
 

This must be a tremendous relief for you, QS. Best wishes for a bright future for you and your son. :)
 
Thanks all... but as much a relief, there is still the lurking fear of a relapse.. So many do.. and after coming this far and making this much progress it would kill me if he relapsed. It's so good to see him as he looks now.. He actually has a Masters Degree... and seeing the waste is too much to take.
 
QuickSilver said:
Thanks all... but as much a relief, there is still the lurking fear of a relapse.. So many do.. and after coming this far and making this much progress it would kill me if he relapsed. It's so good to see him as he looks now.. He actually has a Masters Degree... and seeing the waste is too much to take.
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He should read "If a man be mad" by Harold Maine. It's on Amazon, written about an alcoholics struggle to sobriety.
 
My son just celebrated 8 years clean and sober (drugs,not alcohol). I can`t really remember now at what point I was able to relax a little and think "Maybe this time will be it!" but I know it took time and it wasn`t all of a sudden-it was more of a gradual realization that I hadn`t even thought about it for a while. And for him,it took some time before his struggle to stay clean turned into a feeling of "My life is so great now I would NEVER want to go back to what it was." I pray that your son can continue on this path.
 
Thanks.... I realize it's only been 6 months, but I never even thought he could do it this long. I pray we can get to the place you and your son are.
 
QuickSilver said:
Thanks.... I realize it's only been 6 months, but I never even thought he could do it this long. I pray we can get to the place you and your son are.
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I so know what you`re feeling! For me it was always like waiting for the other shoe to drop. In fact,my stomach aches right now even thinking about it. Have you read/subscribed to Sandra Swenson`s blog?
 
QuickSilver said:
Thanks all... but as much a relief, there is still the lurking fear of a relapse.. So many do.. and after coming this far and making this much progress it would kill me if he relapsed. It's so good to see him as he looks now.. He actually has a Masters Degree... and seeing the waste is too much to take.
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QuickSilver, I had no idea. I feel for you. There is nothing worse than what you are going through.
Our son was the most caring person you would ever want to meet. He lived with us, and was our loving caregiver.
We had no idea he was an alcoholic. I'll keep it short. He lost his job and his drivers license. We had to have him forcibly entered into rehab. He came out, and was wonderful in every way for a year. Job stress and caring for his handicapped parents, sent him into relapse. We had some terrible episodes. Sadly, we found him dead in his room, just about a year ago. We never received the autopsy back. I hope your situation turns out happier. A horrible disease.
 

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