Leftover Men Importing Wives

I know another story which happened in my home town. A German man married a Thai woman and had a Thai restaurant with her.

She managed to learn German very well, got a divorce from him and opened her own restaurant with her family members from Thailand.

Her ex husband committed suicide.
 
These are the young men deemed unsuitable to date by young women.

The biggest factors seem to be height and income, along with difficult-to-quantify attractiveness in appearance.

The bulk of women, far less encumbered by the cost of unintended pregnancy now, have become happy serially hooking up with the small fraction of "Chads and Tyrones" out there who are happy to oblige and take advantage.

Those guys are less likely to form relationships or marry, but when they do they can be abusive and/or get bored and move on to the next woman.

So you see a lot of women with no kids or a basket of puppies with different fathers from the 10% of men deemed acceptable.

The "leftovers" are the guys considered "3rd rate" or below.
 

dilettante said:
Ok.

So there is no problem, and young guys interested in traditional marriage and family are fools. Potential "foreign" brides are all psychopathic criminals out trolling for victims to exploit. Any guy with an interest in them clearly has nefarious intent as well and is a racist, misogynist, lazy, unsuccessful, deplorable to boot. He fills the entire Bingo card.

The many cross-national relationships that end in happy marriage are false and maybe just some far-right media creation, a total fiction.

And of course, denial is indeed a river in Egypt. :rolleyes:
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Sure there are successful marriages with women from other countries. But the cultural gap exists and should not be underestimated.
 
dilettante said:
These are the young men deemed unsuitable to date by young women.

The biggest factors seem to be height and income, along with difficult-to-quantify attractiveness in appearance.

The bulk of women, far less encumbered by the cost of unintended pregnancy now, have become happy serially hooking up with the small fraction of "Chads and Tyrones" out there who are happy to oblige and take advantage.

Those guys are less likely to form relationships or marry, but when they do they can be abusive and/or get bored and move on to the next woman.

So you see a lot of women with no kids or a basket of puppies with different fathers from the 10% of men deemed acceptable.

The "leftovers" are the guys considered "3rd rate" or below.
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This is true also.
 
dilettante said:
Ok.

So there is no problem, and young guys interested in traditional marriage and family are fools. Potential "foreign" brides are all psychopathic criminals out trolling for victims to exploit. Any guy with an interest in them clearly has nefarious intent as well and is a racist, misogynist, lazy, unsuccessful, deplorable to boot. He fills the entire Bingo card.

The many cross-national relationships that end in happy marriage are false and maybe just some far-right media creation, a total fiction.

And of course, denial is indeed a river in Egypt. :rolleyes:
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You are resorting to hyperbole, a clear sign that you are not winning this argument, or at the very least, feel that you are losing.

It isn't necessary to have our every opinion validated by others. Most of us are only half right at least half of the time.
 
George1959 said:
This is true also.
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To me, at this time of life the income is only an indication how responsible the other person has been. It doesn't matter the amount of income so much as a stable, rational life well lived. When I was single a man I dated once came into my small house and stated that he wished he had a house like mine. It made me feel that he was looking for a different relationship than me. After dating another man for several months, he asked me what it would take to get me sell the house, so I asked what would I do after that...no comment. He also wanted to manage my aunt's money since she had a big house near the Berkeley campus.

So again I say, it takes a long time to get to know someone well enough to consider marriage, anything else is fool hearty, especially when the person's culture is one that hates Americans.
 
My brother in law who was an Army officer divorced his American wife after 10 years of marriage. He said: "I will never marry an American woman again...they are too high maintenance"! (She wanted a good paying and fulfilling career and an education).

He takes a tour in Korea. Finds a Korean wife. Very nice looking, hard working, Korean young lady. HE spent more money bringing her relatives back and forth to the states, and her for visits back to Korea; he also spent tons of money educating the daughters (education very important to Korean mothers)! They had three girls; but then wife takes up with Korean Jehovah's Witnesses and he divorces her because she is unhappy he will not convert to JW, and he wants her to stop letting herself be brainwashed. (He is a non smoker, non-drinker, nice guy; but not great good looks, but good personality). He gets 30 lbs overweight, she gets tired he has gotten overweight; she is still fairly in shape. The get divorced after 18 years of marriage.

So - at age 66 he - very overweight, bald American man goes to the Philippines and brings home a new wife and young new wife has 8 year old son...he brings son, too.

I have other experiences with male military men wanting Asian wives. I think the men want to be loved and accepted for who they are...but honestly, can't the men see these cultures have some very poor women who will do anything to get a green card and hook up with anyone who will bring them to America?

And I don't blame the women, but rather feel sorry for the older 50+ aged men when I see them with these Asian women/brides who look like 16 year old girls, who are like a little girl's size 10, with hair to their waist, etc...very cute young women; but when you look closely their faces and eyes look old - tired in some way.

And these relationships are so lovey dovey in the beginning the guys being so starry eyed at these girlie girls; and the men bring her WHOLE family over for her, and they all end up living together or he ends up buying a home in her country for visits for her homeland, and her family to live in - for like $45,000 /us. The whole thing does feel rather transactional in nature because it is HARD blending two distant cultures - there is much give and take. The women from Asian countries are very very concerned about pleasing their man though, I have to say that, and at first some will wait on him and treat him like a king, impress his friends.

I cannot say what I would or would not do if I were one of these older men, nor if I were one of these young Asian women...but I can only HOPE that neither are being exploited and all is good for them.
 
DaveA said:
Glad I met my wife back in the early 50's, before the "standards" were raised. A few years later I might not have met the grade.😭
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DaveA, I think what has happened is that due to American women having more opportunities to enter higher paying traditionally male fields like engineering, math, science based high power jobs, American women are choosier when picking mates and even deciding they don't want to marry or have families or they can have children without even getting married as they are fully capable these days of managing on their equalled up incomes.

Back in "the day" before equal jobs were something women could hope for, $1.10 an hour jobs is what women always got, and it was always menial non-educating type jobs, like receptionist or maid, or clerking in a store. Women didn't get into jobs that made "real" money - so back then the only other choice other than pure poverty was getting married for many women. Women often had to have education in nursing to get in the military; whereas men did not. There were limited jobs for women in the military in peacetime.

So now: women REALLY do have an ability to be more picky, and men are no longer seen as a way out of poverty for some women these days.
 
That's strange because I was always getting hit on by American women in my youth and I was far from being a billionaire. In fact, I drove a taxi for a while in San Francisco and many of my female passengers very often expressed their frustration at not being able to find available men. Magazine.jpg
 
dilettante said:
..... the advent of The Pill and a rise in abortion. ...... There is now a growing fraction of males who find themselves left out as in times under official and unofficial polygamy. A fraction of such "leftover men" have taken to "importing" wives or even emigrating to lands where monogamy is still traditional. .
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I think we have learned that modern women cannot be expected to adhere to rules of fidelity for more than maybe 5 to 10 years. That also applies to women who have been imported into the modern world. What's love got to do with it? Polygamy is a term that applies to marriage but who needs to marry them?
 
Beezer said:
Right. The term for a man who has to get a bride from overseas is 'loser'.
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Calling men who go overseas to find brides "losers" sounds pretty bitter. Are you sure you’re not projecting your own frustrations onto others? Let’s be real—marrying an American wife is no guaranteed win. In fact, it’s more like rolling the dice at a casino where the odds are stacked against you.

Divorce rates in the U.S. hover around 50%, and when things fall apart, men often end up footing the bill—alimony, child support, splitting assets—you name it. The system is practically designed to ensure men walk away with an empty wallet. Plenty of guys who followed the route you seem to advocate end up being the real "losers" when they’re stuck paying for a marriage that didn’t work out.

So, maybe, just maybe, men who go overseas are looking for something different—traditional values, stronger family bonds, or relationships that aren’t based on modern entitlement. Instead of knocking their choices, maybe take a moment to reflect on why they’re opting out of the American dating scene. Who knows? You might learn something.

In the end, marriage is a gamble no matter where you go, but it seems like you're awfully focused on other people’s chips. Why’s that?
 
Beezer said:
Yes. They are all looking for a woman who would be out of their league in their home country.
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That's an interesting dodge. You didn’t answer the questions I asked, but instead resorted to an oversimplified and hostile generalization. Claiming that 'they’re all looking for women out of their league' might make for a good soundbite, but it’s far from a real argument. In fact, your comment reeks of bitterness and condescension.

Bottom-line, dismissing the choices of others out of hand doesn’t make your argument stronger—it just makes you look like you’re projecting your own insecurities onto others. So, no offense intended, but your take sounds like it’s coming from someone who hasn’t traveled much or interacted with cultures outside of his own. If you had, you’d know that what people value in relationships varies widely across the world. Not every culture prioritizes the same traits or has the same expectations as modern Western dating.

Instead of knocking others for finding happiness in ways that don’t align with your very limited worldview, maybe reflect on why this topic gets you so worked up. People who are secure in their own choices don’t usually feel the need to tear down others.
 
We need to take away their pills, exclude them from the work force, and make them scrub floors, so we can restore balance and return to the golden days of yore. Alternatively, men could just move to the countries where all these man hungry women are coming from and find the perfect woman without having to get them by FedEx delivery.
 
oslooskar said:
Beezer, don’t be bitter at Howdy Doody just because he scored a supermodel and you’re stuck with porno movies and frozen dinners.
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I married my own supermodel from my own country...been together nearly 35 years. You can spew all of your nonsense till the cows come home, but in the end I am right. The majority of these men who seek women overseas don't measure up in their home countries and need to pick the lower hanging fruit from other nations.

I'm right. You're wrong. Deal with it.
 
oslooskar said:
That's strange because I was always getting hit on by American women in my youth and I was far from being a billionaire. In fact, I drove a taxi for a while in San Francisco and many of my female passengers very often expressed their frustration at not being able to find available men. View attachment 387188
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It has something to do with the O’shaunnesy dam in Yosemite.
 
Leftover... So they weren't used up right away, and have more to offer later?
Such a ridiculous term...
 

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