Some women can be just as bad the grandfather and if he smothered her the women would give him life in jail, which could be an in improvement.
I think the secret is to recognize that each has their own interests and routines...and to keep the "interference" to a minimum. I worked, but the wife was a homemaker, and she was used to days by herself. When I retired, and we moved to the country, I had, and have, gobs of outdoor work to keep me occupied, and stay out of her way. She loves to sew, so she converted a spare bedroom to her "hobby" room, and I stay out of there. I have a small room, to the side of the master bedroom for my computer room, and on lousy weather days, she is at one end of the house, and I'm at the other.
I get up early, and she lounges in bed a bit longer...so I make my own breakfast, and while she is having her morning cereal, I check my e-mail, etc., then I do the breakfast dishes. If she is wrapped up in some big sewing project, about once a week, I get out the recipe book, and make supper. That gives me some "kitchen" experience, should she pass before I do...so I don't feel helpless trying to feed myself. I create a pile of dirty "work " clothes with my outdoor work, so once a week, I do all that laundry...again, so I know how to do those chores.
It's all about Sharing the household duties, and Not getting in each others way...and so far, it's allowing for a acceptable co-existence. If I cross the line, she closes her sewing room door, and that is my signal to "back off". If she gets under my skin, I go out to my workshop and pound on something out there...and by Suppertime, things have cooled down.