Choosing to be happy? A question for you.

feywon said:
I enjoy Sadhguru too! In my experience a sense of humor is common in spiritual people.

There are different types of meditation like transcendental, Silva Method (the formal training in it i had), but it boils down to a kind of self hypnosis in a way. FMRI studies have shown that generally it involves alpha brainwaves. Some prayer and religious practices can produce similar states.
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I might check out Sadhguru. A sense of humor is so important and present in the smartest people.
 

Wow... I thought I was having very strong deja vu and it was kind of freaking me out. Everything sounded familiar... BUT... Chic, did you realize that you started this very same thread on Jan 20, 2024? No wonder it all sounded so familiar! :LOL:
 

I don't think we can make ourselves be truly happy by the flick of a switch, I believe it takes emotional training. It's one of the reasons I pray every night even though I don't believe in God, praying is my way of expressing gratitude for the positive things in my life. I use to find it much to easy too worry and stress about things, you slowly dig yourself into a pit of despair and it becomes impossible to see the sunshine.

I've never been depressed but I also wasn't happy, by acknowledging and focusing on the positives I am a much much happier person. Sure the bad still happens, and I have to deal with that, but every night I say my thanks for the good and it helps wash some of the pain away.
 
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I like Martin Seligman's theory of happiness.

Martin Seligman's theory of happiness is rooted in Positive Psychology and focuses on understanding and enhancing well-being. He outlines his theory in the PERMA model, which consists of five key elements that contribute to happiness and flourishing:

Positive Emotions: Experiencing joy, gratitude, hope, and other uplifting emotions.
Engagement: Being deeply involved or absorbed in activities, often referred to as "flow."
Relationships: Building and maintaining strong, positive connections with others.
Meaning: Finding purpose and a sense of fulfillment by contributing to something larger than oneself.
Accomplishment: Pursuing and achieving goals for a sense of mastery and pride.

Seligman emphasizes that true happiness comes not just from fleeting pleasures but from cultivating a balanced and meaningful life through these elements.
 
Warrigal said:
Every so often I pause to count my blessings. I always find they outweigh my trials and tribulations.

I let go of painful or hurtful memories and have come to terms with my own failings. I have forgiven people who have been unkind in the past and I have stopped beating myself up for my own failings.

I have learned that love is a verb and not a noun. I choose to love everyone in my family and I am surrounded by their love for me. I am grateful that they love me.

So, taking all of the above into account, I believe that we can choose to be happy, but it is not the same thing as wishing for happiness. It requires a change of mindset.
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Completely agree with all you wrote, WG.

I'm basically a happy person, or at least a contented one. Not sure of the difference, but either way I'm in a good place. I have a great life, so why wouldn't I be happy? (No need to rehash the ways my life is great, most here have already read it. Probably more than once.)

I've learned to clean up problems in relationships very quickly. In my experience, time heals few wounds. To the contrary, it generally causes them to fester.

My energy is largely focused on the concentric circles of my family, friends, neighbors and neighborhood.

The news and politics? I can't describe how thoroughly disinterested I've chosen to become on both fronts. I check headlines on AP or The Guardian for a quick overview of what's happening in the world, occasionally click on a story but mostly don't, then merrily continue on with my day. Makes me a happier, less frustrated human.

Even on SF, I'm increasingly enjoying the wheat and disregarding the little bit of chaff we have here. I frequently remind myself that I don't have to attend every argument I'm invited to.
 
SamiD said:
I seldom just sit still and meditate. I did that when I was younger. I graduated from that to Tai Chi using my own mantras with each move. I do my Tai Chi every morning and it makes me feel calm and healthy. I do moves that bring focus on being female and finding unrealized strength. That gives me both physical and mental strength and brings about a warm wave of happiness.

Today, on this fine morning, with my three quarters century old body and this century approaching a quarter in the rear, I will go forth a mean, lean, sassy bad burro mama despite any besmirchment that may befall me. :LOL:
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Then there's me.


Someone said once, Just Do It.
 
If guilt and /or shame are obstacles to us achieving "happiness", then where did this guilt or shame come from? What kind of situations created it? Why do we cling to it? I don't feel like I am guilty of anything horrible, just some awkward mistakes. I am not ashamed of "wrong" behavior because it is all to common to mess up. So I am trying to figure out what I should feel guilty for...or ashamed.

My Unhappiness is almost always related to some kind of hurt or suffering in me or someone else. Then it is hard to find happiness, so I don't try. Being unhappy because of suffering is something I think is part of my life.
 
If those you "wronged" won't forgive or forget it is harder, even with contrition, to forgive oneself? How is that dealt with? If their faces constantly remind you of your "sin?"
 
Paco Dennis said:
If guilt and /or shame are obstacles to us achieving "happiness", then where did this guilt or shame come from? What kind of situations created it? Why do we cling to it? I don't feel like I am guilty of anything horrible, just some awkward mistakes. I am not ashamed of "wrong" behavior because it is all to common to mess up. So I am trying to figure out what I should feel guilty for...or ashamed.

My Unhappiness is almost always related to some kind of hurt or suffering in me or someone else. Then it is hard to find happiness, so I don't try. Being unhappy because of suffering is something I think is part of my life.
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I had a cousin I never met. When he was fourteen he was driving a car drunk with eight friends in the car with him. He crashed and all eight friends were killed. He was unharmed. He killed himself.
 
Pepper said:
If those you "wronged" won't forgive or forget it is harder, even with contrition, to forgive oneself? How is that dealt with? If their faces constantly remind you of your "sin?"
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I find it takes two to tango. So if someone won't forget or forgive a perceived "sin", that is their problem too. I have a few of those. These people hate me, want to kill me and my loved ones, I know them well and they do haunt me at times. But, they perceive the wrongdoing and hate it, while I see it as a strong disagreement, nothing to shoot the person over. But I do admit I have thoughts of violence against those who hate me.
 

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