Choosing to be happy? A question for you.

I got to wondering if this boils down to semantics. Some of the examples I see here of "happiness" is what I would call simply contentment that could be lost in an instant.

So anyhow, I did some research... and I think some of us are talking about happiness and some about joy. After a good meal, a good walk, or a great hug, I'm happy... but it's not the same as... joy which is internal. Anyhow, here's what I found:

"While often used interchangeably, "happiness" is generally considered a more fleeting emotion tied to external events, like receiving a gift, while "joy" is a deeper, more lasting feeling of contentment that often stems from within, like spending time with loved ones; essentially, happiness is a temporary positive feeling based on circumstances, while joy is a more profound state of well-being that can persist even through challenges."
 
CallMeKate said:
I got to wondering if this boils down to semantics. Some of the examples I see here of "happiness" is what I would call simply contentment that could be lost in an instant.

So anyhow, I did some research... and I think some of us are talking about happiness and some about joy. After a good meal, a good walk, or a great hug, I'm happy... but it's not the same as... joy which is internal. Anyhow, here's what I found:

"While often used interchangeably, "happiness" is generally considered a more fleeting emotion tied to external events, like receiving a gift, while "joy" is a deeper, more lasting feeling of contentment that often stems from within, like spending time with loved ones; essentially, happiness is a temporary positive feeling based on circumstances, while joy is a more profound state of well-being that can persist even through challenges."
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I think that's a pretty good explanation of what I feel about contentment. It really does seem more profound than happiness, and more enduring. Joy is a component contentment also, but contentment trumps joy too, at least how I interpret the words. But again there are semantics involved in all of this.
 

chic said:
Can we really choose to be happy or is it more a choice to put things in perspective and choose not to react to bad things? This time of year makes me reflect on things like this. When I make a conscious choice to be happier, some disaster always befalls me. Has this ever happened to you? It's like a curse or something.

But what we can do is try not to react to the negative things that happen by blowing them out of proportion.

I'm not making a New Year's resolution but I would like to become a happier person. What do you think?
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Yes, you can learn to put things into perspective and not react. But you can't choose to be happy, imo.

The world today is all about blowing things out of proportion, exaggerating, and being offended. Thank Social Media and the algorythm.
 
I read this philosophical book some time ago, regarding the Stoics perspective, and it addresses your question quite well.
At the heart of the matter is the illusion that we go through life thinking that we respond to events and stimulus, but the truth is that we respond to our interpretation of those things. The book goes into how to manage that.
Anyway, here is the link if you care to read it. I found it to be illuminating.

https://www.amazon.com/Practicing-S...sprefix=The+Practicing+,stripbooks,116&sr=1-1
 
These are very good answers and suggestions.

A part 2 of this question has occurred to me. Were you happier when you were younger? Why do you think that was?

I was much happier when I was younger. I think this was because I did what I wanted to do most of the time with people who liked me and were like me. As we get older we get stuck more doing what others want us to do and not what we would prefer.:unsure:
 
I was happier when I was younger. That ended at age 10 years old.......long story,,,,,,unwise parental decisions.

Since then? Contentment is a doable thing. Contentment is better than happiness because it's achievable and lasts longer.
Happiness to me means joy and gladness and it never persists for more than a few days.

Actually contentment or whatever version of sentiment that someone might consider happy, comes as a side effect or by-product of deliberately pursuing a meaningful life purpose and then achieving that goal closely enough that one can realistically say, "Good enough! That's as good as it's gonna get"

Pursuing perfection is a sure formula for dissatisfaction.
In my opinion.
 
I say I choose to be happy and whether it is the right definition or not doesn't matter to me. I get up in the morning and often I can barely walk a few feet to the bathroom. Once I have my coffee and start to feel better I tell myself how great my day is going to be. If someone comes to my door I am smiling and welcome them happily (no matter how bad I might be feeling). So I think I do choose to be happy. I refuse to be a whining complaining person who appears negative to others.
 
Happiness, fear, sadness, joy, other "feelings" are just chemical created emotions.
Emotions are all transient.
As are all thoughts - also chemically created things to put 2 and 2 together or whatever to "understand" a moment in time.
Emotions and thoughts are not a part of "you" a physical being.

I notice that as I am older I am very content and satisfied I have done my very best with the hand of cards I was dealt.
 
A discussion of happiness for people in our modern world is often dominated by use of drugs, a double-edged sword shortcut to potentially viscerally lifting one's mood, feeling good, well beyond what is normally possible. So in that way, yes people can choose to be happy at least temporarily however there is always a price to pay.

Was wondering if anyone posting on this thread would have anything to say about how significant numbers of people use drugs as part of their behaviors seeking happiness. The most used drug worldwide that affects their happiness is caffeine through coffee, tea, and caffeinated soft drinks like cola.

I haven't consumed any caffeine since age 20 for medical reasons but can occasionally consume chocolate that contains a related caffeine chemical theobromine. Last week binging, I overdosed eating 72 Belgian chocolate candies but survived to live another day to tell this story (because the 3 boxes eventually were empty) :)

A more thorough basic treatment of the subject here:
The Science Of Happiness: What Really Makes Us Happy? | NOVA Psychology
 
David777 said:
A discussion of happiness for people in our modern world is often dominated by use of drugs, a double-edged sword shortcut to potentially viscerally lifting one's mood, feeling good, well beyond what is normally possible. So in that way, yes people can choose to be happy at least temporarily however there is always a price to pay.

Was wondering if anyone posting on this thread would have anything to say about how significant numbers of people use drugs as part of their behaviors seeking happiness. The most used drug worldwide that affects their happiness is caffeine through coffee, tea, and caffeinated soft drinks like cola.

I haven't consumed any caffeine since age 20 for medical reasons but can occasionally consume chocolate that contains a related caffeine chemical theobromine. Last week binging, I overdosed eating 72 Belgian chocolate candies but survived to live another day to tell this story (because the 3 boxes eventually were empty) :)

A more thorough basic treatment of the subject here:
The Science Of Happiness: What Really Makes Us Happy? | NOVA Psychology
Click to expand...
I get it, the box 1/2 mt or 1/2 full !
 
I agree with those who mentioned that it is how you react to events that helps determine happiness.

Several years ago we went to see Wicked at a local theater. We chose to valet my car, since it was fairly new, pristine and my pride and joy at the time. I watched in horror as a brand new parking attendant misjudged the distance and pulled the front into a concrete bench. I could have gotten angry and hysterical but instead I chose to go in and watch the first act of the play. I never berated the parking attendant because it was his first day and I could only imagine how bad he already felt. I wasn't going to let it ruin our day, and why should I get upset over something I couldn't control? We signed the paperwork at intermission, I had the car fixed, good as new.

Recently I ran over a severe pothole and got a flat. When I took the car to Discount Tire they said it had bent the rim and it needed a new wheel as well. Again, I could have said "woe is me" but I had them order a new tire and wheel and I was good to go within a couple of days.

Lastly, I had severe neck and shoulder issues a little over a year ago and was diagnosed with arthritis. I had trouble getting off the couch after sitting for a while. I chose to do the exercises the physical therapist gave me and continued going to the gym until the issue was resolved. I didn't know whether it would ever go away or not or not but I tried to live my life normally. I'm not dismissing anyone with debilitating physical problems because that is a completely different issue.

When I was younger, I used to get stressed and even lose sleep over things I couldn't control. I would get angry at companies that provided sub-par service and people that I though had slighted me. Now that I'm older I've learned it isn't worth my time. Focusing on the positive certainly has helped me live a happier life.
 
Just my personal experience. I made happiness my goal for several years. I was desperately unhappy. I read every book on happiness I could find, and there are a lot. After a while, I was so miserable, I gave up.

Then I started on my goal of self-compassion. It's a more difficult goal, but I think I'm feeling better. I give myself a break (as much as I'm able to) when I'm not happy or things aren't going the way I want.

I can't say for certain why things changed because life circumstances change too. My life changed for the better externally when I started to feel better.

I think it's difficult to be happy or at ease when dealing with immediate things like pain or lack of resources. I know that some people do it, but I think it's difficult.

Edit: I just read that back, wondering why I was getting all the hugs. I don't mean I'm in pain or have lack of resources. Sorry, that was bad communicating. I just meant that people who are in that situation have a difficult road and deserve compassion, from others and themselves. I changed my post to read better. Sorry for the confusion.
 
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seadoug said:
I agree with those who mentioned that it is how you react to events that helps determine happiness.

Several years ago we went to see Wicked at a local theater. We chose to valet my car, since it was fairly new, pristine and my pride and joy at the time. I watched in horror as a brand new parking attendant misjudged the distance and pulled the front into a concrete bench. I could have gotten angry and hysterical but instead I chose to go in and watch the first act of the play. I never berated the parking attendant because it was his first day and I could only imagine how bad he already felt. I wasn't going to let it ruin our day, and why should I get upset over something I couldn't control? We signed the paperwork at intermission, I had the car fixed, good as new.

Recently I ran over a severe pothole and got a flat. When I took the car to Discount Tire they said it had bent the rim and it needed a new wheel as well. Again, I could have said "woe is me" but I had them order a new tire and wheel and I was good to go within a couple of days.

Lastly, I had severe neck and shoulder issues a little over a year ago and was diagnosed with arthritis. I had trouble getting off the couch after sitting for a while. I chose to do the exercises the physical therapist gave me and continued going to the gym until the issue was resolved. I didn't know whether it would ever go away or not or not but I tried to live my life normally. I'm not dismissing anyone with debilitating physical problems because that is a completely different issue.

When I was younger, I used to get stressed and even lose sleep over things I couldn't control. I would get angry at companies that provided sub-par service and people that I though had slighted me. Now that I'm older I've learned it isn't worth my time. Focusing on the positive certainly has helped me live a happier life.
Click to expand...
I've been trying all my life to learn those lessons, but haven't succeeded. You're better off than me by far. :)
 
Every so often I pause to count my blessings. I always find they outweigh my trials and tribulations.

I imbibe happiness when I drink in the beauty of nature and when I feed the birds that visit my garden.

I let go of painful or hurtful memories and have come to terms with my own failings. I have forgiven people who have been unkind in the past and I have stopped beating myself up for my own failings.

I have learned that love is a verb and not a noun. I choose to love everyone in my family and I am surrounded by their love for me. I am grateful that they love me.

So, taking all of the above into account, I believe that we can choose to be happy, but it is not the same thing as wishing for happiness. It requires a change of mindset.
 
Way I see it is, if you can power up to a Waldo World and walk a mile around in it.

If you feel Ok & complaining in the self-Check-out, u-good and so lucky.
 
I think I agree with what I found on the internet:

"
There is no scientific evidence that the law of attraction works, but many people believe in it and use it in their lives. The law of attraction is a New Thought belief that states that "like attracts like" and that what we put out into the universe, we receive back. It is also known by other names, such as manifestation and lucky girl syndrome.

Some say that the law of attraction can produce positive changes in people's lives because it taps into spirituality. Others say that the law of attraction is pseudoscience and that its conclusions are based on incorrect assumptions.

Some research supports positive thinking and visualization, which may help with motivation, confidence, and resilience. For example, a 2010 review found that visualizing desires increased the likelihood of them becoming a reality.

Here are some tips for using the law of attraction:
    • Focus on what you want: Focus on what you want to happen, instead of what you don't want.
    • Believe you can get what you want: Believe that it's possible to achieve your goals.
    • Use "secret shifters": When you catch yourself having a negative thought, use something that puts you in a good mood, like reflecting on a good memory or calling a friend.
    • Set goals and create a routine: Set goals, create a routine, and go on a journey of self-discovery.
    • Look for the positive side of things: Actively look for the positive side of an issue to grow your self-esteem and confidence. "
 

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