Is 'ladies first' a polite idea, or is it sexist?

I have asked people to get something from high shelf in supermarket too - that isnt a sexist thing though - people aren't helping me because I am female , they are helping me because I am shorter

and I ask any able bodied person who looks tall enough - man or woman.

'Age before beauty' just seems one of those slightly cringey over-used sayings that people use - always meant well so I take it in that spirit.
 

CinnamonSugar said:
Another situation in which I have no trouble asking for or accepting help is when something I need at the grocery store is on a high shelf, out of my 5’ 4” reach. Granted, I have stood on a low shelf to try to reach it but why risk damage to myself or property when there’s someone capable handy. Most people don’t mind. Like @seadoug, I’m in a polite part of the country
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I was going to mention that as well. There have been several times I've seen a woman reaching for something on a high shelf in the grocery store and I've handed it to her. The last woman said, "well, you're so much taller". I'm only 5'8"! :ROFLMAO:
 
seadoug said:
I was going to mention that as well. There have been several times I've seen a woman reaching for something on a high shelf in the grocery store and I've handed it to her. The last woman said, "well, you're so much taller". I'm only 5'8"! :ROFLMAO:
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I'm only 5'1", so even in my own house I need assistance or I risk injury. I have a small step stool in the kitchen but have to be very careful not to bring heavy objects down on my head.

I'm educating my granddaughter's young man. Next month he will become a full time member of my household. He will be the only man in the house.

I've told him that I will need him to do the "man jobs". Puzzled, he asked my granddaughter, "What are man jobs?"

"Anything that Grandma says they are', she replied laughing.

So far all I have asked is that he sharpen some kitchen knives. He was happy to do so, although he did lack training in this fine art.
 

I went to the movies the other day and bought a small bottle of water. It was impossible to open the lid, so I asked the usher
if he could do it for me, "No problem, lady" and opened it with great ease. I felt quite foolish as I was grunting and groaning trying to open it. He offered to open my sister's bottle, but she said she could do it. She couldn't open it and had to wait until
the end of the movie.
 
it could be seen as a stamp of honor - the more intelligent and responsible and real ruler of the home must be treated like a queen where all males muste never step off in front but must defer ?
 
smiley said:
it could be seen as a stamp of honor - the more intelligent and responsible and real ruler of the home must be treated like a queen where all males muste never step off in front but must defer ?
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Although I have reason to suspect that I am a direct descendent of Boudicca, Queen of the Iceni,* I don't want to be treated like a queen. However, if slighted or disrespected I might just go to war as Boudicca did when the Romans tried to annex her kingdom.

Instead, what I want is what my father, from more humble Dorset stock, wanted out of life.

He often said, "all I want out of life is a fair go, and a bit of peace and quiet".
It took a lot to get him riled up and I am the same.
Once my blood is running hot, it could take some time to cool down again.



* Not really. I made that up.
 
Warrigal said:
I'm only 5'1", so even in my own house I need assistance or I risk injury. I have a small step stool in the kitchen but have to be very careful not to bring heavy objects down on my head.

I'm educating my granddaughter's young man. Next month he will become a full time member of my household. He will be the only man in the house.

I've told him that I will need him to do the "man jobs". Puzzled, he asked my granddaughter, "What are man jobs?"

"Anything that Grandma says they are', she replied laughing.

So far all I have asked is that he sharpen some kitchen knives. He was happy to do so, although he did lack training in this fine art.
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It’s important that you are also educating your granddaughter. She needs to know what good male behavior is like and expect that on a regular basis. Also, to dump any loser who can’t display it consistently.

I often marvel at the lousy choices young women make when choosing the man they have a baby with.
 
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Warrigal said:
I'm only 5'1", so even in my own house I need assistance or I risk injury. I have a small step stool in the kitchen but have to be very careful not to bring heavy objects down on my head.

I'm educating my granddaughter's young man. Next month he will become a full time member of my household. He will be the only man in the house.

I've told him that I will need him to do the "man jobs". Puzzled, he asked my granddaughter, "What are man jobs?"

"Anything that Grandma says they are', she replied laughing.

So far all I have asked is that he sharpen some kitchen knives. He was happy to do so, although he did lack training in this fine art.
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Warrigal, do you have one of those grabber/gripper things? I use mine very often for things that are unreachable for me
 
Sunny said:
Warrigal, do you have one of those grabber/gripper things? I use mine very often for things that are unreachable for me
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I do. In fact, I have three of them. I also have several plastic foot stools in the house but at almost 83 years old, when someone taller and stronger is available, male or female, I don't hesitate to ask for a bit of help. I cannot afford to have a fall, or to have some heavy object come crashing down on my head.

My hard working 62 year old daughter currently does all of the outside yard work and she could do with another pair of hands. The boyfriend, who is joining our household soon, is not going to escape his share of the chores.

He is a sweetie and just needs to be asked. Very polite, and he appreciates my cooking. He is a keeper as far as I am concerned.
 
January said:
I have asked people to get something from high shelf in supermarket too - that isnt a sexist thing though - people aren't helping me because I am female , they are helping me because I am shorter

and I ask any able bodied person who looks tall enough - man or woman.

'Age before beauty' just seems one of those slightly cringey over-used sayings that people use - always meant well so I take it in that spirit.
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I do the same, January. This just occurred to me: I wonder if shorter men are as quick to ask for help as women are. And what if a short guy approaches a tall woman and asks for help? Might depend on his age. Over 70: sure, she'd probably help him. But what if he's a short young guy?
 
Is 'ladies first' a polite idea, or is it sexist?
For me it is down to the way was raised - and within the generation oe was born into.
It is good manners to be respectful of others so I have always been of a mindset of, - Holding open a door, giving up a seat for an female (especially if they be of a more vulnerable age range), Ladies and children to walk on the inside of a roadway.

I don't class this as Sexist - as this word characterises showing prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically 'against' women, - on the basis of sex.
I feel it is only when things are done in a and for a nehative way where this applies
 
WOLF ANGEL said:
Is 'ladies first' a polite idea, or is it sexist?
For me it is down to the way was raised - and within the generation oe was born into.
It is good manners to be respectful of others so I have always been of a mindset of, - Holding open a door, giving up a seat for an female (especially if they be of a more vulnerable age range), Ladies and children to walk on the inside of a roadway.

I don't class this as Sexist - as this word characterises showing prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically 'against' women, - on the basis of sex.
I feel it is only when things are done in a and for a nehative way where this applies
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How on earth can it be sexist? Maybe like in that funny show Miranda when a creepy guy pulls her chair, but normally I'd think it's sexist towards men. Why does it not matter if a car hits him? Or like men must fight in a war but women may chill with the kids, like they do in Ukrain. The women and kids live in a building where I work, but if dad risks his life who cares. He's forced to.

Or in my country: women may work part time but men must work full time. Why? That's discrimination. Guys in my country now get a bit more equal rights too. Not always, but at my office they get a daddy day and can go home sooner if (mom and) kids need em.
 
Sunny said:
I do the same, January. This just occurred to me: I wonder if shorter men are as quick to ask for help as women are. And what if a short guy approaches a tall woman and asks for help? Might depend on his age. Over 70: sure, she'd probably help him. But what if he's a short young guy?
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i n the hypothetical situation I were a tall woman and a shorter man asked for help getting something from a high shelf I would certainly do so

Why not?

but whether the men are as quick t o ask, who knows? But if they asked, I would.
 
Dr.Colosso said:
Or in my country: women may work part time but men must work full time. Why? That's discrimination. Guys in my country now get a bit more equal rights too. Not always, but at my office they get a daddy day and can go home sooner if (mom and) kids need em.
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my bold
yes it certainly is

not the case here - other than maternity leave, all other rules are equal here - either gender can work whatever hours, get same leave entitlements, ( eg carer's leave) pension entitlements etc
 

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