Just senior humor

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Little Johnny who is a new student to the school says
“I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs,
take the best bitch with me,
give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks,
an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris,
a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and
to make love to her three times a day”.
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child,
decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson.
“And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks.
Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s bitch.”
 
WINTER IS COMING
It's late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation in South Dakota asked their new chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.
Since he was a chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared.
But, being a practical leader, after several days, he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?'
'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,' the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared.
A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?'
'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'it's going to be a very cold winter.'
The chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find.
Two weeks later, the chief called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?'
'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters we've ever seen.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'The Indians are collecting up a crap load of firewood'
 
So, I file a missing report. He's my best friend, wears a golden chain,
healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left nail is slightly broken,
he's very quiet, wears a studded belt, he likes non veg food, we eat together,
we jog together..."
What's his name? "Romeo"
"Nationality?" "Labrador"
 
So, I'm a 16 year old and asked, "Why you plowed the soil up against the Wire Field Fence." I had to think about it for a while.

Meanwhile he was getting fumed, madder and madder!
Well, so I let him fume a bit longer and after a good spit says,

"In a few years you can gain another 2 acres of ground over the posts."
Well; U know he gave me a raise!

I let him cool off for a bit and said, I quit."

I was onto something! Ripping out all the field fences was great fun!
 
- Hello! Gordon's pizza (Pizza Hut)?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.

- So it's a wrong number? Sorry
- No sir, Google bought it (Google bought Pizza Hut).

- OK. Take my order please
- Well sir, you want the usual?

- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID data sheet, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizzawith cheeses, sausage, thick crust.

- OK! This is it ...
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato.?

- What? I hate vegetables.
- Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

- How do you know?
- We crossed the number of your fixed line with your name, through the subscribers guide.
We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.

- Okay, but I do not want this pizza!,I already take medicine ...
-Excuse me, but you have not taken the medicine regularly, from our commercial database, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 cholesterol tablets at Drugsale Network.

- I bought more from another drugstore.
- It's not showing on your credit card statement

- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement

- I have have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you bought them from undeclared income source.

-WHAT THE HELL?
- I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the intention of helping you.

- Enough! I'm sick of google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone line and no one to watch me or spy on me.

- I understand sir but you need to renew your passport first as it has expired 5 weeks ago

I talked with a couple of Elders at the Family get together yesterday and they spoke about Ai with a veiled mysterious chuck.e
 
Huck and Finn grew up as best friends. They played together, went to school together, joined

the army together, and were even the "best man" at each other's wedding. One day they were

discussing getting older and decided that when one of them died, they could make things

easier on their wives by the surviving friend handling all of the funeral details.

So if Huck passes first there will be a cremation and his ashes scattered on the shore of a

nearby lake. Finn, it turns out, is more traditional and if Finn passes first then Huck'll bury Finn.
 
Guy goes to his Dr. "Doc In so much lower back pain, shoots down both legs. It's all I can do to get up most mornings." Doc does his usual inspections, X-rays, C-scans and all & meets with the Guy.
Dr says, "I got Good news for you." "Great Doc what is it!." "Get up in the Afternoon."


How does an Ai get assassinated. Un-plug em... .....:ROFLMAO:
 
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Our Lady calls her Servant to her Bedroom.
"James" "Yes Madam"
"Take off my Dress" "Yes Madam"
"James take off my Bra" "Yes Madam"
"James take off my shoes and stockings" "Yes Madam"
"James take off my Panties" "Yes Madam"
"I'm warning you James, If I catch you wearing
my stuff again you will lose your Job!"
 

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