Is 'ladies first' a polite idea, or is it sexist?

Do something you think is a nice gesture, but don't be surprised if it draws ire. So if I'm going into Walmart, and a woman is approaching the door at the same time, I make a big deal about it, jump in front of her, and say, "Let me get that for you," as I face the door, step closer and wave my hands like a magician, and the door opens automatically. I then stand back an make a grand gesture to usher her in first. I've yet to be met with scorn, and so far have always gotten a friendly laugh with this move. Although, I have not yet gotten an invitation to dinner.
 

Ladies first was an ancient survival tactic where women were prioritised for safety or sent ahead into danger to protect the group. While often viewed as a courteous, 19th-century etiquette practice rooted in the idea of protecting the "weaker" sex, it evolved from older, less romantic traditions of sacrifice. Ladies first or not, it's simply good manners.

Good manners are not only important, but an increasingly rare commodity. Personally, I want them back. I want doors held open for people, I want people to help each other carry their heavy loads, offer an hand up when someone trips and, please, can we have some more “please and thank you’s” in the world.
 
Some men run ahead of me to open the door for me. I think it is because I am older. I thank them and I hold the door if a man is behind me and they thank me.

My husband who is handicapped and uses a cane to steady himself, has people (men and women) hold the door for him and we both say thank you.
 

Sure, I always allow females to go first, or open or hold a door for them. If I could help in any other way, I generally did help.

As a state trooper, I also changed a lot of tires for females that had a flat on the Turnpike or Interstate or on any state road.
It was all part of the job. I even had women offer me a tip and one female gave me her phone number.
 
Do something you think is a nice gesture, but don't be surprised if it draws ire. So if I'm going into Walmart, and a woman is approaching the door at the same time, I make a big deal about it, jump in front of her, and say, "Let me get that for you," as I face the door, step closer and wave my hands like a magician, and the door opens automatically. I then stand back an make a grand gesture to usher her in first. I've yet to be met with scorn, and so far have always gotten a friendly laugh with this move. Although, I have not yet gotten an invitation to dinner.
Love your attitude. I could use you to open a few self opening doors for me. Many a time I have stood in front of such a door that refused to open. Only lately did I realised that the sensor did not see me because I stood a bit too close. I mentioned my lack of height. That is what caused my difficulties. Now I stand further away from the door and wave my hands over my head. To passersby I must look like a total nut case.
 
This is just how I feel. Whoever gets there first should hold the door open for the next person.
You should offer help to whoever needs help. Im tall so I usually offer to get stuff off the upper shelves at the grocery.
It would be really nice if short people would get stuff off that bottom shelf for me. The older I get the harder it gets to get down there.

Its not some guys job to carry my whole load just because hes a guy. Theres no reason why we cant share the load.
But men are generally stronger so it would be nice if he offered to carry the heavier stuff. I have freaked a few out when I offered to help them carry stuff. :D

My experience on this subject might be skewed by my size. If I were to act helpless Ive always got an eye roll.
I will admit that I kind of have a double standard though. If Im in jeans and a flannel shirt I dont expect door opening and walking on the outside. If this is your jam. Im fine either way. Im not going to call somebody sexist over it. But if we go out and Ive spent an hour and a half on paint and body work and Im wearing my sit down shoes then you better be opening my car door and holding an umbrella. :D
 


Back
Top