Fed up? Feel free to vent here, and get it off your chest!

I 100% don't care about a persons sexual preferences, but I refuse to use 'they' and 'them' pronouns for one human! If 'he' or 'she' (based on the biological or surgical state of crotch parts) doesn't fit the persons mental state, I'm willing to use the term 'it'.
 

I 100% don't care about a persons sexual preferences, but I refuse to use 'they' and 'them' pronouns for one human! If 'he' or 'she' (based on the biological or surgical state of crotch parts) doesn't fit the persons mental state, I'm willing to use the term 'it'.
Just out of curiosity, how many "its" do you know? Does it really help saving you a lot of time?
 

If I am conversing - in any way - with a person whose male/female/other orientation is questionable, I just don't use any pronoun. You can easily say "please or thank you" without adding a "miss, mr, girl, guy, whatever" to the sentence.

Yes, I have been in that situation a few times (all wait staff) and I realize it ain't easy to refrain from using a pronoun.
 
I 100% don't care about a persons sexual preferences, but I refuse to use 'they' and 'them' pronouns for one human! If 'he' or 'she' (based on the biological or surgical state of crotch parts) doesn't fit the persons mental state, I'm willing to use the term 'it'.
Absolutely agree. Could have written this myself.
 
May I open up about something that I (and more so my wife) often deal with.

In chatting with friends and relatives (esp), usually via email or phone, we almost always end up being "ears" and dumped on. By this I mean that IF they ask "how are you", and you tell them "whatever", they immediately bring the conversation to them. It's gotten so bad with some relatives that we have given up, resigning ourselves to just listening until its time to go. Interesting, it's with 4 of our 5 kids, and both my sisters especially.

In example, I heard from my younger sister yesterday (email), whom has not returned my email for almost a month. The email went, "Hi, hope you all are well, I............." and it went on for one long paragraph about all her and her daughter's ailments. Heck, I didn't even get a "thank you" for the gift I recently sent her.

Know that I fully realize nothing I can do will make a pleasant positive change. I just wanted to write this down before I reply to my sister's self-centered note.

Gotta add.... my wife says "some of us are ears, and some of us are mouths". "We are obviously both ears".
 
These people don’t have any real life problems. It should not matter what they are called if they are comfortable with themselves. I know gay men who are men. They want to be called men. They are comfortable with their sexuality. I will never say them to one person. It’s too confusing and goes against all my English language education
 
My newspaper's advice column uses "they" and "them" almost all the time. I suspect it's the decision of the editor, or maybe higher than that in the newspaper management. To me, it often results in utter confusion. Example: "My trans daughter, who lives in California with their partner, says that they are coming here soon for a visit."

Huh? How many people should I expect to show up?
 
I 100% don't care about a persons sexual preferences, but I refuse to use 'they' and 'them' pronouns for one human! If 'he' or 'she' (based on the biological or surgical state of crotch parts) doesn't fit the persons mental state, I'm willing to use the term 'it'.
I can’t imagine calling anyone an it.
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Cousin "it"
 
Friends bought a house in an HOA neighborhood about six months before DH & I started looking for a home. When heard some of their horror stories - couldn't park a car in the driveway or on the street overnight, needed permission to paint your house any color but the original, only certain basketball hoops were acceptable in the driveway, couldn't put a pergola or other structure in the backyard without written permission, etc., we knew this wouldn't fly for us. Told our realtor to not bother to show us anything in HOA NEIGHBORHOODS. Period.

When my family moved to Los Angeles their new neighborhood had an association, but it was strictly voluntary - nothing in the deed so not compulsory to join, pay dues or follow their guidelines.

Soon after we moved in, Mom got a letter from complaining about cars parked on the street. (At the time our household included three 17 year olds, an 18 year old and two adults.) She wrote back, saying she appreciated their concern, but the teenagers would soon enough grow up and move on, as children do. In the meantime, the cars were all running and presentable. What did this homeowner's group suggest the family do - park the cars on the roof?

End of discussion.

Not too many years later, most of the neighborhood children reached driving age (including the signees of that complaint), so there were oodles of cars parked on the street. I often laughed up my sleeve when visiting Mom and seeing all those teenagers' cars.

As you said, HOA's can be weird. Not to mention short-sighted.

I hear you. Some things I think they help with. I don't mind some community standards for the betterment of all.

On the other hand, I get penalized. What was truly nasty was attending their meetings. Essentially you had five or so people sitting at the front, and neighbors and others sitting in front of them. We were called up one by one - and then judged by...... well our neighbors. It felt really strange to me, since I'll be honest, as an immigrant, I'd never heard of a HOA before.

One person I recall had put a mailbox up outside his house, and apparently they were banned so he had to take it down.

And let's not forget - you have to pay HOA money for this "service". Oh boy.
 
My newspaper's advice column uses "they" and "them" almost all the time. I suspect it's the decision of the editor, or maybe higher than that in the newspaper management. To me, it often results in utter confusion. Example: "My trans daughter, who lives in California with their partner, says that they are coming here soon for a visit."

Huh? How many people should I expect to show up?
This is now the rule in academic publishing. Starting a little over a year ago, we (editors) were told that, for simplicity's sake, just to use the plural every time.
 
I'm so irritated with Bank of America. I recently disputed two financial transactions made on the same day and to the same company. The customer service rep was kind and helpful, but only one of the charges ended up being dismissed. There's no way to contact them by email, or even through the website, so now I have to call back, probably wait on hold again, and ask them why the second (and, of course, larger) transaction was not dismissed. Ugh.

To clarify, one of the charges was for an initial app membership, and the second was for a one-year extension. So if one was dismissed, then the other one should have been as well.

It just seems like companies never get things right the first time.

Rant over. :)
 
Rant...

An investment business I use has changed their security protocols, using the app can only be done using a secured device. What that means is your phone/tablet/computer has to have initiated security features before you can login into your accounts.

I use to password protect my phone but haven't since I quit working six years ago, my phone isn't out in the public enough now that I worry about it, plus I never leave apps open. The investment business is forcing me to passcode protect my phone, so to check my accounts now takes a pass code to open my phone, a login in signature, and then another password. I simply do not want to unlock my phone everytime I look at it.

I called and complained but they say the double security measures are important and they're sticking to it. I may start having them mail me paper statements every month, that'll teach em!
 
I could write a chapter in a book about the dysfunctional trashy rats over there. Child family services would likely be interested in the living arrangements over there. Those two boys and their "parents" actually LIVE in a garden storage shed on the back of the property. The boy's "mother" is the daughter of the woman that lives in the house. The woman WILL NOT allow the boys, her daughter and her daughter's husband to live in the house. The daughter's husband is not to be trusted and has been abusive to the older woman who lives in the house. I guess the woman doesn't want the boys and daughter to live homeless on the street but also doesn't want them living in the house.

The storage shed does not have water or sanitation and I think power is supplied by an extension cord running from the house to the shed. They've lived there so long and used the door so often, it has fallen off the shed and they placed a blanket, curtains or something up as a "door". They live in those conditions summer and winter, year round, and have for 3-4 years.

Additionally, the daughter had a child while she was in high school and couldn't take care of the child, so the older woman adopted the child. That child, a female now a teenager, lives in the house with the older woman.

If you think those boys are overweight, you wouldn't be shocked with the appearance of the very robust, well beyond obese, older woman or their "mother". And the mother usually wears shorts so tiny they don't even cover her bum crack completely, while her belly almost covers the front of the short shorts. Shorts that are about 6 sizes too small for her. The youngest boy, sitting in the chair in the road, often runs around completely naked.

The oldest boy in the picture was selling cookie orders around Christmas time year before last for a school fundraiser and I ordered $22 worth. Months went by and no cookies. Was told no one received their cookies and the school was looking into it. I never got cookies or the $22 back and have had nothing to do with the dysfunctional trashy rats since.

No idea what's in the old wreck but it's not cardboard. Some construction material or other maybe. The picture I posted shows the grass recently cut over there. And that was the first time this year it had been cut. The grass was over knee high before it was cut. And the only reason it was cut was because the following day after cutting was "Father's Day" and the boy's "dad" chose to do "something" to endear himself I suppose.

I called the city information and asked who I should contact to report a property in that condition and was told to contact Code Enforcement. I just haven't gone down to the city office yet. I can't quite figure out why the city doesn't see what's going on and do something about it without my involvement or exposure to retribution.

The police have been to that address many times over the years, with the most recent visit being last week. The old woman that lives in the house used to foster animals and has contacts and influence within the city's Animal Control. Her daughter, the boy's "mother", appears to have some sort of familiarity with the local law enforcement. She can be charming when need be and finds ways to lie her way out of most any circumstance.

They have a feral cat colony they maintain over there. My guess is to help control rodents that likely scurry about the property over there. The old woman once told me that cats have a RIGHT to roam free. Additionally, the daughter and her husband have a dog they claim to be half Wolf (HA!), chained up in the yard outside the storage shed they live in. AND ... they have a young female dog they have bred twice. I think they sell the puppies. So there is one dog chained up and three other dogs that free roam.

So anyway, last week at 8A.M. I heard the dogs going wild and looked out my window. There was a young woman pushing a baby in a stroller down the street. Just out for a nice walk. And the dogs were barking at her. One of the dogs got behind her as she tried to protect her baby in the stroller. Then the dog went for the back of her leg. The woman was rightly terrified.

I rushed outside to help fend the dogs off as she dialed emergency 911. An Animal Control truck soon showed up with two officers, shortly followed by a police cruiser with one officer. At that point I went back into my house.

It took about 10minutes to finally get the teenage girl in the house to come to the door. The girl went out back to the shed to get the boy's (and her) "mother". It was 5-10 minutes more before the "mother" showed up to speak with the officers.

I watched as the "mother" did most of the talking. Well, giving the officers her spiel of charming BS. Any time speaking with the trashy rats, suspect that you are hearing a lie. The interaction took another 5-10 minutes and then Animal Control and the Police officer simply left, drove off. No ticket ... no dogs confiscated ... no nothing. I was shocked !!! Nothing !!!

So even if I do contact the city's Code Enforcement, what might I expect? ... nothing. I suspect they deal drugs from time to time over there too and who knows what kind of arrangement the woman and her husband might have with law enforcement.

Sorry to babble on and on and it's just the tip of the iceberg. Since nothing ever seems to touch the teflon trashy rats, I try to see them as "entertainment". Disgustingly foul entertainment.
It’s okay to call Child Protective Services. You can even have a talk with CPS about what will happen if you report abuse or neglect of the children; if they actually do have foster homes available or if the kids will have no choice but to go to a group home.

Examples of child neglect​

  • Not meeting a child's need for food, clothing, shelter or safety.
  • Leaving a child unwatched.
  • Leaving a child in an unsafe place.
  • Not seeking necessary medical attention for a child.
  • Not having a child attend school.

What is child abuse and neglect? Understanding warning signs and getting help
Child Abuse and Neglect - HelpGuide.org

As far as I know, at least in my state, if you ask them to keep the reporting party (you) confidential, CPS must do that. You do not have to take pictures or gather evidence. CPS will do that. It is helpful to keep a journal of things you see only to have dates and specifics if you call CPS. If you sound vague, that doesn’t help them do their jobs. If she is buddies with some cops, so what? Your job is only to report. If CPS and the police don’t do their jobs, that's not on YOU, that's on THEM.
 
If I had any hair left I'd probably have pulled it out by now anyway. What's the deal with people being unable to pronounce words or even select the proper word?

Seriously, "ex-pecially" is not a word. You "home in on" something, not "hone in" - or do you raise "honing pigeons" too?

And this crap comes from national news outlets?
 
I wish a CURSE upon the person who invented "fitted sheets",
that they will be rolled in 2 dozen of the monsters before they
are buried !!!!!!

I have one set of sheets where the top and bottom are tagged as being so. I am thankful for that because I usually try to install them wrong when left to my own devices. I guess a Sharpie pen marking in a discreet spot could help.
 
People that are too lazy to bring their shopping carts back into the grocery store, or at least to one of the cart corrals, but instead leave them right in the middle of a parking space. :mad: That happened to me the other day. But that's not the worst grocery store parking lot experiance I've had. The worst was once when I pulled into a parking space at Walmart and opened the door to get out and right there on the pavement was a shit filled pamper that someone had left.
 


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