Just senior humor

A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 75th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.  She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"  The clerk told her that $250 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. 

She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." 

"But I didn't use them."  she said.

'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here." 

"But I didn't go to any of those shows." 

"Well, we have them, and you could have." 

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.  After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  "But Madam, this check is for only $50" 

"That's correct I charged you $200 for sleeping with me." 

"But I didn't!"  he said.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
 
debodun said:
A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 75th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.  She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"  The clerk told her that $250 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it. 

She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use." 

"But I didn't use them."  she said.

'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here." 

"But I didn't go to any of those shows." 

"Well, we have them, and you could have." 

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.  After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.  "But Madam, this check is for only $50" 

"That's correct I charged you $200 for sleeping with me." 

"But I didn't!"  he said.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Click to expand...
hearty-laugh.gifThat's hilarious. A little "blue" but funny!
 
Seniors%2B00051.jpg
 
Have you noticed while shopping that the employees seem a lil creepy?
Since the install of self-checkout do they appear to look like they live there?
Is it everywhere? Am I the only one noticing or imagination? Spooky?
Did I meet the rudest shopper at the Self-Checkout! Me.
 
Last edited:
It's been a couple of years since I actually worked in an office, so I thought I should do something to prepare to get back into the typing, filing and phone answering, and what not.

So, what I did was I had a friend of mine go with me down to the local swimming pool and I had him tie me up in a burlap sack and sink me to the bottom of the pool. And then just as I was about to suffocate, he yanked me up and gave me a lunch break.
 
A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak....
He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun.
Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged...
shooting him in the *******s.
Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed,
he was approached by his doctor.
"Well sir, I have some good news and some bad news.
The good news is that you are going to be OK.
The damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage,
and we were able to remove all of the buckshot."
"What's the bad news?" asked the hunter.
"The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your *****.
I'm going to have to refer you to my sister."
"Oh, well I guess that isn't too bad," the hunter replied.
"Is your sister a plastic Surgeon ?
Not exactly," answered the doctor.
"She's a flute player in the local symphony and
she's going to teach you where to put your fingers, so you don't go & Leak in your face!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top