Here's the thing. All people, all people are a combination of good and bad.
According to Gods word we are all sinners regardless of our good things. If you don't believe in God than ignore the previous sentence.
Yet you deal with this value system. Where did it come from? Your parents, society in general??? where? Why does it continue to effect how you act, what you do?
Some statements from Gods word:
So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!
There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.
And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. But whoever does what is true comes to the light, so that it may be clearly seen that his works have been carried out in God.”
And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. ...
If you don't believe in a higher power then all these things are rubbish. If you can't explain how you feel, can't find an answer, then try looking into that which you don't believe.
Nothing to lose.
No one, least me, is going to try and convince you. I believe in God, obviously.
He is the origin of us. He created us. He knew what he was doing. We have only to acknowledge that and then move forward.
Otherwise your quest for answers will go on until you die.
Just my opinion.
