Am I having wicked thoughts?

IrishEyes

IrishEyes

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Location
Midwest
With the holidays around the corner I was thinking what to get the adult grands and I mentioned it to my DIL.
Her reaction sort of unnerved me. Soon as I told her she popped out "No, no, no no! Don't do that"
The gift I was thinking was the DNA tests. Once she collected herself, she said "I said no because they just
wouldn't be interested, don't waste your money on that"
The reason I was thinking of them was I overheard the 2 grand daughters talking about how cool it would
be to do them a few months back.
Friends, I have been having some sad thinking about this and that reaction. I will not be getting the tests, if the girls
do them on their own it will be their choice.
 

hollydolly said:
oh my goodness.. well.. I definitely would be suspicious.. how is she talking for grown adults?... i thought perhaps they were teens.. but I don't blame you for being suspicious at her panicked reply...
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It's shaken me up a bit I have to admit but does not change my love for the grands but sure has made me feel uncomfortable with DIL now.
 
IrishEyes said:
It's shaken me up a bit I have to admit but does not change my love for the grands but sure has made me feel uncomfortable with DIL now.
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Oh yes I'm not surprised, but it may be nothing, so don't go getting yourself too upset.. however, I'm a bit wicked because now..if it was me, I would be definitely dropping hints to the girls to have their DNA done...:sneaky:
 
I wouldn't call that wicked, and I think the idea is OK. But it all depends on what the kids want. DNA testing is a big deal among some, but others not so much. My sister ran one of those on our family, and reported the results to me. It was interesting, but not revealing about anything in particular. I wouldn't have spent the money on them myself. The tests made educated guesses about where those strangers prior to my grand parents may have come from. In our case, they may have been wide spread over Europe, but I would have guessed that anyway. I suppose it could be wicked if it revealed a lot of cheating among your loved ones, and you knew about it.
 
Paco Dennis said:
I just was at a Doctor who is an expert at testosterone, and he emphasized how important a DNA test is for a Doctor to know what works for some people but not for others. Did it bring up feelings of possible infidelity? weird.
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the 28 year old is a version of me, so no doubt there. Dad has commented on that over the years, my build, height, hair and eyes. If by chance the 26 year old is the issue, it would devastate her. I can't hint at it now. DIL and I always ahead of time discuss the holiday gifts so we don't duplicate them, so that is why it was even brought up in the 1st place. I wish I had been thinking towels or sheets for God's sake.
 
Muskrat said:
Remember that if anything untoward happened…it was long ago. You might just ask why the negative reaction. Some people have a gut reaction to giving up information…and DNA testing is a hot topic. This is more inline with people being protective…rather than nefarious.
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Mom had her own done a few years ago and began her tree and then said she lost interest and closed her profile.
 
JustDave said:
I wouldn't call that wicked, and I think the idea is OK. But it all depends on what the kids want. DNA testing is a big deal among some, but others not so much. My sister ran one of those on our family, and reported the results to me. It was interesting, but not revealing about anything in particular. I wouldn't have spent the money on them myself. The tests made educated guesses about where those strangers prior to my grand parents may have come from. In our case, they may have been wide spread over Europe, but I would have guessed that anyway. I suppose it could be wicked if it revealed a lot of cheating among your loved ones, and you knew about it.
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It could lead to a whole lot of ugly for many. I am not bringing it up again, What the reason is for her reaction was too panicky. She was really shook up. It's not my place to open a can of worms if there is one.
 
That's an interesting reaction on the part of your DIL, @IrishEyes.

My older daughter signed up for 123AndMe (I think that's the name?) just for fun and was quite interested in her results.
 
My daughter had her DNA tested and told me the results. Only one surprise turned up, which I thought was kind of funny. This daughter is a lovely, gentle, civilized person who would probably fit into a 19th century upper class drawing room, Her test revealed that she's about 3 percent Neanderthal.

I found out afterward that that is true of nearly all of us. That is where we came from.
 
hearlady said:
I understand why you thought of that as a gift, but think about it @IrishEyes . If you were in your twenties, would you want that as a gift? You're DIL might be more thinking the same way.
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When I was in my 20's I would have jumped on it because I was at that time trying to find a father I never knew. I wouldn't have even thought about it if I hadn't heard my grand daughters already discussing it.
But I am not mentioning it again. I was not about to talk to the family about this for obvious reasons so I came to all of you to help sort out how I am feeling and
Thank You, I will try and accept that answer that you just gave and pray that is what it is. If I ask DIL and she gives me some nervous explanation that is not going to help me. I defiantly feel I hit a tender spot just knowing her as I do.
She's been my DIL for 32 years. I read her hints when to drop a subject pretty well and always do so. It could go anyway so one has to weigh the consequences of each way it can go and is it worth it.
I think not. Maybe she will bring it up herself, I will wait till then.
 
Sunny said:
Her test revealed that she's about 3 percent Neanderthal. I found out afterward that that is true of nearly all of us. That is where we came from.
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Imagine being told that your DNA is 98% identical to a chimpanzee? Some people are not going to like that.


similarity between human and chimpanzee dna at DuckDuckGo

DNA Similarity Between Humans and Chimpanzees​


Overview of Genetic Similarity​


Humans and chimpanzees share a significant amount of genetic material, reflecting their close evolutionary relationship. The DNA sequences of both species are remarkably similar, with estimates indicating that they share approximately:
  • 96% to 99% of their DNA sequence when considering various factors like insertions and deletions.
  • 98.8% similarity when focusing on specific genes and their functions.
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Sunny said:
Her test revealed that she's about 3 percent Neanderthal. I found out afterward that that is true of nearly all of us. That is where we came from.
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Just a little hanky panky between one homo sapiens and a Neanderthal would spread far and wide in several generations. In the case of reused atoms, which is admittedly not the same as DNA, I read one time that everyone living today can say a part of him comes from William Shakespeare.
 
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From my DNA test, I learned definitively that not everything written in the family tree of one's family Bible is the gospel truth.

It's not as rare as one might think — a second cousin's daughter got a nasty surprise when she did an Ancestry DNA test and discovered her father wasn't her bio-dad. She didn't speak to her mother for several years after learning that.

When people brag that their relatives date back to the Mayflower, I raise an eyebrow and think to myself, "Maybe yes, maybe no..."

(Given the ugly early histories of American slavery and treatment of indigenous people and country, it's a relief that none of my relatives, not even the shadowy ones, emigrated prior to the 1890s.)
 
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StarSong said:
When people brag that their relatives date back to the Mayflower, I raise an eyebrow and think to myself, "Maybe yes, maybe no..."
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Yes, beyond my grandparents, I have no idea who came before. I know that most of them probably came from Europe, but what they did or what they were like will always remain a mystery. I suppose if I was related to George Washington, that information may (or may not) have been passed down through all the generations that followed.

But beyond my grandparents, it never crossed my mind who came before until late in life. I assume that's true for most of us. It just doesn't make any difference to our lives today.
 
StarSong said:
(Given the ugly early histories of American slavery and treatment of indigenous people and country, it's a relief that none of my relatives, not even the shadowy ones, emigrated prior to the 1890s.)
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Yeah, None of my ancestors were slavers at least in the last 150 years, but a thousand years ago? Who knows?
 

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