Why do so many delight in others misfortune?

Gardenlover

Gardenlover

Well-known Member
During this latest hurricane I've had numerous people contact me to see if my dwelling had been washed away during the hurricane, with what I perceived as a touch of glee in their voice. You should sell, they say. Yet, they still want to come visit when it's cold up north, drink my wine and enjoy the sunsets. Maybe I am being a bit too sensitive after the tenth call.

My true friends (Whatever that is) reach out in a more concerning matter, you can tell the difference.

By the way, it's just not hurricanes, but other hardships in life as well - kind of like I'm sorry it's happening to you, but better you than me. May the odds ever be in my favor.

Thoughts?
 
Gardenlover said:
During this latest hurricane I've had numerous people contact me to see if my dwelling had been washed away during the hurricane, with what I perceived as a touch of glee in their voice. You should sell, they say. Yet, they still want to come visit when it's cold up north, drink my wine and enjoy the sunsets. Maybe I am being a bit too sensitive after the tenth call.

My true friends (Whatever that is) reach out in a more concerning matter, you can tell the difference.

By the way, it's just not hurricanes, but other hardships in life as well - kind of like I'm sorry it's happening to you, but better you than me. May the odds ever be in my favor.

Thoughts?
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If I were you I'd distance myself from the people who just want to use you. They will be no loss.
 
Gardenlover said:
During this latest hurricane I've had numerous people contact me to see if my dwelling had been washed away during the hurricane, with what I perceived as a touch of glee in their voice. You should sell, they say. Yet, they still want to come visit when it's cold up north, drink my wine and enjoy the sunsets. Maybe I am being a bit too sensitive after the tenth call.

My true friends (Whatever that is) reach out in a more concerning matter, you can tell the difference.

By the way, it's just not hurricanes, but other hardships in life as well - kind of like I'm sorry it's happening to you, but better you than me. May the odds ever be in my favor.

Thoughts?
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Envy and hatred can motivate that kind of behavior. At least if they clearly identify themselves in that way they can be kept at a safe distance. The really dangerous ones are those who are skilled in hiding it and posing as good friends.
 
Gardenlover said:
During this latest hurricane I've had numerous people contact me to see if my dwelling had been washed away during the hurricane, with what I perceived as a touch of glee in their voice. You should sell, they say. Yet, they still want to come visit when it's cold up north, drink my wine and enjoy the sunsets. Maybe I am being a bit too sensitive after the tenth call.

My true friends (Whatever that is) reach out in a more concerning matter, you can tell the difference.

By the way, it's just not hurricanes, but other hardships in life as well - kind of like I'm sorry it's happening to you, but better you than me. May the odds ever be in my favor.

Thoughts?
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The ones who ask about you are your true friends. But, you know that. I'm glad you know the difference.
Get rid of the other "friends" and keep the dwelling.
I'm glad you're ok.
 
I have to admit that I get a little pleasure when I hear about bad things happening to evil people. It's rare, because it seems like usually, bad things happen to good people and bad people wind up living long, healthy lives where they're free to make other people miserable year after year. It's called comeuppance or karma when bad things do happen to them, and when you feel "delight" in their misfortunes, that's schadenfreude.
 
I think the story is a lot more complicated.

It also includes bitter envy by those who spent and squandered all their lives when they see that others who sacrificed, saved, and made good decisions come out better financially in retirement.

Often the come out demanding that the rules of the game be changed for them after the closing bell has rung.
 
HermitHogan said:
I have to admit that I get a little pleasure when I hear about bad things happening to evil people. It's rare, because it seems like usually, bad things happen to good people and bad people wind up living long, healthy lives where they're free to make other people miserable year after year. It's called comeuppance or karma when bad things do happen to them, and when you feel "delight" in their misfortunes, that's schadenfreude.
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You explained that so well I have little to add. I too find pleasure when "evil" people get caught and punished. The rest of us, *^&* happens. :)
 
Gardenlover said:
During this latest hurricane I've had numerous people contact me to see if my dwelling had been washed away during the hurricane, with what I perceived as a touch of glee in their voice. You should sell, they say. Yet, they still want to come visit when it's cold up north, drink my wine and enjoy the sunsets. Maybe I am being a bit too sensitive after the tenth call.

My true friends (Whatever that is) reach out in a more concerning matter, you can tell the difference.

By the way, it's just not hurricanes, but other hardships in life as well - kind of like I'm sorry it's happening to you, but better you than me. May the odds ever be in my favor.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...
It is rare that people really empathize with our hardships and suffering. To feel that way takes a very special kind of contact, other wise we suffer much of our misery on our own. You can share how you feel, but I don't expect people to empathize with me. Most people would rather not recall scrapping the bottom...too painful to mess up a good day.
 
hollydolly said:
...and have I had the misfortune to know quite a few of those in my life!!
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Most of the people I have known have fallen into the unfortunate category. Including close family members. Some were murderously jealous and violently disposed. One psychopathic jealous individual was was intending to set me on fire by dousing me with gasoline. Fortunately I was not there when he arrived. He in his rage, threw the gasoline at others and was arrested and sent to prison.
 
hollydolly said:
what the actual...? :eek:
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Yes, and unfortunately, I came very close to that horrendous misfortune. Not a pleasant memory to contemplate. All because this certain beautiful girl named Norma had chosen me as her boyfriend instead of him. I was informed that the had knocked on my parents apartment door with that gasoline on hand looking for me. Maybe the envious punk would have set us all on fire had I been there with that girl. Fortunately, I had walked her home and was far away on Tichner street. SOB!
 
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Radrook said:
Yes, and unfortunately, I came very close to that horrendous misfortune. Not a pleasant memory to contemplate. All because this certain beautiful girl named Norma had chosen me as her boyfriend instead of him. SOB!
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ooooh jeez...I hope you moved far away from that nutter.... Norma certainly had a very close shave ...
 
hollydolly said:
ooooh jeez...I hope you moved far away from that nutter.... Norma certainly had a very close shave ...
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Very true. She did escape that maniac. So did the babies in strollers which he almost incinerated when he threw that Molotov cocktail at a rival gang after failing to find me. Guess the bastard needed to blow off steam. BTW We did eventually move, but it was involuntarily after my best friend, whom my parents had warned me was murderously envious and who had been the one who had to cracked my head with a pickle bottle thrown from his apartment room, tampered with the project elevator causing a hazard, and then cunningly placing the items that he had used in my room. Then accused me of having done it.

We were evicted. But I had seen that other maniac dude after he was released from prison and he looked docile. Maybe the homies in prison had taught him some humility?
 
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Muskrat said:
I think sometimes people are just unintentionally jealous of others lives. They become mired in their own sorrows and want someone else to share misfortune so “they know what it feels like”. It is hard for those personalities to rejoice in anothers fortunes.
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There was this kid named Johnny who was always saying that other people's happiness made him unhappy. He would go out of his way to change that via insults, bragging, or any other way at his disposal.
 
Increasing, excessive, Earth human overpopulation in a competitive, dog eat dog, economic and wealth driven world, will increasingly cause people to value lives of others less so. Each year we in the Western World are pummeled with constant news of death due to wars, murderous maniacs, diseases, storms, epidemics, earthquakes, vehicle accidents, and much more that over time deadens each of us to misery of distant others.
 
Gardenlover said:

Why do so many delight in others misfortune?​

During this latest hurricane I've had numerous people contact me to see if my dwelling had been washed away during the hurricane, with what I perceived as a touch of glee in their voice. You should sell, they say. Yet, they still want to come visit when it's cold up north, drink my wine and enjoy the sunsets. Maybe I am being a bit too sensitive after the tenth call.

My true friends (Whatever that is) reach out in a more concerning matter, you can tell the difference.

By the way, it's just not hurricanes, but other hardships in life as well - kind of like I'm sorry it's happening to you, but better you than me. May the odds ever be in my favor.

Thoughts?
Click to expand...

No, @Gardenlover, you're not being too sensitive. There's a name for this, it's schadenfreude.

Britannica definition- "schadenfreude, the emotional experience of pleasure in response to another’s misfortune. Schadenfreude is a German word that combines Schaden, which means “damage,” and Freude, which means “joy.” The concept is common to people across cultures, but some languages do have comparable words."

The below excerpt is from a Literary Hub article that you might find interesting. > https://lithub.com/not-just-a-german-word-a-brief-history-of-schadenfreude/

"The Japanese have a saying: “The misfortunes of others taste like honey.” The French speak of joie maligne, a diabolical delight in other people’s suffering. The Danish talk of skadefryd, and the Dutch of leedvermaak. In Hebrew enjoying other people’s catastrophes is simcha la‑ed, in Mandarin xìng‑zāi‑lè‑huò, in Serbo-Croat it is zlùradōst and in Russian zloradstvo. More than 2,000 years ago, Romans spoke of malevolentia. Earlier still, the Greeks described epichairekakia (literally epi, over, chairo, rejoice, kakia, disgrace). “To see others suffer does one good,” wrote the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. “To make others suffer even more so. This is a hard saying, but a mighty, human, all-too-human principle.”

The below excerpt is from Britannica > https://www.britannica.com/topic/schadenfreude

Characteristics​

"Psychologists describe schadenfreude as having variants based on context and motivation. For example, some psychologists describe three categories of context for schadenfreude: justice, rivalry, and aggression. These contexts correlate with three distinct motivations: social justice, self-evaluation, and social identity. In the context of justice, people feel pleasure when they observe punishment in which someone gets what they deserve. In the context of rivalry, people feel pleasure when they compare themselves to one who suffers a negative event. In the context of aggression, a person feels pleasure when a member of an out-group, such as a rival sports team or political party, suffers a negative event, which solidifies the in-group member’s social identity.

Other psychologists have described schadenfreude with four context categories: aversion, injustice, identification, and compensation. With aversion, there is first a feeling of dislike toward another person, and when that person experiences misfortune, one feels pleasure. With injustice, a person feels pleasure when observing a deserved punishment. With identification, a rival’s loss boosts one’s social identity. With compensation, one’s own misfortune occurs first, and when another person experiences the same misfortune, one feels pleasure.

The link between schadenfreude and empathy is an ongoing topic of study. Psychologists note that schadenfreude occurs when empathy is absent, such as when one can dehumanize the person experiencing misfortune. With empathy, we feel bad for this person, as we would feel with our own personal misfortune. However, with dehumanization, empathy erodes and schadenfreude can more easily occur."
 
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