Just senior humor

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1978 v 2023


1978: Long Hair. 2023: Longing for Hair.

1978: 8 Tracks. 2023: Cataracts.

1978: Kegs. 2023: EKGs.

1978: Streaking. 2023: Leaking.

1978: Acid Rock. 2023: Acid Reflux.

1978: Seeds and Stems. 2023: Fibre.

1978: Staying Alive (The song) 2023: Staying Alive the goal.

1978: Hoping for a BMW. 2023. Hoping for a BM.

1978: Going to a new hip, joint. 2023: Getting a new hip joint.

1978: Rolling Stones. 2023: Kidney Stones.

1978: Bell Bottoms. 2023: Big Bottoms.

1978: Disco. 2023: Costco.

1978: Whatever. 2023: Depends.

1978: Rock and roll all night. 2023: Sleep through the night.

1978: Think you know everything. 2023: Think you know your name.
 
The Elderly couple are contemplating retirement after some procrastination.
The Old guy is concerned and Says, I just can't see us affording a great retirement."
We simply cannot financially afford a good lifestyle for an extended time."
She says, don't worry, every time we had Sex, I put $50 in my own Investment Roth account."
Guy says If you had told me that 35 Years ago, I would have given you all my business!"
Guess who has 3 days to live during the Holiday season?
 
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Old age sets in when you are trying to decide if you have stayed in the work force too long or haven't saved enough to retire.

You realize you are an old fart when yo walk into a Fast Mart and the guy holding 2 - 30 packs of beer says go ahead and you want to buy 6 Power ball tickets, 10 megga ball tickets and play the other 5 independently chosen tickets. Say 15 minutes total to get it all done. You know the Power ball is at $500,000,000 & how can you loose? Your not old, your cunning! Ya Think ?
 
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I start to do the laundry, then I realize I'm out of Detergent
so, I get my scratch pad & want to write a shopping list, realize
how unorganized the junk drawer is and start checking pens for ink. ...
So, I then scrawl out my new year's needs to do list.

1. "Remember, as the clock is striking Midnight 12/31/2023 make sure
to lift left leg so as to start 2024 off on the "right" foot."

2. "Call my best friend while I have my left foot in the air with my Cell phone to remind him."

3. "Purchase 1'st aid kit for new year."

4. "Leave front door unlocked so guests can find me if on floor."

HOLIDAYS CAN BE A MOST STRESSFUL TIME: HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL & good night.
 
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Being an Elder means Your Ai gets blamed for screwups instead of yourself.
You get cited at your Birthday Party for Air Pollution with your Birthday Cakes candles lit.
You are forced to celebrate with one candle in a cupcake.
Your Grandson ask you if you met Jason with the Argonauts.
"Were there Dinosaurs when you were born grampa?"
 
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We are the First Nation in History to go to Space Via the Poor House.

So, I walk into the records office and asks to change my name.
The clerk is not keen on helping but asks my name. "My name is Adolf Stimple."

The clerk is sympathetic and decides to allow me to change my Name.
"What do you want to change it to?" asks the clerk. "Maurice Stimple."

Did you hear that the Senate Investigation has decided to release the names
of the Russians that interfered with the 2008 / 2012 / 2016 / 2020 / 2024 Elections.
Using ultra top secrete mobile thumbs apps.

The Senate somehow got its hands on the Moscow Telephone Book. .....:ROFLMAO: .....
 
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There are three ways to prove to yourself you're over the hill.
1. Your friends all start looking older than you.
2. You're convinced you got a snooze button somewhere.
3. Where you used to have urges you now got symptoms.

THEN;

4. You bend to tie your shoes and wonder what else you need to do.
5. You order stewed prunes and the waitress says, "great choice"
6. After while you say there are three thing that prove your old;
........( you can't remember them.) .....:ROFLMAO:
 

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