Choosing to be happy? A question for you.

chic

chic

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Can we really choose to be happy or is it more a choice to put things in perspective and choose not to react to bad things? This time of year makes me reflect on things like this. When I make a conscious choice to be happier, some disaster always befalls me. Has this ever happened to you? It's like a curse or something.

But what we can do is try not to react to the negative things that happen by blowing them out of proportion.

I'm not making a New Year's resolution but I would like to become a happier person. What do you think?
 

I don't think being happy (or sad) is a matter of choice, most of the time. How can you choose to feel a certain way? Our emotions are a reaction to what is happening to us, to our loved ones, and to the world in general, how we feel physically, etc. Happiness is not a thing we can just plow into and say, "I am going to be happy today," and presto, it works! If only.

Blowing things out of proportion is a different story. I guess we can make a conscious choice not to do that, but I have serious doubts that it works most of the time. If a person is wired to do that, they are going to do it. It's who they are.

If we want to be happier, probably the best way to do it is to find the things in our lives that make us happy, and pursue those things. But that's different from choosing to be happy. If we are choosing the right paths of thinking, the right activities, the right friends, and so on, probably our level of happiness will go up.
 
I think if someone says they "chose to be happy," they're fooling themselves. What they may be doing is choosing to ignore something or sweep it under the rug. They may have chosen to "fake it 'til they make it" but that's not happiness. We can choose how to deal with whatever comes along, but we don't get to choose happiness or sadness... it's just there.
 

Years ago when I had big time panic attacks, afraid to enter Walmart, afraid to be in restaurants alone, I noticed old people, a lot of them.

Walking around with air tanks. Walking around with tubes wired into their bodies.

It helped me to, consciously, change my viewpoint.

I know that I can take a positive way of thinking and living much farther, with genuine bliss for that next breath, that next morning that I wake up alive.

Because after all ... there is coffee. ☕️
 
Choosing is the keyword in your question. How we react to any situation is the choice.

Quote from your post chic.
" When I make a conscious choice to be happier, some disaster always befalls me."

Really or does it just seem that way? The other thread of "why do bad things happen to good people" pretty much sums up the idea that life has it's ups & downs for everyone.
 
I'm not sure.

What I do know is that sometimes I feel like I can glance into an abyss of misery. I always catch myself and choose to be happy.

I went through a period of recurring panic attacks, and then ended up in the hospital diagnosed with serious issues. A low-dose medication eliminated the panics, and after a couple of years most of the serious health issues either went away or were brought under control with medication, diet, and exercise.

So being past all that may just make it easier for me to feel happy. Or perhaps my standards have been reset pretty low? :ROFLMAO:

No pizza, no ice cream, carb restrictions, no real vices left at all. But I try to find "fun" things to putter with and call it good.

I think I choose to be happy.
 
We have the ability to prioritize events. If we focus more on the positive than the negative, we'll be happier. That's not to say we should completely ignore the negative; sometimes we need to take action to prevent the negative from having too much effect on our lives.

We could sit around and dwell on the negative. If you read the news, it's almost all negative... plane crashes, corruption, crime, death, destruction, and one crisis after another. Some of it is important and relevant to our lives — some, not so much. Actually, most of it has no effect on our lives, whatsoever.

The brain is like the muscles in your body. The parts you exercise get larger and stronger while the parts you don't use so much, atrophy. If you exercise the parts of your brain responsible for positive thoughts and emotions, you'll be happier. Positive thoughts will prevail and become dominant.
 
I have chronic back pain. When it's acting up, I don't give a crap about being happy, or anything else. And when the pain is bearable, I can have a life again. My point being, if people don't feel happy, there is a cause. Without getting rid of that cause, we can't be happy. If happiness seems unattainable, people need help in eliminating the cause of their suffering.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I have chronic back pain. When it's acting up, I don't give a crap about being happy, or anything else. And when the pain is bearable, I can have a life again. My point being, if people don't feel happy, there is a cause. Without getting rid of that cause, we can't be happy. If happiness seems unattainable, people need help in eliminating the cause of their suffering.
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That's a different ballgame. 😒
 
I don't think there is a "happy switch" which we can use to tune our brain to the "happy" station. At least, I don't think I've found it. And we aren't going to be happy all the time. But I do believe it is possible to be happy more of the time. It's probably going to involve some behavior changes. Maybe perspective changes or changes in what we focus on as well.

It's a good question.
 
To me each day is a life...
Each Day A Life

by Robert William Service

I count each day a little life,
With birth and death complete;
I cloister it from care and strife
And keep it sane and sweet.
II
With eager eyes I greet the morn,
Exultant as a boy,
Knowing that I am newly born
To wonder and to joy.
III
And when the sunset splendours wane
And ripe for rest am I,
Knowing that I will live again,
Exultantly I die.
IV
O that all Life were but a Day
Sunny and sweet and sane!
And that at Even I might say:
"I sleep to wake again."
 
When were you happy in life? Why do you think you were so happy? Was your happiness based on illusions?
Does happiness depend upon illusion?
How much does hope and optimism play a role in one's happiness?

How much is your happiness based upon being of importance to others? As you age and maybe pull away from others, does that affect your happiness?

What makes you happy and do you seek that now?

Your life is a voyage of self discovery. The more you're able to define yourself, the more joy and contentment you'll experience.
 

Abraham Lincoln supposedly said "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be".​

I think that's generally true, but when you can't find happiness you can still find contentment.

"Lord grant me the strength to change that which I can change, the serenity to accept what which I cannot change, and the wisdom to distinguish between the two." If you ask,, He will.
 
You can't force yourself to be happy, but choosing how to deal with difficulties, solving problems, or being able to eliminate them would most likely make you happier.

One thing that helps me is to keep my expectations low. Expecting too much often leads to disappointment.
 
Perhaps it's based on what your happiness is based on. I get happiness from accomplishing tasks. I'm drawing again. I take my dog for a walk. I knit and crochet. Being grateful for what we have fosters happiness. Focusing on what we don't have fosters unhappiness. Aside from awful events, yes we can choose happiness to an extent.
 
I try to remember that happiness is not something we can grab hold of and keep. Like sadness, it comes and goes.

I don't know if it's really within our power to make another person happy, but I recall times when I've made another person unhappy, and those times are some of my biggest regrets.
 
Bella said:
You can't force yourself to be happy, but choosing how to deal with difficulties, solving problems, or being able to eliminate them would most likely make you happier.

One thing that helps me is to keep my expectations low. Expecting too much often leads to disappointment.
Click to expand...
Amen - especially to the part in bold.
 
Tommy said:
when you can't find happiness you can still find contentment.
Click to expand...
Contentment is my happiness. I suppose they have slight differences, but they are one and the same to me. That may not apply to others. At one time, while I was searching for happiness, I found contentment, and realized what I was looking for wasn't exactly what I thought it was. It was one of those insights that came as a surprise. But then insights always come as a surprise. At least that's the way I experience them.
 

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