Online forums and individual perception

Gardenlover

Gardenlover

The world needs more love
Online forms are a great platform for communication and interaction, however our individual perception plays a significant role in shaping our understanding of what is being discussed. It's a bit like reading an interactive novel, all the conversation takes place in our mind's eye. The lens in which we view ourselves seasons the way in which we engage with others. A bit like Snow White's seven little friends, you get to choose (or do you?), if your more often than not Happy, Grumpy, Doc, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful or Sneezy.

Lately, here and in real life, people seem to have much shorter fuses and in my opinion lash out at each other much too quickly. Is it pride, fear, the pandemic, or something much more complex driving this change in temperaments?
 

Gardenlover said:
Online forms are a great platform for communication and interaction, however our individual perception plays a significant role in shaping our understanding of what is being discussed. It's a bit like reading an interactive novel, all the conversation takes place in our mind's eye. The lens in which we view ourselves seasons the way in which we engage with others. A bit like Snow White's seven little friends, you get to choose (or do you?), if your more often than not Happy, Grumpy, Doc, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful or Sneezy.
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Gardenlover said:
Lately, here and in real life, people seem to have much shorter fuses and in my opinion lash out at each other much too quickly. Is it pride, fear, the pandemic, or something much more complex driving this change in temperaments?
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You said it. People are having a discussion inside their own minds. Their arguments only exist in their own imaginations.

That's why I don't comment on anything. I'm not here to argue. I'm here to be entertained. So all joke threads and music threads are what I check out on a regular basis.

I will read a topic if I'm curious what opinions are offered about that topic. But rarely reply to contradict what people are saying.

Arguing takes so much typing. I don't have the energy.
 

Gardenlover said:
Lately, here and in real life, people seem to have much shorter fuses and in my opinion lash out at each other much too quickly. Is it pride, fear, the pandemic, or something much more complex driving this change in temperaments?
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I wonder. I'm still not out and about post-pandemic like I once was, so maybe I'm not seeing it IRL.

But just lately there does seem to be a bit more confrontation or taking offense than when I joined here just a few months ago.

I thought part of that might be me. I know that since I got past things I was struggling with when I joined I've been... well, tried to be... a bit playful. So I've been wondering whether I'm rubbing too many rhubarbs and need to check in with my Doc about my medication.

That's at least half serious, BTW.
 
Some are great, some are so-so. I read what I want, I reply occasionally and I'm glad when I get a good quote and/or helped someone.

Not having received the best feelings on some social platforms (which I've left behind), I'm currently looking for one where I can freely talk about my Indie's Author work. Found a promising one. Fingers-crossed!

As well as a chatting one for one-on-one conversations online. I need interactions, feedback and opinion, questions and answers. Simply the feeling of actually speaking with someone.
 
Yes , I think navigating our world these days is very challenging. I like to discuss different important subjects to get input from other people and try to understand their perspective. It feels like there is more pressure to understand our complex world and how we fit in.
 
Gardenlover said:
Lately, here and in real life, people seem to have much shorter fuses and in my opinion lash out at each other much too quickly. Is it pride, fear, the pandemic, or something much more complex driving this change in temperaments?
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I have not noticed the 'shorter fuse' either here or in RL, lately. That said, my doctor made a comment several years ago that there's been a large uptick in anxiety levels, not just in this country but worldwide. We both agreed that it was a consequence of having the internet available, where truth and lies can be quickly shared...creating anxious uncertainty amongst the masses.
 
Wayne said:
My life is very different here than others so most of the time I either delete my postings before posting or just loose interest in typing it I am just a product of my upbringing here and have interests most do not have, with no plans to ever change that.
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Well you never know what interests people have. I like to go fishing but no one would ever guess that.
 
i have noticed that anxiety and people's tempers have been very thin lately. it's getting more and more difficult to have a discussion with people without people getting mad. it's just not worth it anymore.
 
I look at confrontation, opposing opinions, hostility, or bobbing ones head up & down in agreement as normal. It's not easy to convey thoughts only in written word. So without vocal tone, facial expression or body language IMO it's all good. What would a forum be without the variety of input & trying to determine for ourselves what others are thinking?
 
MarciKS said:
i have noticed that anxiety and people's tempers have been very thin lately. it's getting more and more difficult to have a discussion with people without people getting mad. it's just not worth it anymore.
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Perhaps it's just the holidays. Even for those that enjoy the hoilday season it can nevertheless be stressful, with all the hubbub and such.

Life seems to be calmer after New Years.
 
Nathan said:
Perhaps it's just the holidays. Even for those that enjoy the hoilday season it can nevertheless be stressful, with all the hubbub and such.

Life seems to be calmer after New Years.
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could be but where i live the hostility has grown ever since 2020. along with psyche issues. i see it every day at work. it's definitely concerning.

also adding places like facebook are now just nothing but hotbeds for arguments. it makes it miserable to enjoy as much anymore.
 
Our DNA isn't that much different from when we were running around naked in the forest. We react to people. Being online just puts us into contact with way more people than we meet in our real lives. And it's easy to go off the deep end by typing your fingers to the bone. You're not in front of a live person, but a screen with lots of wiggles on it. Wiggles don't have feelings.
 
I don't notice much hostility IRL but online hostility is another matter. I don't have a solid answer for this except maybe many want to blow off steam at someone or something and the distance provided by online forums is the perfect platform for them. :unsure:
 
There are disgruntled past members coming back to seek revenge. They definitely have a chip on there shoulder and their ultimate goal IS to upset members. They will leave but never for good. Iā€™m not claiming all animosity is caused by this but a lot is
 
fuzzybuddy said:
Our DNA isn't that much different from when we were running around naked in the forest. We react to people. Being online just puts us into contact with way more people than we meet in our real lives. And it's easy to go off the deep end by typing your fingers to the bone. You're not in front of a live person, but a screen with lots of wiggles on it. Wiggles don't have feelings.
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But, people have feelings for the wiggles. One has to learn how to react to organized wiggles.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
There are disgruntled past members coming back to seek revenge. They definitely have a chip on there shoulder and their ultimate goal IS to upset members. They will leave but never for good. Iā€™m not claiming all animosity is caused by this but a lot is
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Is this the "Butt-hurt-itis" thread then?
 
You have to remember, that there are a few people on this board dealing w/physical pain. And, in my world, people dealing w/pain have a tendency to lash out. I don't see it as anything personal.

Being a person that does deal w/pain on occasion, I pick up on that.
If, I'm having a really bad day, I'll usually just hide out till I'm feeling better.
 
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Gardenlover said:
Online forms are a great platform for communication and interaction, however our individual perception plays a significant role in shaping our understanding of what is being discussed. It's a bit like reading an interactive novel, all the conversation takes place in our mind's eye. The lens in which we view ourselves seasons the way in which we engage with others. A bit like Snow White's seven little friends, you get to choose (or do you?), if your more often than not Happy, Grumpy, Doc, Sleepy, Dopey, Bashful or Sneezy.

Lately, here and in real life, people seem to have much shorter fuses and in my opinion lash out at each other much too quickly. Is it pride, fear, the pandemic, or something much more complex driving this change in temperaments?
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You can learn about a persons beliefs from an internet forum, but in terms of a real-world experience (meeting someone in the real world) it can be a long way from the reality. We get to know peoples online persona, but we're not really getting to know the heart of the person. In other words, it's not about knowing various opinions and thoughts, it's how it all hangs together.

Of course, you'll learn more from a forum than you would meeting a person one time. Just the scope of subjects is more than you'd have in a normal conversation. You may also learn some things that are a complete no-no for you, and you could learn that from a forum.

There is a disease in Social Media, and it seems inherent in the technology. People get polarized into one stance or another. Then they right-fight to the death. Whereas if you were at a dinner party, you'd change the subject or agree to disagree. Is it the anonymity? Is it a direct feed to our emotions, where social norms of behavior simply don't apply?

The bottom line for me is that real-world and online are two totally different arenas. Where you might not invite that guy with opposite opinions to your dinner party, you can't shut them out of posting in a thread. Too few people are willing to give consideration to their own stance, of whether it's fair or appropriate.

I'm new to the forum, and I've read some folk on here that I largely enjoy and agree with. I've read some that are..... well, not for me. I'm okay with it though, as long as we're exchanging in a fair and reasonable way. For example, I just had a back and forth with @Rose65 regarding belief in a God. We're at polar opposites, but we managed to respectfully walk the middle ground, accepting each others belief without it falling into a war zone. That's how it should be.

But nothing, just nothing, can replace a hug, a hand-shake, a kiss on the cheek, a smile. That's real. We mustn't lose sight of the fact that online is a netherworld. Virtually nothing you do or say here will have any impact on your real world life. If you really want to know the person - arrange to meet them in person.
 

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