Reasons why Marriages Fall Apart

I think when people start disrespecting one another, it's the beginning of the end. If you don't value your spouse or they don't value you, it's the beginning of the end. Of course what caused and leads up to that point in time, varies from different couples. You have to have goals. Some people say marriage requires a lot of work. I don't see it that way. If you enjoy each other's company and your time together, it's not work. It's just like some people's jobs are work to them. Other people enjoy their jobs so much, it's not like work. It's enjoyable. When marriage starts to be a job and not enjoyable, then that's when I think marriages start to spiral down.
 

MarciKS said:
Mine kept accusing me of having an affair and come to find out it was him having the affair. When I told him I was leaving he literally cried real tears and begged me not to go because he loved me. After the divorce he told me he never loved me he just kept me around for sex and housework.
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I've always heard that if a man ( or woman but usually a man) accuses you of cheating, that they are probably the one cheating. They accuse the other one of it to clear their guilty mind.
 

Dr.Colosso said:
Nice marriages are always 2 super adult people who weren't abused by a parent. My ex's mother beat him up with fishing gear when he was small. He keeps her away from our kids. His parents staid married, horrible marriage. His dad was the sweetest. Had nothing to say. That's why he didn't want fighting parents for our kids. It's just way easier to get along when you're not in a relationship. When I was married I was childish, whiny, I had expectations. Now I have zero expectations, like for everyone else.
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Single or married, they both have their pros and cons. I'm glad you're happy.
 
Aunt Bea said:
I think that too many of us fall in love with what could be instead of what is.

I grew up surrounded by too many bad examples of what marriage could do to two basically decent loving people and decided that it wasn’t for me.
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I think (especially young people), get sidetracked with the "butterflies". They think this is love and when they find out that marriage isn't all butterflies and that giddy feeling you get when you're excited by someone, they become discouraged and look for a way out. Butterflies and love don't necessarily equate.
 
Observing wedding vows promotes a long and happy marriage by establishing a foundation of trust and mutual respect, fostering continuous growth, and providing a guiding framework for navigating life's inevitable challenges.

Wedding vows are solemn promises that create an implicit social contract, establishing a secure framework within which both partners can thrive. The commitment to "forsaking all others" and remaining faithful builds essential trust, which is the cornerstone of emotional security. When individuals feel safe and secure within their relationship, they are more likely to be vulnerable and communicate effectively, deepening their emotional intimacy and overall happiness.

In essence, observing wedding vows elevates the marital relationship beyond fleeting emotions, transforming it into a conscious, dedicated choice to uphold a sacred covenant. This deliberate adherence to core principles of fidelity, perseverance, and mutual support is the intellectual and emotional bedrock upon which a long and enduringly happy wedded life is built.
 
MACKTEXAS said:
There are countless reasons why marriages fail. At the top of the list are infidelity, lack of commitment, different goals, boredom with each other, finances, and above all, abuse.

From enduring marriages I've seen, there was true commitment, along with the ability to compromise. Unfortunately, one partner often gives more than the other, but even those marriages can make it through (ours did). I don't see anything positive about a toxic marriage like the one described in the OP surviving.
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Commitment.
 
It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss. A long-term marriage is often a lifetime spent shouting 'WHAT' from different rooms. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality, just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins. Marriage is like a video game: it starts off easy, then gets harder. It allows you to annoy one special person for the rest of your life.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years, then we met. A man who says his wife can't take a joke forgets she took him. Marrying "Miss Right?" Make sure that her first name isn't "Always." My wife and I would never consider divorce. Murder? Yes. Divorce, never!
 
people change along the way.... starting out is often fine but we all go through trials in life or grow and often it is not on same timeline.
it may not be work exactly but it requires keeping up with who they are now not what they were at the beginning. changing to meet the moment and recognizing change.
I really do feel people fall OUT of love ... one can only put up with certain things for so long before losing their mind.
 

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