Maybe best to avoid DNA kits

R

Rose65

Well-known Member
Location
United Kingdom
There seems to be a lot of people using DNA kits and inevitably having unwelcome surprises. That's what curiosity gets you.

I listened to a radio 4 account yesterday, a woman talking about buying a kit as a present for her dad. He seemed reluctant, with good readon as it happens. She discovered as her mum admitted she had had a one night stand. So she tracked down her real father's family, who wanted nothing to do with her, especially as he happened to be now dead. So she carried on this saga. Finding out that her real father was Jewish, so she began exploring her Jewish roots. I switched off at this point. Shaking my head!

I felt throughout that she was so utterly selfish and self-centred. Quite fine about trampling her way through many people's lives.

In my view, it's best to leave such things alone unless it is vital in some medical or other way. Our parents were once young, may have made mistakes, taken decisions they regret. What use is it to rake up the past? Curiosity can be a bad idea sometimes.
 

Rose65 said:
There seems to be a lot of people using DNA kits and inevitably having unwelcome surprises. That's what curiosity gets you.

I listened to a radio 4 account yesterday, a woman talking about buying a kit as a present for her dad. He seemed reluctant, with good readon as it happens. She discovered as her mum admitted she had had a one night stand. So she tracked down her real father's family, who wanted nothing to do with her, especially as he happened to be now dead. So she carried on this saga. Finding out that her real father was Jewish, so she began exploring her Jewish roots. I switched off at this point. Shaking my head!

I felt throughout that she was so utterly selfish and self-centred. Quite fine about trampling her way through many people's lives.

In my view, it's best to leave such things alone unless it is vital in some medical or other way. Our parents were once young, may have made mistakes, taken decisions they regret. What use is it to rake up the past? Curiosity can be a bad idea sometimes.
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I think there are many elements and perspectives at work here in the situation you cite. From the perspective of the others in the situation I would agree that it is unwelcomed interference in their lives, and their lives should be respected for that.

However, from the standpoint of the woman I understand her feelings as well. We all, or most of us, long for an understanding of our past so we can understand who we are, where we fit into the tapestry of history, and by that where we came from. So, I think in this situation there are many valid issues. Not just theirs and not just hers. And, both can coexist if both respect the other.

Unfortunately, to learn to respect one another we have to first bump into one another to learn how the other reacts. Have you ever watch the program on public tv named Finding Your Roots. It is a great program that often brings both tears and delights to people. Opposite reactions always happen simultaneous when people deal with people. They are both the danger and reward of social interaction. That's just the nature of relationships.
 
I could ask BING CHAT but, I would like to know what the test reveals. Does the info vary with different tests? I was talking to my younger brother yesterday. He still lives in California. That is where we grew up. My mother died from a rare blood disease when she was 39. So we discussed some of our medical issues and wondered if her DNA has effected her three male children. Anyone know if you can buy a sophisticated test?

That OP story happens to many folks, and there other reasons for searching your "real" parent/s. I guess I would want to know who they were also.
 

I'd be worried about who might be behind collecting DNA data, who they might sell it to, etc. Imagine insurance companies getting info about disease predilection and raising health insurance rates accordingly. Or some wacky religious organization seeking out "candidates" for something and pestering you to contribute more substantial amounts of DNA to some "ark to the stars" or cryo-bunker or something.
 
dilettante said:
I'd be worried about who might be behind collecting DNA data, who they might sell it to, etc. Imagine insurance companies getting info about disease predilection and raising health insurance rates accordingly. Or some wacky religious organization seeking out "candidates" for something and pestering you to contribute more substantial amounts of DNA to some "ark to the stars" or cryo-bunker or something.
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:) Right! Also, it's been shown that the information has been made available to government. Also, I understand that the quality of the results depends largely on correct analysis.
 
I remember the movie "Soldier" (1998), set in the "Blade Runner" universe, but earlier. The military had selected some children using DNA then raised them as fighting machines.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I got my DNA test. Looking at all the different DNAs from all over the globe in me, I think my family motto should be, "Wham Bam, thank you, Ma'am". The point is I'm here, because of a long line of life givers. And if it weren't for all of them, I wouldn't be here.
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Yeah, now is probably not the time to hold your parents and ancestors accountable for the shit they did.
 
Ok I warned u. :)

DNA test kits are a type of genetic testing that can tell you various information about your ancestry, health, traits, and relatives. Depending on the specific kit you use, you may get different types of results. Here are some examples of what DNA test kits can tell you:

 
Rose65 said:
So she tracked down her real father's family, who wanted nothing to do with her, especially as he happened to be now dead.
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It's possible that would change over time, tho perhaps not with all the family members. When I was adopting and reading a lot of adoption books, one said that we kind of consolidate our view of ourselves and our family when we go through puberty, and that when we get different information after puberty, the new info can be uncomfortable and it takes a while for us to incorporate it.
 
Many years ago, before DNA tests and the internet, I read an article that stated, in Merry Old England, roughly 10% of the population had a father that was not their dad, so to speak. I forget the source of the data that supported their claim.

And why does mom always claim it was just a "one night stand"?
 
A dear neighbor who is a identical twin ... both sisters received kits as a b-day gift ....... both sent them in ......... results totally different.....
the genetic makeup was wrong / the where is family from etc ..... maybe a mistake by lab but when called on it they claimed it was impossible there was a n error.

i think it was genius move the government has used data from these ... creating a huge database with the willing participants paying for it themselves
 
Hm.

I've not been interested in this type of thing myself. In the original story the lady got unwelcome news, but I think it depends what you're hoping to get from it. I mean, after all those years, her parents might well have not known for sure she was fathered by someone else. If they did know, they had ample time to tell her.

In the future, I can see DNA being recorded for everyone, likely at birth. We can come up with all kinds of conspiratorial frameworks for this, but imagine what it could do for the investigation of crime? Imagine if someone is trying to immigrate into the country claiming they're from family X, when they DNA says family Y? Imagine your universal identifier being your DNA (used as a driving license, a bank card, a medical record, security to open doors at work, and so on). Imagine being able to identify whether you and a prospective partner is likely to have children born with medical problems?

I don't know, it has an up side.

On the case in OP, the issue there is that she cast a stone into a lake that she hadn't even known existed. That caused ripples that spread into her own family (she'd exposed a secret), but also - unknowingly - the ripples went across the family of her real father. Depending on how things are, this discovery could destroy (or enrich) two families, and to what end? Which is where I think the comment about selfishness comes. She can't know, and a yearning to know would have ramifications she couldn't possibly appreciate.

Of course, Hollywood teaches us that you get united with a new family, and everyone loves you, and there are parties, you find new brothers and sisters, and joy to the world! But what if the father is a sexual predator spending time in jail? What if he's a con man? You just can't know until you know. I don't know what I'd advise someone in that situation unless I'm asked.

On the other hand, we live in conspiratorial times. Even with countless benefits, I think a lot of people would point to negatives: The control, nefarious companies using data to prevent you from getting bank accounts, insurance, and so on. The ability to track someone wherever they go. Criminals figuring out how each and every one of us is related, and so on. Anonymity would be virtually impossible, and sometimes anonymity is what we want. So, we'd need lots of regulation around that.

Personally, I wouldn't mind having my DNA added to a national database. I'm far more likely to be the body they're trying to identify than the person who committed a crime. :D
 
Nephew had a 23&me done. Interesting info. Nothing for this Earth monkey genetically to hide and apparently have pretty good genes by some measures. In a few years given advances in DNA science and an accumulating database, ought be even more interesting.
 
Mine was done through 23 and Me. Nothing exciting showed up. But then, again, what
would there be in the lineage for an Asian :unsure:
 
Had I not already known about the "irregularities" in my family, I would have been very very surprised after I did the DNA test.
I would have wondered who all those second and third cousins were that they were telling me I was related to.

I tell people "be prepared for surprises before you start opening all those doors to the past...." And if those "surprises" are going to bother you, you'd best not proceed.
 
I already told the story here of a woman claiming my husband fathered her son before he met me. He didn't feel he necessarily did. She raised her son showing him a picture of my husband, displaying it to him as it was in her LR, telling him that was his 'daddy.'

Before my son got married almost 10 years ago, this other man wanted to meet his 'brother,' my son. They took a DNA together. They are not related. His mother is a bitch, setting him up like that. If I cared, I'd feel badly for him. Not that I do, as his mother was a thorn in our sides for years.

Imagine all the guys suckered in to pay child support for a child not their own. Imagine the strain, economic and emotional, on the families.

That woman wanted my husband to be her son's father. That didn't make him her son's father. Without DNA, if it had gone to court we would have been stuck. What she did to her son was child abuse.
 
Rose65 said:
So she tracked down her real father's family, who wanted nothing to do with her, especially as he happened to be now dead. So she carried on this saga. Finding out that her real father was Jewish, so she began exploring her Jewish roots. I switched off at this point. Shaking my head!

I felt throughout that she was so utterly selfish and self-centred. Quite fine about trampling her way through many people's lives.
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Disagreeing with you here, Rose. I don't think it's selfish at all to want to know your real heritage and your blood family. It's sad that they wanted nothing to do with her, but she doesn't really need them or their approval to trace her roots further back. I'd seriously not want to be oblivious thinking I'm someone I'm not! That would also mean my daughter would never know who *she* really is. Nope, deceit and lies and cover-ups are not good.
 
Since you can't verify what you're told, I would tend be skeptical. They could make things up. And if I had some genetic info indicating a potential health problem, I would not want to know.
 
Pinky said:
Mine was done through 23 and Me. Nothing exciting showed up. But then, again, what
would there be in the lineage for an Asian :unsure:
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actually that's really interesting to ponder, Pinky... what is the most likely find from an ancestor DNA for someone from Japan or China ?
 

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