Never So Alone As I Am, Now!
- Thread starter Ian McKlatchie
- Start date
Ian McKlatchie
Member
Ian McKlatchie
Member
I used to be a firm believer in my Guardian Angel! I had seen far too much to ever again entertain doubts!
Then, I was struck down by this Acute Dysphoric Anhedonia and my ability to feel pleasure, comfort or reward vanished. No spiritual comfort left...no spiritually connected feeling.
Now, I feel completely disconnected from that Guardian Angel!
I like to think that I'm still, somehow, connected to that Guardian Angel, but, after asking for a sign of some kind, all I can now do is wait, and see if I get one!
Anhedonia is the cruellest of the mental health conditions...just like loneliness, it removes your life while forcing you to go on living it!
Then, I was struck down by this Acute Dysphoric Anhedonia and my ability to feel pleasure, comfort or reward vanished. No spiritual comfort left...no spiritually connected feeling.
Now, I feel completely disconnected from that Guardian Angel!
I like to think that I'm still, somehow, connected to that Guardian Angel, but, after asking for a sign of some kind, all I can now do is wait, and see if I get one!
Anhedonia is the cruellest of the mental health conditions...just like loneliness, it removes your life while forcing you to go on living it!
Paco Dennis
SF VIP
- Location
- Mid-Missouri
I watched the video. Have you tried to change/transform the negative messages you produce into positive messages?@Messy - I know what you mean! I love this stuff! It's time the world sat up and took notice!
Ian McKlatchie
Member
I reach, deep down inside me, for the ability to feel something positive, but the only positive I feel is that I'm positive that my Guardian Angel (once, a great source of comfort to me) is offline. I just look inside me and feel...nothing. This condition is never in a hurry to go away...it stays until it leaves. You don't make it go away. You can't.
Paco Dennis
SF VIP
- Location
- Mid-Missouri
I wonder if repeating mantras/affirmations and keep them in mind even when you are feeling void. Maybe repeating something like "my spirit now is silent and quiet. Soon it will rise again to bring me life". Remember and repeat it all throughout the day. Have you tried anything like that?
Ian McKlatchie
Member
Well, oddly enough...I think I've always believed in that. Like the words build up like carpet layers and, sooner or later, there are enough to be more than just repeated words - so, yes...I think those work. Finding precisely the right one is important, probably. In my diaries, when I was a teenager, I called them "Posigestions", and used them a lot. Thank you for reminding me of mantras...I think that there is a useful tool in them.
I am reminded of the old adage - If you change nothing, nothing changes.
I think you need to be proactive and make changes even if they are baby steps.
Make yourself excercise more, get out the house more, connect with people, have some purposeful activity.....
I think you need to be proactive and make changes even if they are baby steps.
Make yourself excercise more, get out the house more, connect with people, have some purposeful activity.....
What medications are you on, if any? Some medications can make you feel like a Zombie. I was briefly on Prozac years ago, but I took myself off of it because I had no emotions with it. I hated that feeling.
Ian McKlatchie
Member
palides2021
Well-known Member
- Location
- MidAtlantic, USA
I like to write in my journal and communicate with God or my guardian angel, and then wait for their message and write it down. I go back to it whenever I need to feel peace.
Ian McKlatchie
Member
@palides2021 - I asked my Guardian Angel for some sign that I was still somehow connected to them, and I received absolutely nothing! I feel truly and absolutely abandoned and I still have no idea what I ever did to deserve this!
When you pray while having no Faith, you might as well just read some text off the back of a Corn Flakes box, because that's all the value is in your prayers when you are out of touch with your Faith. I didn't ask for this anhedonia to kill off my Faith - I'm a victim of this disgusting condition and I'm angry! Of course, I'm angry! I wish people who still had their Faith would pray for me, because my own prayers are completely pointless!
When you pray while having no Faith, you might as well just read some text off the back of a Corn Flakes box, because that's all the value is in your prayers when you are out of touch with your Faith. I didn't ask for this anhedonia to kill off my Faith - I'm a victim of this disgusting condition and I'm angry! Of course, I'm angry! I wish people who still had their Faith would pray for me, because my own prayers are completely pointless!
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Jopie
New Member
Guardian angel? I never talk to any angel. You can talk to God directly. I will pray for you.
CallMeKate
SF VIP
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic US
That avatar looks familiar.
Jopie
New Member
My son drew me with glue. I banned myself. I went to reddit true christianity, but there an ass said that i was no christian if I didnt believe in beating up your 1 year old for having a tantrum, so I also banned myself there. There you can just remove your account. Way easier. Anyway I saw this thread and had to answer, but I cant get into my account cause I changed the password and email to something non existent.That avatar looks familiar.
Ian McKlatchie
Member
I tried talking to God! The line has been busy for around 9 months!
CallMeKate
SF VIP
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic US
Thought that was you. Reddit... I really wouldn't pay any attention to what is said there. You have as much right to speak your mind as anyone else does.
Jopie
New Member
I have sent a prayer request to prayercave tv in Kenya for you.
Ian McKlatchie
Member
I am genuinely grateful to you, for doing this for me. It's very lonely, out here.
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
so who are/were you ?
Sunkist
Senior Member
That was my first thought when I first saw it earlier..That avatar looks familiar.
