Seriously we have to register to participate in the Senior Meals and that means filling out a National Aging Program Information Systems (NAPIS) Registration Form. My grandmother, the real Vida May, might go into a state of shock if she were aware of this interest in our sex lives.
It begins with "Please describe your gender in any way you prefer.
What is your gender? Are you transgender? Please describe your sexual orientation or sexual identity in anyway you want". "How do you describe your sexual orientation or gender identity"
Our choices are
Same-gender loving
Same-sex loving
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Straight
Pansexual
Asexual
Queer
Questioning
Not Listed/Please Specify
Don't know
I don't know what this question is asking
I don't want to answer.
How about I am attracted to good-looking and charming male robots with top-of-the-line AI and perfectly programmed to please me, with none of those disgusting or irritating things humans do? I don't have to cook for him, or clean up after him, because he does all of that and the only things he says to me are the things I want to hear. What sexual orientation does that make me? 
Or my grandmother might say, "To each, his own said the lady as she kissed the cow".
It begins with "Please describe your gender in any way you prefer.
What is your gender? Are you transgender? Please describe your sexual orientation or sexual identity in anyway you want". "How do you describe your sexual orientation or gender identity"
Our choices are
Same-gender loving
Same-sex loving
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Straight
Pansexual
Asexual
Queer
Questioning
Not Listed/Please Specify
Don't know
I don't know what this question is asking
I don't want to answer.

Or my grandmother might say, "To each, his own said the lady as she kissed the cow".