What is the Deal with Being Super Cheap?

wcwbf said:
... had an uncle ... I remember a story about him buying a pair of work boots at a "rummage sale". one boot was a size too small and the other a size too big... he made it work. there's a place in Conshohocken (Philly burbs) that specializes in nuts.. in shells, shelled, whole, pieces... at a good price. they would sell something they called "squirrel food"... jars of the dregs from their excellent homemade nut butters.... dirt cheap... meant for bird feeders. he'd pick out the occasion twig/shell to make a PB&J.
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Wow! Was it true or just one of those "Old thrifty uncle Angus" stories?
wcwbf said:
I'm a fan of thrift stores and yard sales.
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I'm not adverse to treasure hunter-hunting now and then myself.
wcwbf said:
I don't understand how anyone can just get rid of a well-worn, comfy, blue denim shirt. can't pass one by one in a thrift store.
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I draw the line at undergarments. I know the T-Vs get most of theirs' at the second-handers because the bartering is more discrete and I don't blame them for that.
wcwbf said:
I don't cheap out on food. real butter... not margarine. mayo... not miracle whip. good olive oil. good tuna... my preference is solid white in olive oil.
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Now you're talkin'! (y)
 

Naturally said:
Some of our parents were raised during the depression and that experience left lasting issues with some from that generation.
Heck there might be a couple of members here who were raised during the depression.
Just as some life experiences might leave us with issues maybe.

@Remy, I see you're in California and made me think about the thousands who left the Midwest during the dust bowl with little more than clothes on their back and headed for California. Those times were hard. The depression was hard. I won't judge.
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My husband was born in 1929 the start of the great depression. He was number 6 in a large family. His poor mother was beside herself when it came to feeding such a large family. . Her husband was a policeman, and the wages were not that high. She used to go door to door selling Kayser nylon stockings with five children with her.
She was always trying to think up ways to get money. She decided to put the non-working iron on the stove to heat it up and sent one of the children up to the pawn shop and say, "Mum has just finished ironing and can she have a few shillings for the iron". With that she would go to the local cake shop and buy pies and cakes for the family which would last a day or two. My husband said they were terrible times.
 
oscash said:
My husband was born in 1929 the start of the great depression. He was number 6 in a large family. His poor mother was beside herself when it came to feeding such a large family. . Her husband was a policeman, and the wages were not that high. She used to go door to door selling Kayser nylon stockings with five children with her.
She was always trying to think up ways to get money. She decided to put the non-working iron on the stove to heat it up and sent one of the children up to the pawn shop and say, "Mum has just finished ironing and can she have a few shillings for the iron". With that she would go to the local cake shop and buy pies and cakes for the family which would last a day or two. My husband said they were terrible times.
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"The luck of the Irish" is a fallacy, then? You’re doing OK though, yes. I’m happy to see that, Oscash. ❤️
 

@Remy. Your story reminded me of a friend I had in middle school. Her lunch was mustard or ketchup sandwiches. Her mother also had mental problems. There was no way I could eat my sandwich in front of her so I gave her half and half of my cake. My family was money challenged too, but ketchup sandwiches? C'mon. We all struggled through school back then I guess.
 
It's all about priorities, I guess. I don't like to overspend on things, but it always depends on what it is, and what the difference is. So, for the sake of £3 I'm not going to worry. I also won't compromise on quality.

Some people are simply obsessed, and would better to examine the obsession aspect of what they're doing.

On the other hand, the OP talks about buying cheap plates. Now, some love their bone china, others would be happy with paper plates. So that's just a matter of what you personally value. I mean, the food doesn't care what it's served on.

When it comes to children though, especially young children, one should consider the possible harm you're doing.
 
What @Inept said — our parents went thru the Depression and had learned to save, save, and save some more.

My mom, however, went the opposite. Old and wore out drove her crazy. My step father had a high paying job. She dressed all of us very well. I could go three weeks without wearing the same thing to school.

Mom could be frugal when she needed to be, but she wasn’t one to rinse out paper towels. My frayed sweaters and older coats were relegated to the barn closet.
 
Knight said:
What was your mothers childhood like growing up? What were her parents habits?

I ask that because IMO there is an individual on SF that is great example of how what most would consider as parents negatively impacting their daughters hoarding. Without your mothers input or knowing what caused that kind of behavior it's not fair for me to comment on what I don't know.
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There is a lot I don't know. My mother was an immigrant. They were not rich or poor. My mother was from Dresen Germany. She did say once they had enough money to have a woman come in once a week and help her mother with the wash. So I don't think they went without food. I think there were 4 kids.

Once my mother told me she had a new hat and she was walking across the bridge, it was windy and the hat blew off into the river. Obviously she could not get the hat back. She said she told her mother, who got mad at her about losing the new hat. But then she said "she must have felt bad because she got me another hat." What I would ask today was how mad. Did she rage for two days like my mother could. I doubt that. She probably just got upset at the moment. But I don't know.

My mother also said her mother sent her to visit her mother's sister in Poland as a child. My mother didn't like her or being there and she said she started screaming "I want to go home" so her aunt wired her sister, put my mother on a train and she never had to go back. But my mother liked her father's widowed sister who lived in the mountains and she went there every summer by train to stay a time with her and had made friends in the little town.

My oldest brother also told me in Germany that my mother got into a fight with her father once when she went to see him and as far as he knew, she never spoke to him again. My mother lost everything in the war, went hungry. I don't know what she really experienced. I'm blabbing all this because I don't know what turned my mother into such a personality disorder. Was it already there as a child due to her flipping out at her aunt? Or did the war and after cause it.

And I'll say it forever, no excuse to abuse your children. Ever. There are other examples and some of them are mistreatment and neglect of pets. I refuse to relay them here. The memories are horrible to me. My mother did later, become much better with pet care. Gratefully. And yes, there was money to care for the animals.
 
@VaughanJB Cheap plates? No no no. I have plates, mugs and other things at thrift stores that go for some good money as vintage on ebay and etsy.

I buy them because I like the patterns and I don't eat off anything made in China. I do have some knives etc because sometimes you can't find them otherwise. I enjoy thrifted kitchen items. I have a Revere Ware made in USA copper bottom large pot I got for $6.00, like new condition. Those go $40.00 and more on the secondary market and add shipping. I'll take my bargain.

I have 4 of these cheap dinner plates. Oh YES they were! I got them for 25 cents each at Salvation Army about 15 years ago. In like new condition. I even went back the next week to see if anymore in this set showed up. Never found anymore anywhere. My favorites. I always worry I will break one. I also like the Japan pattern plates, often with colorful flowers.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1303578155/mikasa-tivoli-dinner-plates-fine-ivory

Prices do vary but mine were in unused appearing condition.
 
I will also add, I'm a thrifter and so was my mother. That part does not bother me. In fact I'm surprised I do like to thrift so much considering that. One thing I do remember, my mother was never in a bad mood on the day of some of the big rummage sales in town. She loved them.
 
Remy said:
My mother lost everything in the war, went hungry. I don't know what she really experienced. I'm blabbing all this because I don't know what turned my mother into such a personality disorder. Was it already there as a child due to her flipping out at her aunt? Or did the war and after cause it.
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I appreciate you taking the time to respond in such detail.

I think that part of your post says a lot. Describing your mothers actions as personality disorder fits perfectly. There is a distinction between personality disorder & mental illness.

Thankfully you are able to recognize that something impacted your mother. Maybe better is you are able to step back & do differently in your life.

No doubt that a persons mind is fragile & subject to life's experiences.
 
Hey peeps, okay so I was scrolling thru the thread on “What’s the deal with being super cheap?” on SeniorForums and ngl it hit home. Some folks are like “save every penny,” which is cool and all, but when it gets to the point where quality drops, or you’re so paranoid about spending you don’t enjoy life, that’s when you gotta pause. Fr, being thrifty is smart; being cheap to a fault? Kinda rough, because you deserve good stuff too. Also btw, if you are trying to keep that budget in check but still want cool deals check out PoundSavingDeals. They’ve got legit discount codes and promos so you can splurge smart instead of impulse-shame yourself later. Don’t sleep on it fr.
 
GoodEnuff said:
Went back and reread the posts in this thread and I must apologize! I just realized that the sandwich posted in the OP's comment was made of bread, carrots and catsup. Oops! I was thinking it was some sort of sandwich with a side of carrots and catsup. My mistake!

So my apologies herewith. I misunderstood.
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Well I'm glad we got that straightened out. I read the whole thread wondering if I had it right.
Remy's mother really did make her starving son a carrot and ketchup sandwich which must have been hard to eat with those different textures.

Who knows what our parents were thinking? My mother was an excellent cook and we had big, nutritious meals with lots of variety.

However, she seemed to think we kids didn't really need clothes and I went all through high school alternating the same two outfits. She actually thought I had more than that because she was counting a few rather outlandish things she had made for me that would have made me the laughing stock of the school.
 
I have learned to be more frugal with my spending. I read labels..meaning looking at price per pound, or ounce to see what is better deal. In this way, having a bit extra wiggle room gives me opportunity to splurge on treats I do not buy often. Like paying to stream a movie off Amazon...or that shirt I like but do not NEED.
Anyone in US ever see that show Extreme Cheapskates? It is streaming..I think you can see episodes on You Tube, Many of those people are nuts
 
In Toronto we had two big discount stores, Bargain Harolds and Honest Ed's.
I remember my mother dragging me there to buy clothing for school.
When I graduated grade 8, they placed me in a Catholic High School, on the first day, they asked me where my uniform was. Sent me home with a form listing what was required and how much it would cost and the first thing out of my mom's mouth was "your not going back to that school" I ended up at public high school.
 
I found just recently that my son who lives near me has dubbed me "Depression Grandma" in a loving joking way.
It's all due my to battle with the electric company here. My sons home during the summer is always at 78 degrees. But when he
sits in to watch a good movie he has his lap electric blanket to be cozy by. Not saying this is a bad thing but he can afford to
feel comfortable as he wants to and not worry about the cost.
If I set my home at 78 degrees I would be needing an extension cord for that lap blanket as well as a sweater and a housecoat on.
I prefer to set my AC a bit higher and use fans and found a very comfortable setting for hubby and I where we can remain in tank
tops and shorts and be fine. If anyone comes to visit I will make it more comfortable before they arrive, fix it after they left. We usually
meet out someplace for a meal rather than to each other homes anyway. I found a fan or 2 are a lot cheaper to run than AC and I like the
breeze off a fan better.
I could live as expensively as the does to suit him, but would he pay my bills when I drain my savings? I won't risk finding out and neither
do I expect him to have to. This is his way of feeling he came out better than the parents did and that is alright with me as I wanted them
all to.
 
Imogene said:
What @Inept said — our parents went thru the Depression and had learned to save, save, and save some more.

My mom, however, went the opposite. Old and wore out drove her crazy. My step father had a high paying job. She dressed all of us very well. I could go three weeks without wearing the same thing to school.

Mom could be frugal when she needed to be, but she wasn’t one to rinse out paper towels. My frayed sweaters and older coats were relegated to the barn closet.
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I said this^^^^^ in January. I will add to it by saying I was born with frugal instincts. More than one person in my lifetime has accused me of being able to get the proverbial blood out of a turnip when it comes to stretching money.

I had saved my money from my first Christmas and birthday for a horse and never wavered thru the years. I had $300 saved by the time I was 12, in 1959.

Granddad looked for a year for just the right kid’s horse. She was a Palomino like Trigger — my absolute dream. She was $350 - I was short $50 and cried myself to sleep that night, because the Sellers wouldn’t budge. A few days later, Mom came through with the $50, adamantly telling me the only way she would go to the Barn and Feed would be if school activities kept me at school, or I was too sick to get out of bed.

That was an agreement that I never broke, I have had horses ever since, always remaining frugal in other aspects of my life, because my horses have been more important.
 
I have to admit I am a cheap person. Dating isn't above $10 (hot dog cart). I don't buy gifts. Only use around $5 to $10 a month on credit cards unless it's an emergency. I sew patches on boxer shorts. Sew up holes in clothes. Will pick up things off the sidewalk if I can use them. Refurbished electronics. Discount furniture store items. A few years ago all my covid masks were boiled and sterilized because I found them outside. My clothes come from walmart and target every month. Any purchases over $20 takes a few days of vetting and research. People know not to try to borrow money from me. A of people get very upset with me and it doesn't bother me. When it comes to money I only do I want.
 
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IrishEyes said:
I found just recently that my son who lives near me has dubbed me "Depression Grandma" in a loving joking way.
It's all due my to battle with the electric company here. My sons home during the summer is always at 78 degrees. But when he
sits in to watch a good movie he has his lap electric blanket to be cozy by. Not saying this is a bad thing but he can afford to
feel comfortable as he wants to and not worry about the cost.
If I set my home at 78 degrees I would be needing an extension cord for that lap blanket as well as a sweater and a housecoat on.
I prefer to set my AC a bit higher and use fans and found a very comfortable setting for hubby and I where we can remain in tank
tops and shorts and be fine. If anyone comes to visit I will make it more comfortable before they arrive, fix it after they left. We usually
meet out someplace for a meal rather than to each other homes anyway. I found a fan or 2 are a lot cheaper to run than AC and I like the
breeze off a fan better.
I could live as expensively as the does to suit him, but would he pay my bills when I drain my savings? I won't risk finding out and neither
do I expect him to have to. This is his way of feeling he came out better than the parents did and that is alright with me as I wanted them
all to.
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This summer I only ran my AC about an hour a day. That's all I could take because I was thinking about the electric bill. I don't like going over $35 a month.
 
I’m fine with being frugal and scrimping on boring day to day necessities in order to splurge a little.

I do get upset when I see people taking advantage of situations or people in order to save a few dollars.

Things like slipping napkins and sugar packets or complimentary food into your purse, grazing on the grapes and berries in the produce section of the supermarket isn’t being frugal it’s just plain theft.
 
I’m thrifty about most things, if I can be. I love a sale. At the same time, if I really need or want something, I’m not going to do without. Waste not, want not.

This year was the first time I’ve seen security guards in the grocery stores and thrift stores. Most theft must be in the afternoon, because that’s when they start.
 
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